My life does not feel like one long struggle or filled with drinking challenges, my life is one of complete freedom and joy even on the shittiest of days because I am one of the lucky ones who learnt the science, accepted the wisdom of others and took back control of my life. It is not an endless battle of choices. It is not some mental warfare going on in my mind daily. Life is warfare. Families and relationships can be warfare. Working environments can be warfare. The bloody supermarket on a busy Saturday can feel like warfare but not drinking is not warfare once we make it out of the early days. It is singularly the greatest decision I have ever made, and I view it as such. It has freed up so much of my mind that it is unreal. This week I wrote to a lady from my original class who is still drinking… “ One of the joys of not drinking is how it has freed up my headspace. I no longer spend hours of my time unwittingly thinking about its purchase, consummation or its regret. For me the easiest thing to do was very early on in our course, accept and reach the decision my wine years were well and truly behind. I was addicted to an addictive substance, as are you but I have accepted that fact, and you have not. You are still dressing your addiction up in language and thinking that is untrue, pink and frivolous ; shying away from the realities of this addictive substance that daily robs families and robs beautiful women of life itself ” It pains me that I am 1250 plus days living a life worth living and a lovely lady from my class is still down the rabbit hole, still going around in circles in abject denial of her truth. When I look at the simplicity of my list it seems utterly useless in the face of such a monstrous enemy, but the weird thing is that it works for me, always has and always will and as Matt Haig says “ Hell, if licking wallpaper does it for you, do that, in the absence of universal certainties, we are our own best factory. ” May your Saturday be kind, filled with whatever works for you today as we look skyward and say not today lady, not today. Ladies, please join me in the sober dawn chorus as we say not today lady, not today. Susan Christina Creamer
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