Adult Grief After a Traumatic Death

You may feel like you are under attack or have experienced hurtful remarks from the media or family members of an innocent victim’s family. You may battle with the grief of losing your loved one and anger at your loved one who made the choice to drive impaired. You may acknowledge the part your loved played in their own death but also may have concerns about where they obtained the substance they were impaired with or a vehicle to drive. You may need answers to questions about exactly what happened, or you may wonder why. Your feelings and questions are valid. Search out those who are supportive and helpful as you go through this healing journey. Your feelings are valid. Provide Supportive Assistance “Call me if there’s anything I can do” is a meaningless offer, though well intended. It is difficult to ask for help, especially when one is overcome with grief, anxiety, and confusion. Instead, say something like, “I imagine your lawn needs some care. May I come by on Saturday and do some work?” Ask to take a meal to the home. Offer to care for pets. Close friends may offer to clean the house. Someone might offer to drive children to their various activities or even take them on outings to get them out of the home for a while. You may believe that removing images and reminders of the loved one is a good idea so that those who are grieving won’t see and be hurt by reminders. On the contrary: By removing treasures that remind them of their loved ones, it may signal that you are uncomfortable with their grief or trying to forget their loved one. Photographs and keepsakes give the griever an Offer to help in specific ways. How to Help Others Impacted by a Traumatic Death

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