Q&A
Maybe POCs should become more resilient? Admittedly, I often get this from white men I date. The assumption is that we POCs need to not “take things so seriously”.
I think PC and diversity can go a bit too far...
What can I do overall? Becoming aware is the first step. Listening to or reading about experiences of minorities to hear about the difficulties they face and how racism happens to them is really important. Getting comfortable with thinking critically about our privileges is another step. ‘Privilege’ is a word that pisses a lot of people off. But I believe if we were more aware of the structural benefits gained from our heritage and socioeconomic origins relative to those of others, we allow for understanding the battles others face. Be nice. I have known many people who refused to acknowledge my experiences with racism. They are not people I can trust or confide in. However, you can be a person someone can trust and confide in with good reason, regardless of their social, ethnic or gender-based backgrounds. Everyone can be an asshole (even us POCs!) but also everyone also has their own stories and traumas. End note Also, apologies: I would have loved to talked about racism towards members of the Traveller community, but it isn’t something I could do comfortably. I will acknowledge the existence and injustices travellers face, and will learn more in the coming time. Anyways, I am off to practise to what I have preached here!
The idea of “people being so PC” these days aligns so conveniently with socially conservative views promoting exclusion and intolerance. I know it is overwhelming to witness and experience change in society. Indeed, there are now greater expectations on how we express ourselves and which words we should use. The heavy focus on language and on what we should say is obviously about balance. We need to teach our children that we in the previous generations have been callous and apathetic with our words, and that they have a chance to get used to more inclusive vocabularies. This also involves teaching them that they can choose friends and partners from any social, ethnic, socioeconomic and gender-based backgrounds, and that they can have fun without making it at the expense of others.
What is wrong with saying “I don’t see colour”?
As detailed above, we have exercised resilience throughout our lives. POCs don’t get angry because we “can’t take a joke” - we get angry because we are exhausted. The exhaustion comes from being forcibly defined by how we are so different from everyone else.
The shared experience is that as POCs we see colour all the time, and admittedly to our own disadvantages at times.
When I joined networking groups in Cork for my self- employment, I found myself at many events and contexts where I was the only black/brown person around. There was no way on Earth that I wouldn’t contextualise my skin colour in almost whatever I did: “Shiiit, is she looking at me more than the others?”, “Nope, walk away, he gives off Healy-Rae vibes”, “Her scarf has a leopard pattern, she might be cool...”. My anxieties were luckily often curbed as I found Cork people to be helpful and welcoming. I wouldn’t be working with motion graphics full-time now, had I not ventured out to mingle in these contexts. But the colour of my skin comes to mind in almost every context. And for the most part positively so. Thus, when someone says that they don’t see my skin colour, it is like ignoring something very obvious. Your intentions might be good, but unfortunately it is not very convincing. What do you prefer to be called? Different experiences for different words. For instance, the English version of the offensive ‘n’ word has few to no negative connotations for me (this is not me condoning its use, though!), while the Danish equivalent ‘neger’ sends me spiralling down a drain of hurtful trauma, no matter who utters it. I also find the term ‘POC’ to be useful here in Europe, but very weird to use when I am visiting Zambia. There is little point in clinging or searching for a word that can describe “all of us”, because in reality, referring to us by name or as the nationality we have, is less othering and much easier. Again, I don’t identify with a race nor ethnicity, and for the same reason, I leave census form fields on ethnic heritage empty.
I am not racist, there are some REAL racists out there!
The idea is that the ‘light’ discriminatory micro-aggressions (as some call them: “jokes”) we encounter are nothing compared to some “really racist people out there”. Or the idea of there being larger racist movements in works, and that we need to spend efforts focusing on those. Firstly, the big racist ‘movements’ are already in place, they are called post- colonialism, white/Western supremacy, legislative segregation, ethnic and racial violence, and right-wing political discourse. Indeed, far-right movements are on the rise, but self-declared well-meaning people joining in on the micro-aggressive racist comments are just being part of all that. Can POCs be racist? Yes, just as gay people can be queerphobic. Personally, I feel that when we POCs discuss racism, we need to consider our own privileges. I, for instance, feel very confident communicating in English and Danish, and as an EU citizen I can navigate Denmark and Ireland somewhat easily. My socioeconomic background means that I will never fully be left in starvation or homelessness. I am also very comfortable with digital technology, and I got my first relevant job through my father’s network. Further, I am an openly gay guy who came out early in life and has had plenty of resources to develop my emotional availability. I must remember that most people in the world may have few or none of these benefits, especially when I point towards other POCs. For a long time, I was embarrassed with black people in Copenhagen who did not try to aspire for the societal validation and levels of achievement I was aiming for. I was embarrassed if they didn’t speak as good Danish as I, or that they hadn’t “abandoned” their religious- conservative attitudes. What matters is perspective. Don’t get me wrong: if you are a POC with enormous wealth and influence, you still have the right to condemn racism when you experience it. But how we position ourselves in society relative to others is important when discussing social injustice.
I amwhite and I think I said something racist, what happens now?
We will gather a mob and scalp you. No, of course not. Though this one is complicated and individual, here is my advice: First and foremost, be ready to have the conversation and to offer a sincere apology. And by ready, I mean that you think about what you said, and why you said it. Get over the point of wanting to make excuses or wanting to try to explain the “joke” you were getting at. Instead, ask the person if they got hurt by what you said, and that you are willing to accept that you will not understand why it hurt for the other person. The chats can grow from there, but silence and listening are gold as well. There is no need to glorify yourself afterwards, we all fuck up at times and make people sad. Admit that this is hard. We are all guilty of it.
www.corkpride.com
#CorkPride2021
94
95
Made with FlippingBook - Online magazine maker