Take a look at our November newsletter!
A Legacy of Love REMEMBERING WHAT MATTERS MOST ON THANKSGIVING
It’s all too easy to take our family members for granted. Every day with those we love is a gift, but we often forget they won’t be here forever. This Thanksgiving, the Bruce family is grateful for the people we spend time with during the holidays and those no longer with us. We’ve recently had a reminder of how precious and short life is. Ashley’s stepfather of 35 years passed away from an aggressive cancer in September 2023. Less than a year before, Gernot was a healthy and strong man in his 80’s. He fixed our wood fence and wheelbarrow, dug a trench for a new well, and engaged in securities research and trading. It seemed there was nothing he couldn’t do. But then his health began to decline, and in December 2022, his doctors diagnosed him with an aggressive sarcoma in his lung. Gernot’s doctors told him there was no hope, but he wasn’t ready to give up and chose to undergo chemotherapy despite growing weakness. In August 2023, he became ill from pneumonia but remained a fighter. Even as the doctors spoke to our family about transitioning Gernot to hospice care, he had one last fight in him. His lungs began to clear up from antibiotics, a miraculous recovery the doctor said he’d only seen two or three times in his career. But unfortunately, other complications came into play. We said goodbye to Ashley’s stepdad on Sept. 2. Gernot was a kind and generous man who accomplished much in his 82 years. Originally from Vienna, Austria, and born in 1941, he saw early hard times as a young boy when his parents sent him to live in the countryside to avoid the war. Still, he rose from the ashes of Europe to become a director at Typographische Anstalt in Wien, which later brought him to America where he held directorial roles at Siemens, Siemens/Nixdorf, and OCE. After retirement, as he traversed the U.S. in his motorhome and motorcycle, he even found time to become a ski instructor, sharing his passion for the slopes with others. In his free time, when he was not busy helping with the rescue dogs, feeding our last-call cats, constantly filling the bird feeders out by the lake, and playing in the stock market, Gernot had a need for speed, whether he was zooming down the mountainside or cruising on one of his trusty motorcycles. Soccer and tennis were also in his repertoire, showcasing his agility and love for the game.
Gernot was an outstanding stepfather who was always there for his family; we would not have been the same without him. We are so sad he’s gone and miss him dearly, but we’re also grateful for the time we spent together. As Thanksgiving approaches, we encourage you to give thanks to the family members who are still here. Tell them how you feel — how much you love them, what they’ve meant to you, and why you’re grateful to have them in your life. Don’t let the important things go unsaid. It’s just as crucial to remember and give thanks for those who are no longer with you. You might honor them by sharing a special memory with your family, placing a picture of them at the table with you, or doing something simple they loved to do. It’s through us that our loved ones can live on. This Thanksgiving, our family will be giving thanks for Gernot, his life with us, and the many memories we shared. –Ashley and Christopher Bruce
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Unwrap the Details of Holiday Visitation
Hang On — The FBI Robbed a Bank?
How Parents Split the Season
The holiday season is almost here! How will you be spending it? For divorced couples with children, the answer will depend on the content of your parenting plan. Holiday visitation is unique and does not follow the residential time-sharing schedule. Family courts understand that holidays are emotional and meaningful times for many people. So, Florida’s default structure is for parents to split holiday time with their children 50/50. In fact, an appellate court found that an uneven arrangement can be an abuse of discretionary power by the judge unless there is proof that an unconventional split will be in the child’s best interests. How parents should equally split the holidays often causes some disagreement, but a few options are standard among parenting plans. First, it helps to understand what the courts define as a holiday. The term doesn’t only encompass occasions like Thanksgiving and Christmas; it includes other times off school, including winter break and summer vacation. One typical arrangement involves alternate holiday sharing. For example, a mother may have the children on Thanksgiving in even years while the father has the same in odd years. Similarly, one parent may have the entire fall break in even years while the other has summer vacation. Typically, plans strive to balance visitation so both parents receive substantial holiday time with the children each year. Another approach involves splitting the holidays themselves. Parents might alternate weeks of visitation during summer vacation, or one might spend time with the children during the first half and the other during the second half. Some plans ensure one parent has the child during the bulk of the day on Christmas but still give the other parent a small amount of visitation time. Other parenting plans might assign specific holidays permanently to each parent. That approach is most common with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. But fixed holidays may also occur when one parent celebrates a holiday and the other does not. For example, suppose the child has one Jewish and one Christian parent. In that case, the Christian parent will typically be with the child on Christmas, and the Jewish parent likely has visitation every Passover. If you have questions about your holiday time-sharing schedule or have had a substantial change in circumstances that require an update to the plan, Bruce Law can help. Call us today to schedule a consultation!
The Story Behind a Mind- Blowing California Raid “This was the largest armed robbery in United States history, and it was committed by the FBI.” That jaw-dropping statement came from Robert Frommer, an attorney representing several hundred people whose safe deposit boxes were emptied during an FBI raid in 2021. The story is wild from start to finish. On that fateful day in March, armed FBI agents stormed a California strip mall and burst into a U.S. Private Vaults bank branch. They searched 1,400 safe deposit boxes and confiscated the contents of many of them — making off with roughly $86 million, plus valuable collectibles like coins, gold, and jewelry. Why would the agency do this? Well, after a two-year investigation, the FBI suspected U.S. Private Vaults was catering to drug dealers and other criminals hiding cash in Los Angeles. So, the agency obtained a warrant and raided the bank to look for proof. And apparently, they found it. After the raid, U.S. Private Vaults pleaded guilty to conspiracy to launder drug money and closed its doors for good. However, that wasn’t the end of the saga. Remember attorney Robert Frommer? Roughly 400 people who kept their money at U.S. Private Vaults hired him to get the contents of their safe deposit boxes back from the FBI. They said they weren’t criminals and wanted their money back. One of those people was Joseph Ruiz, who lost $57,000 in savings during the FBI raid. He filed a lawsuit, claiming the raid was unconstitutional. When the FBI accused Ruiz of making his money through illegal drug sales, Ruiz showed proof of his income, and in August 2021, the FBI agreed to return his funds. However, not every U.S. Private Vaults customer has been so lucky. In September 2022, a judge ruled that the FBI raid was legal under civil forfeiture laws and dismissed the depositors’ class-action lawsuit. An FBI spokesperson also said the agency was putting a process in place to return items to innocent owners, but as of March 2023, at least one person still claimed she hadn’t gotten her money back — even though she wasn’t criminally charged.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
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If this story ever becomes a Hollywood movie, we’ll be first in line at the box office.
