Adult Grief After a Traumatic Death

You received daily physical contact to which you have become accustomed: the pat on your shoulder when you worked in the kitchen, the hand on your elbow when you went down the stairs, the smoothing of your hair, the straightening of your tie. The degree of pain and suffering that follows a death is directly related to the nature of the relationship between the survivor and the person who died. Being bereaved means that you are no longer a wife, husband or partner, but a widow or widower. The words sound harsh and take a while to adapt to. Adjusting to the loneliness of being single can be a major problem, because as you get older it

can be more difficult to make new friends. When your partner died, you lost a best friend, lover, primary confidant and perhaps co-parent. You lost such an essential part of yourself that you may feel incomplete. Numerous financial situations occur following the death of a spouse or life partner. Financial matters are not always in order. When the

You may feel incomplete.

spouse who died was the money manager and financial planner, the surviving spouse may not be aware of the location, amount, and distribution of resources. Even when financial matters have been attended to, they may be shockingly insufficient. Financial complications of insufficient resources can produce a variety of emotions in the spouse survivor including anxiety, fear, shame, and anger. Emotional energy can be completely depleted by the economics of survival. One of the most strenuous challenges after the death of a spouse or life partner is making decisions alone. Many decisions that need to be made may revolve around finances. It is necessary to realize that during the first year following the death of your loved one, you are under a great deal of stress and may not make the best decisions. It

is important that whenever possible, postpone making major life-altering decisions. Avoid major changes such as selling your house, moving, quitting a job, or re-marrying. If you must make a major change because of a changed financial status, seek the advice of a knowledgeable family member, friend, or professional.

Seek help from family, friends and professionals.

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