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Peace of Mind Post July 2024
SILENCE IS GOLDEN
Why Active Listening Beats Talking Every Time
Conversing with others is a constant in our lives. Every day, we hold conversations with our spouses, coworkers, and grocery store checkout clerks. These conversations need to be a two-way street for everyone to communicate with and understand each other effectively. However, many fail to put in the effort or intent to listen to others properly. On July 18, we recognize World Listening Day, and there’s no better time to take a moment to analyze your listening skills and make improvements where necessary. Too often, people are more focused on listening to respond than listening to understand. When we listen to respond, each conversation can feel like a chore. We’ll reply in a manner that allows us to move on with the conversation and onto the next task or activity. When we do this, we never truly understand what the other person is trying to tell us. The meaning of their words gets lost in translation and can negatively affect your relationship. That’s why it’s so important that we listen to understand during every conversation. Listening to understand allows us to build trust and stronger relationships while significantly improving our communication skills.
In our office, it’s critically important that we know and understand precisely what our clients’ goals and concerns are. The best way to learn this is by listening intently. A strategy I like to use is repeating what was said to me back to the speaker. That way, they can confirm or deny if what I said is what they meant, giving me a firm idea of their goals and concerns. It only takes a few seconds and ensures that we’re both on the same page, allowing us to do the best job possible for our clients. While most of us gain the ability to listen from a very early age, it’s still a skill that we can all improve through practice. When we’re not consistently practicing this skill, we start to take the easy way out and listen to respond during every conversation. If you’re doing this behavior regularly, it’s time to focus more on your conversations and practice listening to understand. Through a few simple strategies, you can become the best listener possible, allowing you to improve your relationships and learn more about the people around you. When conversing with others, try to go in without preconceived thoughts or agendas. You don’t want to have a plan regarding what you will say, or you will find yourself listening to respond. Focus on the speaker, give them your undivided attention, and don’t interrupt them. Don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions; keep an open mind. Judging the other person or combating their beliefs will cause the conversation to break down. Listening is a valuable skill that, when refined, will bring plenty of benefits to your life. By listening to understand, we can build stronger relationships and learn more about the most important people in our lives. With a bit of practice, we can all become effective listeners.
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You don’t need ears like Betty the Donkey to be a good listener!
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Caring for someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s is a huge act of love, but it can also be challenging and emotionally draining. The rollercoaster of emotions, from frustration to sadness, is something many caregivers experience. Luckily, there are a few ways you can work to mitigate the emotional stress of caring for a loved one with dementia. Acknowledge Your Feelings While feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or even guilty is normal, bottling up these emotions can lead to burnout. Allow yourself Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster of Dementia Caregiving
Like a spark, some legends flicker and fade, whereas others give birth to a roaring flame that spreads far and wide. The title of Mansa, which means emperor, was the honorific used by rulers of the ancient kingdom of Mali in West Africa. Musa I inherited the title in 1312, after the kingdom’s last ruler, Mansa Abu Bakr II, set out on an ill-fated voyage to explore the Atlantic Ocean and never returned. While his predecessor may have had grand ambitions, Mansa Musa’s legacy would be immortalized by his astounding achievements. The Unknown Kingdom In the early 14th century, Mali was a flourishing kingdom that profited massively from its seemingly bottomless salt and gold mines. Despite the nation’s wealth, it was largely unknown outside of West Africa. This relative anonymity ended in 1324 when Mansa Musa, a devout Muslim, began his 4,000-mile pilgrimage to Mecca. Mansa Musa did not travel alone; 60,000 men, including over 10,000 slaves and 80 camels, each carrying 300 pounds of gold, accompanied him. The Legend Begins Mansa Musa’s legacy was born during his stop at Cairo, then part of the Mamluk Sultanate. According to a description of the visit written just a few years later, Mansa Musa showered the Mamluk courtiers and merchants with gifts of gold, spending and giving away vast swathes of wealth during his stay. So great was his expenditure that the value of gold plummeted in the country and would not recover for over a decade after Mansa Musa’s pilgrimage. Give and Take More than a giver, Mansa Musa was also a builder and conqueror. He annexed the Kingdom of Songhai in West Africa and the city of Gao, where he would later construct a great mosque. He also established the city of Timbuktu, which became famous as a center for Islamic studies. His reputation as a wealthy and generous ruler is still prevalent today, and some claim that he holds the title of the wealthiest man who ever lived! REMEMBERING MANSA MUSA The History of the Wealthy and Powerful African Emperor
Puzzle Time!