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–Ashley and Chris Bruce
Secrets to Stepparenting Success 3 Principles for Positive Relationships
Every stepparent should understand that remarriage can be as monumental an event for children as divorce. While some children quickly and naturally bond with their stepparents, many require time to get used to the change. Since every kid is different, there’s no surefire way to build a connection with stepchildren. But some general principles will increase your chances of success. Patience Don’t try to rush a relationship. Don’t ignore your stepchildren until they reach out, but do attempt to interact with them on their terms. Some kids automatically want to be your friend or spend time with you; others resist. Children process emotions at their own pace, so don’t take their behavior toward you personally. They can also incorrectly perceive questions as hostile, so avoid asking too many at once. Drop your expectations of what your relationship “should” be like and meet stepkids where they are. Authenticity Kids can tell when adults are being fake with them. Even if your intentions are noble, don’t try to be someone you’re not. Stepparents and stepchildren must genuinely get to know each other if they want to build a lasting relationship. Be kind to your stepkids in ways that are authentic to you, not what you think they want or expect. And
remember that whether or not you share an interest in their hobbies matters much less than how much you’re interested in them.
Respect Courtesy is a two-way street. It’s reasonable to expect your stepchildren to respect you, but they deserve the same in return. Give them privacy, adhere to their boundaries, and support their interests. Crucially, do not bad mouth your stepchildren’s other biological parent. Many children feel they are “betraying” their other parent by forming a relationship with their stepparent. If you demonstrate you won’t try interfering with the original child-parent bond, your stepchildren are more likely to come around and welcome you into their lives. Finally, remember that children cannot control their parents’ decision to remarry or combine households. It’s natural for them to have a lot of big feelings and even be somewhat afraid. A defensive, angry, or withdrawn stepchild does not make you a lousy stepparent. Leave the door open, and most children will eventually walk through it.
Have a Laugh!
Stuffed Pepper Soup
Inspired by TasteOfHome.com
Ingredients
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2 lbs ground beef
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2 tsp salt
6 cups water
2 tsp beef bouillon granules
1 28-oz can tomato sauce
1 tsp black pepper
1 28-oz can diced tomatoes, undrained
2 cups cooked long-grain rice Chopped fresh parsley (optional)
2 cups chopped green peppers 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
Directions
1. In a Dutch oven over medium heat, cook beef until no longer pink, breaking it into crumbles; drain. Add beef back to the pot and stir in all ingredients except the cooked rice. Bring to a boil. 2. Reduce heat. Simmer uncovered until peppers are tender, about 30 minutes. 3. Add cooked rice and simmer, uncovered, for about 10 minutes. If desired, sprinkle with chopped fresh parsley.
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The Bruces Embrace Love and Loss on Thanksgiving page 1
Did the FBI Really ‘Steal’ $86 Million? ‘Tis the Season for Co-Parenting: Holidays After
Divorce page 2
Strategies for Successful Stepparenting Stuffed Pepper Soup page 3
Transform Your Cooking With Chef-Endorsed Kitchen Hacks page 4
Cook Like a Pro Chef-Tested Hacks to Enhance Your Culinary Creations
Protect Your Fingertips
Chefs are artists and scientists, honing their skills in the kitchen to create culinary masterpieces. These experts have developed a range of kitchen hacks to help home chefs elevate their cooking game. Whether it’s enhancing flavors, saving time, or ensuring consistent results, these tips can make your culinary experiences more enjoyable and successful. Bon appétit! Hold the Cork Before throwing the cork away after finishing a bottle of wine, a clever hack popularized by Chef Motokichi on Instagram is to slide the cork beneath the handle of a pot lid. Not only does this make the top easy to grab, but it also prevents your hand from coming in contact with the hot handle! Because sparkling wine corks tend to be a bit thicker in size, they’re best suited for the job. Peeling Garlic Made Easy Executive chef Nicholas Poulmentis of Akotiri in New York recommends thinking ahead when preparing garlic. The night before you cook, place garlic cloves in a container filled with water, and the next day, the skin will peel right off without a knife or tool. Chilled Plastic Wrap Is plastic wrap often more of a struggle than a help? Chef Chaz Eicke of The Salad House in New Jersey has a genius tip: Chilling your plastic wrap in the refrigerator will help prevent it from creasing and sticking together.
Sydney Willcox, culinary instructor at The Brooklyn
Kitchen, recommends tucking your fingers into your palm on your nondominant hand while chopping vegetables and herbs. If you use your knuckles to guide your knife, you won’t ever accidentally cut your fingers!
Slice Meat the Right Way
Did you know that slicing meat with the grain can lead to a tough and chewy entree? Willcox has another tip for that! She recommends always slicing meat, even tender filet mignon, against the grain. Creating restaurant-quality meals in the comfort of your own home has never been easier. These tips can help take your cooking skills to the next level while reducing time, frustrations, and errors!
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