BY CHERYL BROWN Online Dating Tales
SELF LOVE, What’s the Big Deal?
“Self-Love is the air beneath the wings of our relationships.” – Elin Stebbins Waldal
M y online dating experience has not been all that bad.
The vetting process is where I have found the crazies (where I would just talk with them on the website and kind of feel them out). I have spoken with a few by telephone. Many I found to be liars as they would forget who I was and what they had told me. This was during COVID, so I found it entertaining. I have only met four of them in person. One was a definite NO. When I saw him, something about
“Love yourself first and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself first
to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball “If you’re looking for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.” -Unknown “No one is going to love you if you don’t love yourself.” – Unknown “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde These are but a few of the many, many quotes, opinions, and articles in existence about self-love. Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D., founder of the founder of The Center, A Place of Hope in Edmonds, Washington, considers self-love the most important on his list of 5 Secrets to Finding Real Love. While the quotes, opinions, and articles are numerous and varied, there is one thing missing from all of them - How to determine if you love yourself enough! For those who are unsure of how much they love themselves, the team at Radiantly Black looked high and low to find just the right vehicle to help you make that determination. We highly recommend the self-love quiz created by Teal Swan, International Speaker and Best- Selling Author. Ms. Teal is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today, having integrated her own harrowing life experience, she inspires millions of people around the world toward truth, authenticity, freedom, and joy. Access the quiz at www.tealswan.com/quiz, (It takes less than 5 minutes.), then contact us on Facebook (Radiantly Black) to let us know your thoughts. We love feedback!
him just didn’t do it for me. Then there was Mr. Nice Guy. He was way too nice, and I suspected some skeletons in his closet. I have remained in contact with the other two: Friend #1 lives in Daytona Beach, and he is so full of himself. He admits that it’s nothing romantic, but he is fun. Friend #2 is busy moving to Europe this summer. I am planning a trip there next April to visit him. I have found that my expectations of the dating process have evolved; now I am looking for a good friend who makes me laugh. The romantic part is there but not at the forefront. My vetting process is kind of like a job interview without the pointed questions. I find that if you listen, you can find out a lot, and of course, don’t trust things to memory. I had one gentleman tell me he is a retired fire fighter from New York City. During our conversation, I asked him how long he had been retired, and he told me he retired in 2000 when he moved to Florida, after his youngest child started high school. But he kept telling me about the personal experiences he had on 9/11; how he had to work extra shifts. We all know that 9/11 was in 2001, and I don’t think that is a date you can be confused about. When I asked him about the dates, he said, “I guess I got my dates wrong.” So why did you tell me about the work you did with 9/11? When I have some info – their name and where they live – I always check county records. It is important to me that what they have told me is correct. I don’t care if they rent or own, but I do care if they are honest. Another gentleman told me he owns his home, and his daughter and her boyfriend live with him. He was kind of bragging about it. He sent me pictures and the pictures had the street number on them. I checked county records and found that the house was in his daughter’s name. So, was she living with him or was he living with her? On his profile it said he had two children, which were girls. After talking with him for a few weeks, he told me about his two sons. Now what’s up with that? I asked him, “So how many children do you have?” He said four. So why did your profile say two? He could not give me an explanation for the discrepancy. What I find is, if you will lie about how many children you have, you cannot be trusted. Again, online dating is fine, but YOUR VETTING GAME MUST BE ON POINT.
–Lajuana
We don’t know enough about Ms. Swan to endorse her, but we thought the quiz provided nearly irrefutable results.
RADIANTLY BLACK
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VOLUME 1 / ISSUE 1
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