9 TIPS FOR MAKING BODY LANGUAGE YOUR SUPERPOWER
KARLENE BELYEA, MBA www.karlenebelyea.com
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4 WATCH FACES CAREFULLY TO SPOT MICRO-EXPRESSIONS There are 7 universal micro- expressions, and if you can catch clients or others making them, you can address possible concerns. A micro- expression is a very brief, involuntary facial expression displayed when someone experiences an emotion. They are 1/15-1/25 of a second long – very fast and people cannot fake them. The 7 universal micro-expressions are 1) Disgust – upper lip pulled up, nose crinkled, cheeks raised, 2) Anger – brows low and drawn together, pressed lips, vertical lines between eyes, 3) Fear – brows raised, flat and drawn together, tensed lips, open mouth, whites of eyes showing, 4) Sadness – pout, corners of mouth down, eyebrows down, 5) Happiness – real smile (look for eye wrinkles) verses a fake smile, 6) Surprise – briefest emotion, mouth open, eyebrows up, wide open eyes, and 7) Contempt – one side of mouth is raised. In all of these cases, saying “Maybe I’m wrong here but…” leads to deeper conversations. 5 RECOGNIZE NERVOUS AND SHAME CUES When dealing with clients or coworkers, watch for nervous and shame cues to address them with further explanation. Nervous cues include self-soothing gestures (rubbing their arms, legs, hands, etc.), wringing hands, touching the suprasternal notch (playing with neck, tie, jewelry), cracking knuckles, rubbing fingers and biting our lips. If someone is experiencing shame, they will often
8 LEARN HOW TO SPOT A LIAR If you are concerned that a client or someone else might be lying to you, look for clusters of 3 or more “red flag” behaviors. When questioning someone, watch the eyes. If the blink rate increases and the eyes dart around, dig deeper. Liars will also touch their face, nose, or cover their mouth, almost like their body doesn’t want to tell the lie. A tight-lipped smile or pursed lips can also be a red flag. When facial expressions and body positioning do not match the words, these can indicate possible lies. Some liars will even nod “yes” when saying “no” or vice versa, or use self-soothing gestures). 9 BE AWARE OF CULTURAL DIFFERENCES Keep in mind that different cultures have different body language tendencies. Be aware of different greetings, and let the other person lead if you are unsure. Avoid using any single finger as a gesture – open handed gestures with all fingers together are usually safe. The key to cross-cultural success is to develop an understanding of, and a deep respect for, cultural differences. For good overall body language, show humble confidence with loose arms, good posture, shoulders down, face up, upper body movement and visible hands. Be sure to watch your clients, coworkers, and friends to better understand how they are feeling and what you can do to improve communication. LEARN MORE
touch their fingers to their forehead or cover their mouth or eyes. Clients exhibiting shame cues are often concerned about money. When you see these, be sure to address them with further explanation. 6 USE NODDING STRATEGICALLY Nodding can be a powerful tool when used to encourage people to continue speaking. If you stop talking and nod slowly 3 times, people will start talking again, and you will gain more information. Be sure to nod slowly – if you nod too fast, you look impatient. No one wants to talk to a bobble head! 7 EXPAND YOUR BODY TO INCREASE CONFIDENCE IN IMPORTANT MEETINGS AND INTERVIEWS Numerous studies have shown that when we expand our bodies, we feel more powerful. Power posing is expanding your body to make you feel more confident prior to going into a stressful situation. Try power posing before speaking up for yourself, ending a relationship, quitting a job, giving critical feedback, or asking for help. For important meetings and interviews, try these tips: carry only 1 item so you don’t look disorganized, sit slightly angled at a table if possible (not directly across from the person), power pose for 2 minutes before to increase your confidence, claim your space but don’t be territorial, keep your body “open”, don’t touch your face/hair or fidget, use gestures to strengthen your message, remember that posture breeds success, and don’t purse your lips.
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