Why ?
TALES FROM A SOBER QUEEN BY HEIDI A.
Why stories? Isn’t that self-indulgent navel gazing? That is what I used to think. And I thought my story was unimportant and had nothing to do with my drinking. I had tried to quit many times and had many “whys”. These were always external things that supported the curated version of my perfect self. My children deserved a perfect mom and I was far from it as a drinker. I wanted to be more productive, look better, lose weight, and be like the shiny happy people in some of the trending sobriety groups. But it wasn’t until quitting alcohol came down to saving my life that it clicked for me. It was a hard realization that this was really a life or death situation, but it was also the moment where I was the most kind I have ever been to myself. I realized I was the only why that would stick. But who was this woman I wanted to save? She is the girl and woman who appears throughout my stories. She is worthy of compassion, forgiveness and self-love. But she did not know that until she put down the drink and starting consciously acknowledging the stories of her life. So here we go, delving into all of the things I thought I would never do in search of loving myself for all of my flaws and unique abilities. But also being honest with myself, my own role in my pain and taking radical responsibility for saving her. Maybe you see yourself. Maybe you feel inspired to tell your story, get to know you and fall in love with that person enough to know you are worth saving. Hot Sun. Shame. Abandoned. Studies estimate that as many as one in every five girls will be sexually abused before they are eighteen. We don’t really know because most of us say nothing and it’s not in any statistic, it is buried in the chest of dark family secrets.
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