INTERGENERATIONAL EXCHANGE Looking back, what advice would you give your younger self? What have you learnt that you wish you had known? What knowledge or wisdom can you pass on to others at that age from your life experience?
MARCUS McCANN – 54
On Relationships
I left the U.S. five years ago when my family of origin revealed themselves as Trump supporters. It was painful and hurtful. When I came to Ireland, I discovered a rainbow family who supports me and celebrates me in all of my queerness.
On Coming Out
On General Life
I should have come out sooner than when I was a 30 something… but it’s never too late. Do it to suit yourself and nobody else. And have loads of fun too.
When walking down stairs in heels, always point your toes outward.
On Mental Health
What I’d tell myself 40 years from now. What I’ve learnt & hope to learn.
Do talk problems and situations with someone you are comfortable with. Worry less about what others think. You are loved every day by so many people. You are good enough. In fact you are the Best! Take a ‘’mental break’’ at work every day, just 3 or 4 minutes for you, Just you, and nobody else.
What message would you give your older self? What do you think you, in 40 years from now, would look back on and tell you today? What is it you hope to have accomplished or learnt in the next 40 years? SEBASTIAN – 19
RITA WILD - 57
WILL KENNEDY – 63
On Physical Health
On Coming Out
On Coming Out
Get out more. Walking, cycling, jogging, fresh air is free, take full advantage of it. Get a pet, eat at least one healthy meal per day, you’ll soon see the difference.
No one ever regrets coming out, no matter how hard it feels. I came out in 1987, via Lesbian Line, I got plugged in toa political, activist community and we partied and ‘activised’ hard. That saved me. Plug in to community, it might save you too.
Coming out is not a one off event. As you grow in life you will always be meeting new people in new situations. So you may have to decide not once but many times if you should come out. The most important coming out in your life, will be coming out to yourself. Self-acceptance is the key to a happy life.
On Relationships
On Coming Out
Don’t lose hope of finding ‘’The Right One’’, but have loads of fun along the way. Life is too short so make every minute count.
On Mental Health
Some people will disappoint you. Some will make you disappointed in yourself. But those people have their own struggles, their own beliefs. You can’t change them. But you can accept them for who they are and love yourself more than ever could
On Mental Health
This culture traumatises Queer people, it traumatises everyone who doesn’t conform to its norms. We all have trauma, learn about it and how it is playing out in your own life, understanding trauma makes understanding everything else so much easier. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself at least once a day.
Choose wisely the people you want in your life. People with positive attitudes will have a positive influence on you. Also find something you are passionate about, something that makes you feel alive. Follow that passion with the help of friends you and community, your community.
On General Life
My younger self probably wouldn’t listen to ‘the likes of me’ but I’ll keep it simple and say: “Stop trying to change yourself to please others, and start focusing on the things that matter to you”.
On Mental Health
You don’t have to be 100% every day. Some days, 1% is enough
On Physical Health
On Physical Health
Bodies are amazing and the allegedly not ‘perfect’ ones are the most amazing of all; this auld scarred, patched up, bag of bones of mine is a blessing, even when it doesn’t work as I want or expect. Avoid ‘diets’ they are the devils work. All bodies are good bodies.
Being fit has so many benefits, it’s something you should try to maintain throughout your whole life. First off, if you are fit your physical health will be so much better. I can’t guarantee you will not get any major physical illness, but being fit lessens your chances. Also being fit is great for your mental health.
DAITHI CEE – 66
On Physical Health
Your disability doesn’t define you. The pain doesn’t make you weak. The scares don’t make you ugly and the exhaustion doesn’t make you lazy. It only makes you more determined
On Coming Out
I came out in 1974, in Dallas, Texas. I had met my first boyfriend at university and I wanted to share my excitement with my mother. After all, a boy’s best friend is his mother. (Norman Bates in Psycho).
On Relationships
On Relationships
On Relationships
We inherited a heteropatriarchal model of relationship that really doesn’t serve us Queers. I think we need new models and I think we are making those, meanwhile treating people with love and respect goes a long way. Friendships are what gets us through the hard times, good friends are like winning the lotto.
Try not to worry too much about relationships. They are many different forms of relationships. Family, friends, work relationships and of course romantic relationships. But the most important one of all is a good, healthy relationship with yourself. Find inner happiness and peace and you won’t need to find them from any outside source.
Don’t limit yourself to what you believe you deserve because trust me - You deserve so much more! There are people who will use you for your identity, but there are people who will love you despite it.
On Mental Health
After nearly 50 years out of the closet, I have totally thrown off any pathology about my queerness. If someone has a problem with me being gay, it’s THEIR problem.
On Your Future Goals and where you hope to be in life
I want to make films that matter to people. That tell stories that everyone can relate to and feel their experiences have been shared. From a young queer kid to an older person of colour.
Any Other Advice On Life in General
On General Life
I think perspective helps, when I feel the weight of life I try to remember that I am but a speck on a tiny planet in a massive universe and really am of no consequence at all in the great scheme of things. And I try to remember to wear life like a loose garment.
Life is short, it may not seem so now, and also we only get one go at it. This is not a rehearsal. So find out who you are, this may not be easy. But if you find out who you truly are, come to accept self, then you will not spend your life seeking outside approval or acceptance. Remember you are unique, and there never has been and never will be another you.
On Physical Health
I used to think my body was a temple, but now I realise it’s a theme park.
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