08
THE GREYTON POST
NOV /DECEMBER 2025
A Teetotal Vegetarian in a Land of Braais: Christmas Across Two Hemispheres
In South Africa, however, there’s nowhere to hide. The first time I attended a Greyton Christmas braai, I brought along my trusty vegetarian sausages — made, I might add, from organic lentils and quiet moral conviction. Within seconds, someone eyed them suspiciously and asked if they were bait. Here, Christmas is not an indoor activity. It’s a full-body, outdoor festival of flame, sun, and social stamina. While the rest of the village sizzled their steaks and toasted with something cold and bubbly, I stood in the shade, clutching my sparkling water and hoping my veggie burger wouldn’t dissolve before lunch. The dog looked unimpressed. And yet, there’s something magnificent about a South African Christmas. The sheer exuberance! The tables groaning under salads, mangoes, pavlovas, and conversation. The children darting between sprinklers. The mountains watching on like benevolent grandparents. You can’t help but feel festive, even if your main course once resembled chickpeas rather than a cow.
In the UK, the season is built for introspection, cold evenings, candlelight, and the occasional heated argument about Brexit. In Greyton, it’s built for connection. By the time the sun sets over the Sonderend Mountains, no one cares what you ate, only that you showed up, smiled, and remembered the words to “Silent Night.” Of course, certain adjustments are necessary. I’ve learned to bring a “just-in- case” Tupperware of marinated halloumi, to position myself near the salad table before the carnivores descend, and to accept that explaining “I don’t drink” will be met with the same disbelief as claiming you’ve seen a unicorn in Main Street. But perhaps that’s the gift of living between two Christmases, learning to find joy in both the drizzle and the drought, the nut roast and the braai, the mince pie and the mango. So while my British friends huddle around radiators with their mulled wine, I’ll be here in Greyton, sunscreened, sober, serenaded by cicadas, quietly celebrating a very sunny sort of peace on earth.
A s a British man living in Greyton, I’ve learned that Christmas can be both utterly familiar and profoundly confusing . There are few things more disorienting to a British mind than celebrating Christmas while sweating. Back home, December arrives with all the subtlety of a tax bill. The sky turns pewter, mince pies appear in supermarkets, and everyone develops an opinion about brussels sprouts. By mid-month, the streets smell faintly of damp wool and regret. For me as a teetotal, gluten free vegetarian, Christmas in Britain is an annual exercise in polite evasion: “No, thank you, I don’t drink, yes, even at Christmas. And no, turkey gravy still counts as meat even if made by my mother in law.” But at least in the UK, abstinence has the advantage of camouflage. When everyone’s wrapped in scarves and self- pity, I can hide my delicious nut roast behind a pile of roast potatoes and no one’s the wiser.
Greyton Branch
7 High Street Greyton Consulting Hours: Monday & Wednesday 14:00- 16:00 Friday: 10:00 – 12:00 076 682 5410 Contact all hours:
Greyton Branch
7 High Street Greyton Consulting Hours: Monday & Wednesday 14:00- 16:00 Friday: 10:00 – 12:00 076 682 5410 Contact all hours: 028 212 1551 8 Cemetery Rd, Caledon www.overbergdierehospitaal.co.za
Greyton Branch Greyton Branch
7 High Street Greyton Consulting Hours: Monday & Wednesday 14:00- 16:00 Friday: 10:00 – 12:00 076 682 5410 Contact all hours: 028 212 1551 8 Cemetery Rd, Caledon www.overbergdierehospitaal.co.za 7 High Street Greyton Consulting Hours: Monday & Wednesday 14:00- 16:00 Friday: 10:00 – 12:00 076 682 5410 Contact all hours: 028 212 1551 8 Cemetery Rd, Caledon www.overbergdierehospitaal.co.za
Greyton Branch
Greyton Branch
7 High Street Greyton Consulting Hours: Monday & Wednesday 14:00- 16:00 Dr. Coeleen Boje B.V.S.c Dr. Coeleen Boje B.V.S.c
7 High Street Greyton Consulting Hours: Monday & Wednesday 14:00- 16:00 Friday: 10:00 – 12:00
Dr.Annette Smal B.V.S.c
Dr. Coeleen Boje B.V.S.c
Dr.Annette Smal B.V.S.c Dr.Annette Smal B.V.S.c
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