God for them in the presence of our children. Again, we shall teach our children the meaning of God’s love by loving them. As parents, we are God’s representatives, especially to little children. The face of God the little child sees is very much like his mother’s. A child may fail to learn many facts, but he is sure to find out the depth and extent of his par ents’ love for him. He will see if we are really in terested in his well-being. It can be shown in what we give him and how we care for him. What we say to him and how we say it also reveals it. The methods of showing it vary according to the situation, yet its certainty must be unquestionable. They need love as much as they need food and shelter. It means more to them than wagon loads of material things. Parents should begin to show that love as soon as the child is born or even before that time. Toddlers need love and so do juniors. The noted anthropolo gist, Montagu, says it is a mistake to think that Junior will grow up to be a decent fellow if we merely pump right information into his head. The most nec essary element of education and right training is love, he says. “ This love must be unconditional love — not offered as a bribe to eat cereal or keep on good behavior. The behavioral sciences have discov ered that the love (or lack of it) that a child receives in his first six years has a tremendous influence on his adult life. Love teaches children to relate them selves to others, a desire that all human beings have all their lives.” As we give out directions, rules, and sometimes punishment during these early years, we seek to wrap them up with tender love. Such love does not mean giving our children everything they want or ask for. To do that could well be an attitude of selfishness, wishing to give them things rather than ourselves and our time. Ours is to be a disciplined love. While occasion ally it may be easier for us to let our children do as they wish rather than spend time in teaching them obedience, that is not showing true love for them. Training them is the kindest attitude and the best for them in the long run. To show an undisciplined love for our children would mislead them for it would misrepresent God’s love for them and us. He does not answer our prayer by giving us all we ask, but only what is best for us. He chastens us, too, in love. Again, it is essential that we seek to convey a right image of love, or our children may see only the false image that is shown by magazines and popular songs. And then they may mistake the false image for the true. To love in action we add explanation. As a child will appreciate the action before he can accept a verbal explanation, we add the teaching when the child can grasp it. While an example in life is seldom misunderstood, 13
WHAT OUR CHILDREN NEED b y G o rdon C h ilv e rs W hat is your secret?” some young married wom en asked Gladys Anderson. “ You have had ten children and each one is a credit to you. What did you do?" "I showed them love and tried to teach them that God loves them,” Gladys Anderson answered. “ Often I have had to say ‘ no’ to their requests, but they know that I have always tried to do the best for them.” Love is the craving of every child as well as of every adults. Our children need to be asured of our love. Much more, they need to be certain of God’s love. While God’s love cannot fail, to have a clear understanding of it is essential. Our children must learn to see it at the earliest possible stage in their life. For while they will not always have parents to love them, the love of God is always available and they will need it as long as they live. So we seek to show them the various ways God has shown His love. This truth is taught more firm ly and more easily the sooner it is started. Our children should learn that lesson from us in the home. First, this will come from our own per sonal response to God’s love as shown to us in Christ. We do this by an acceptance of His offer of life and salvation in Christ. Then, in our day-to-day living, we keep ourselves in the love of God. As parents we enjoy many good things that make for gracious living. To what or to whom do we attribute these things? Our children will be quick to notice if we reckon our cleverness, work or good luck has brought us these benefits. But if we realize that “ every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father” (James 1:17), then we shall make our convictions plain as we thank SEPTEMBER, 1970
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