Dealing with Tough Situations There is no perfect way to deal with difficult situations…hence the word “difficult.” Situations are different as are people and their tolerance under duress. The following are just a few tactics that can be deployed and have proven successful. First: • Meet privately when possible – having an audience causes more defensiveness. • Don’t take things personally. Recognize that your role is to be calm and objective. • Expect that difficult situations will take time to resolve – if you feel rushed, ask to meet at a later, specific time. Use Active Listening Skills: • Clarification – ask questions to clarify if you are unsure.
• Paraphrasing – rephrase content. • Reflection – rephrase feelings. • Summarization – listen for themes or main points. • Physical cues – use head nods, eye contact, open body posture; this lets the listener know that you are listening. Identify the Problem: • Clarify the expectations of the interaction. • Encourage the person to talk – this provides you more understanding of the “real” issues involved and often provides clues for possible solutions.
“The message is clear. Technical expertise is the cover charge into the executive ranks. It gets you in the door but not a seat at the bar, much less a free drink. Leadership and creating value as ‘we’ rather than ‘me’ is what gets you ahead.” — Eric Herrenkohl, Managing Director and A-Player Leadership and Career Services Coach at AchieveNEXT
• Reframe the problem so that it is not personal. Ex. The problem is usage of room time, not that one roommate is a jerk who plays music too loudly, and the other is a jerk who sleeps too much. • Make the problem something that you are both working on collaboratively to solve. • Don’t focus on placing blame, but instead discuss how to correct the problem and how to prevent it from happening again.
“Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.” — Henry J. Kaiser
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