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STRIKING A BALANCE Going All in Without Overdoing It If you set out to do something, you have to give it your all. July 26 is All or Nothing Day, reminding us to put forth our best effort and fully commit to our goals. It’s a concept I, and many others, often struggle with. I sometimes joke that I can never have just one cup of coffee — I go all in and make multiple. This all-or-nothing mindset has emerged in many areas of my life. For example, while I’m not currently running, I put everything I had into it when I was. I couldn’t just run 5Ks like most people. I signed up for several half-marathons and an 18-mile trail race. I was training for a marathon but had to throw in the towel due to illness, which reminded me not to push myself too hard. This tendency to take things to the extreme is something I constantly balance. While it’s important to give our all to the things we’re passionate about, it’s equally crucial to listen to our bodies and minds. Overcommitting can lead to burnout, injury, and a lack of enjoyment in the activities we once loved. I’ve learned that there’s a fine line between pushing ourselves to achieve our best and overdoing it to the point of exhaustion. No matter how much we want to, we can’t fully commit to everything. Thus, it’s important to choose the areas where we want to focus our energy and effort. By doing so, we can ensure that we are giving our best without spreading ourselves too thin. All or Nothing Day is a great opportunity to reflect on our goals and how we approach them. It’s a reminder to put our best foot forward and to give our all to the things that matter most to us.
to feel these emotions without judgment and understand that it’s okay to have them. Seek Support You aren’t in this alone — reach out to family members, friends, or support groups who understand what you’re going through. Sharing your experiences and hearing from others in similar situations can offer comfort. Educate Yourself Understanding dementia can help alleviate some of the stress. The more you know about the condition, the better you can anticipate and manage challenges. Many resources are available, including books and online articles, that can provide insight into what your loved one may be experiencing. Set Realistic Goals Trying to do everything perfectly can set you up for disappointment. Celebrate the small victories and understand that setbacks are a natural part of the journey. Take Care of Yourself Make time for activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or simply taking a long bath, these moments can recharge you. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, so taking care of your well-being is paramount! Caring for someone with dementia is a journey filled with challenges, but by taking steps to manage your emotional health, you can find moments of joy and
fulfillment along the way. Remember, asking for help and caring for yourself is okay — you’re doing a great job!
Scrumptious Strawberry Shortcake
Ingredients
• • • • •
2 cups all-purpose flour 2 tsp baking powder
• • • •
2/3 cup milk
1/2 cup heavy cream 2 tbsp granulated sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup butter, softened 1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 cups sliced fresh strawberries
• 1 large egg
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 375 F. Grease an 8-inch round cake pan. 2. In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt. 3. In a large bowl, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add egg and mix until blended. 4. Gradually add dry ingredients to wet ingredients, alternating with milk, beginning and ending with dry ingredients; mix until blended. 5. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake for 25–30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pan before serving. 6. Whip cream and sugar together until stiff peaks form. 7. Arrange strawberries on top of cake and spread whipped cream over top before serving.
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Inside 1
How Active Listening Transforms Communication
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How Mansa Musa’s Splendor Impacted the Ancient World Self-Care Tips for Dementia Caregivers Scrumptious Strawberry Shortcake All or Nothing Day — Focus Your Efforts and Avoid Burnout
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How a Cat Saved an Army Veteran in Need Fluffy’s Heroic Deed Saves a Veteran
Fluffy to the Rescue One fateful day, at around 8 a.m., Ron slipped and fell on his way out of the shower. He landed on
In 2020, Ron Williams, a Korean War veteran in his mid-80s, lived alone. His only lifeline was his Life Alert, a small device designed to alert health care officials if an emergency occurred. That was until he was gifted a black-and-white spotted cat named Fluffy. From the moment they met, it was clear the two would make a perfect pair. But what Ron didn’t know was that he had been given more than a companion — he had been given a savior. Feline Friend While Ron did not have many people to talk to, he did have Fluffy. The two shared mostly one-sided conversations, likely interspersed with the occasional meow. Whenever Ron received a call on his cellphone, he got in the habit of saying, “Ring-a-ding.” While the two shared a deep bond, Ron never considered that Fluffy was actually listening. “I just fell in love with him,” Ron said of Fluffy in an interview with FOX17 in Michigan. As it turned out, Fluffy loved him back.
his arm, which became pinned under him. His Life Alert, which he had relied upon for situations like this, was charging in the other room. His cellphone, his only other means of calling for help, was on the bathroom counter, out of reach. The hours ticked away, and Ron lay in agonizing pain on the bathroom floor. At just past midnight the next day, Ron had an idea. Fluffy had wandered into the bathroom to check on his friend. “Ring-a-ding,” Ron told him, and Fluffy knew to retrieve his phone and bring it to him. Ron was able to call for help in time to save his life. Fluffy’s quick thinking prevented tragedy. This heroic act is a great reminder that our pets care — and listen — more than we may ever give them credit for.
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