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If you are married, what made that one person stand out,
If you are single or when you were single, how would the number of children a woman has impact your decision to date or marry her? » My home boys and I have been discussing this topic a lot lately. It really changed my mindset. At first, I thought – ok no, there’s too much baggage. But now I feel if you truly love someone, meet them at the right time, right place, you’ll overlook that, but there must be boundaries. If she’s still hanging out with baby daddy or living with baby daddy, it won’t work. If there’s still drama with her baby daddy. If you have more than one kid with a particular person, you guys need to figure out to make it work. If you can’t set that boundary. In fact, if she can’t find peace with a man who is the father of her children, I’m not sure she would be the woman for me. » I used to have a mindset of my environment. My environment didn’t really care about those things. It wasn’t until I changed my life and gave my life to Christ, that’s when I really began to understand you have to be accountable for your actions. In that past relationship I went to go and find out if it was my child. I wanted to know because I wanted to be accountable for what belongs to me. Dating – maybe two or three children. I would look at how you treat your children, the boundaries you have established with their daddy, and how things are working with that father, and that would determine if I dated the woman. » Now I’m older, my perception has changed from when I was younger and out there. My parents were divorced, so I wanted one person, the person, and my children to be with one woman and I wanted to actively raise my children. So, I wouldn’t date a woman who had children. » I would never be interested in someone who had children. » I would need her to care for me as I cared for her, without children. Unless there was something so irresistible that I couldn’t restrain myself. » I would be concerned about a person who had dated a woman prior to me. I’m open to it but it would definitely require a conversation. As long as all of the factors are there, I might be willing to date someone who had children. » I tried to date someone who had children, but it was very hard. Their father was in the picture. I applauded him but it just presented all kinds of problems. I think it would depend on whether the father was in the picture. If he was in the picture, I wouldn’t. But if he wasn’t, I might be willing to step into the picture and be the daddy. But I definitely want to have children of my own. Also, I would want her to myself and wouldn’t want another man in the picture.
above all the others? If you aren’t married, how will you know when you find the right person? What will make her/him the right one?
» I was older, starting to get my life together, had gotten into church, got saved, had a new perspective. I met my wife at Sunday school. She didn’t like me. I was kind of popular. I had never liked anyone that didn’t like me. She was very classy. She would change shoes from when she walked through the parking lot. She wanted to bring her best to God. She was well manicured. Since we’ve been married, she keeps the house spotless. She’s a perfect housekeeper. » We were teenagers. We were both in a relationship. I would always look at her. She would eye me, and I would eye her. One day when I was walking with my girlfriend, she just grabbed my arm and I walked away from my girlfriend with the person who is now my wife. But that’s not what attracted me to her. We became really good friends; we had similar backgrounds and similar struggles that we wanted to overcome. Through that we became warm and loving and wanted to care for each other. We did everything together. We became strong. There was no separation. We were locked in; we were just stuck together. There was no fight between the two women. » Not married, I’m still really trying to understand what marriage really means. I love what my parents have and what they’ve shown me. But I have to learn for myself. I’ll know when I’m ready to get married when we are on the same mindset and on the same growth agenda. I think before marriage, we should move in together and put our feet in each other’s shoes and understand each other’s struggles. If you can understand me on all my walks and the way I move, and I can do the same for you, then we should get married. » I don’t think about marriage at my age. I think for me I aspire to accomplish a lot of things. I like to see drive and determination and stability. I’m very close to my mom and dad. I would want to make sure my parents were comfortable with my partner. » When I find that person who invests in me as I invest in them. That’s when I know that that’s a person who I can see a future with. I 100% believe in reciprocated energy. This article will be continued in our Fall 2023 issue, where the group addresses dating outside your race, why a happily married man might cheat on his wife, why men always date younger, and how online temptations have impacted their relationships? You don’t want to miss it!
RADIANTLY BLACK
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VOLUME 1 / ISSUE 1
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