MEDIT A TION WTF ? By Claire Mullins
My therapist first broached the subject of meditation with me one cold Tuesday morning in January of this year . We were sitting in his office , a peaceful space , resplendent with greenery , the ubiquitous boxes of tissues strategically placed throughout . Each of us sat in our large comfy chairs facing one another having just worked our way through some thorny topics and I ’ m feeling rather smug about myself for having had a successful session . Suddenly , without warning , I mean straight out of left field , no foreplay here , he says , “ So , how about meditation ?”. I nod , look over my shoulder , utterly convinced that he must be talking to someone else who had just entered the room . Nope , no one else has entered the room . I turn back , smile , nod , rather bemused , still not catching on here . He returns my smile in that uniquely beatific way that they teach all the good ones in therapy school and nods back . I ’ m confused and starting to panic …. Me ( pointing at self ): “ you ’ re talking to me ?” Font of all psychological wisdom : “ Yes you ” ( beatific smile still in place ). Me ( repeatedly stabbing index finger at chest , panic rising ): “ but , me ? sit still for half an hour ? eat tofu ? chant nonsense ? wear love beads ? sit on the floor cross - legged ? me ?” Font of all psychological wisdom : “ yes you ” Me ( realisation dawning ): “ I don ’ t know how to meditate , I don ’ t have time to meditate , I DON ’ T WANT TO KNOW HOW TO MEDITATE !” Font of all psychological wisdom : “ don ’ t worry , we ’ ll start with the
easy stuff , five minutes at a time ” Me : “ FIVE WHOLE MINUTES?!”
| AUGUS T 202 1 • HOL A SOB E R |
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