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Respect: I defaulted to the stink eye and silent treatment early in our relationship. I had to learn to recognize Dave’s struggles and appreciate his efforts — even when they didn’t work. Trying your best deserves praise, and it’s worth looking for the good things in your spouse and pointing them out. Criticizing is easy, but showing love is so much more productive and fulfilling. Have you also been married for a long time? If so, we’d love to hear how you two stayed together. We hope to have decades more of marriage ahead of us, so you never know when we might need the advice. –David and Irma Bennett
and family changed our relationships for the better, providing an anchor that kept us from drifting apart. Talk It Out: As a young woman, I had a picture in my mind that guys should be mind readers. I eventually learned that wasn’t a realistic expectation; I had to tell Dave what I was thinking and why. Keeping things bottled up until you explode is a recipe for unhappiness, and you’ve got to say what’s on your mind. Just as importantly, you have to listen, even when you disagree.
STAYING SHARP What Neuroplasticity Means for Your Brain
Not long ago, scientists thought we experienced a dramatic drop in our ability to rewire our brains and learn new things after childhood. Fortunately, more recent research has shown that assumption is false. Neuroplasticity, or the power of our brains to adapt and make more neural connections, lasts throughout adulthood. And we all can use our brains’ natural neuroplasticity to benefit our health. You’re probably familiar with neuroplasticity, even if you’ve never heard the term before. Neuroplasticity is why someone with a traumatic brain injury can regain some lost functions — people who lose one sense often experience an improvement in the other four, and we generally become better at things the more we practice them. But while the brain often makes these changes out of necessity, we can also consciously harness this superpower. There are many things experts still don’t understand about human brains or why some people develop neurodegenerative conditions like Alzheimer’s. But an increasing body of evidence suggests that keeping our minds well-fed and active reduces our risk of cognitive decline. People who work to develop their neuroplasticity may also be more flexible and open to new experiences.
Regular exercise has demonstrated positive effects on our neuroplasticity because it
increases the oxygen flow to our brains. Further, the nutrients we provide our
brains matter, so keeping a healthy diet will also benefit your mind. Adequate sleep also improves our cognitive abilities, so if you struggle to get enough hours each night, it’s time to talk to your doctor. Next, neuroplasticity experts recommend getting out of your comfort zone. We all conduct a large portion of our lives on autopilot, doing the same things we’ve always done while barely thinking about them. It’s convenient but not good for our minds or emotional health. Finding ways to tune back in and notice what’s around you through meditation or other mindfulness practices will likely improve your neuroplasticity and overall life satisfaction. Finally, give yourself new challenges and go out of your way to learn. Picking up a new skill, hobby, or language later in life may seem daunting, but it helps keep us sharp. Even brain teasers and puzzles can allow us to give our brains a daily workout. After practicing for a while, you may be surprised at how much better you feel — and think.
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