Breaking the Anger Breaking the Anger Small A cts , Big Shifts Small Acts, Big Shifts Stories of Hope & Healing
S n a pp i n g st ick s did n ’ t e r a s e decade s o f a n ge r , b ut i t nu dged m e to fi n all y b r i n g up t he ab ort i on w i t h my t he r a p i st — som e t hi n g I ’ d a vo ided f or y ea rs . Snapping sticks didn’t erase decades of anger, but it nudged me to finally bring up the abortion with my therapist — something I’d avoided for years.
O ur ab ort i on e xp e r ie n ce w a s a l on g t i m e ag o , like ov e r 30 y ea rs . I k n e w w he n I s a w t he ac t i v i ty li st t ha t b r eaki n g tw ig s wou ld n ’ t so l v e my a n ge r . B ut i t w a s s a t i s f y i n g to d o som e t hi n g . A n d i t w a s hel p f u l to n a m e t he r ea sons a n d p e op le , t he t hi n g s t ha t w e r e s aid , a n d t he w a y w e w e r e tr ea t ed , e v e n t he w a y w e e v e ntu all y b ro ke up . T hi n ki n g ab out w ha t I c ou ld d o to hel p pro ce ss a n d r elea s e t hi s l on g - la st i n g a n ge r . . . W ell , I did n ’ t ha v e a ny big b r ai nstorm or b r eak t h rou gh . B ut t hi s b rou gh t i t top o f m i n d agai n . A n d I decided to t alk ab out i t w i t h my t he r a p i st beca us e I ’ d n e v e r m e nt i on ed i t bef or e . A b ort i on i s j ust su ch a tou ch y t hi n g , e sp eciall y w i t h m e n s a y i n g a nyt hi n g ab out i t , so I did n ’ t r eall y w a nt to g o t he r e . B ut , I w a s surpr i s ed t ha t he s aid ha v i n g e mot i ons af t e r ab ort i on ca n be a t hi n g f or som e p e op le i n cl u di n g m e n a n d w e s h ou ld dig i nto i t . Thinking about what I could do to help process and release this long-lasting anger . . . Well, I didn’t have any big brainstorm or break through. But this brought it top of mind again. And I decided to talk about it with my therapist because I’d never mentioned it before. Abortion is just such a touchy thing, especially with men saying anything about it, so I didn’t really want to go there. But, I was surprised that he said having emotions after abortion can be a thing for some people including men and we should dig into it. Our abortion experience was a long time ago, like over 30 years. I knew when I saw the activity list that breaking twigs wouldn’t solve my anger. But it was satisfying to do something. And it was helpful to name the reasons and people, the things that were said, and the way we were treated, even the way we eventually broke up.
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