Adult Grief After a Traumatic Death

The fact that someone decided to hit your loved one and then flee the scene without rendering aid may be horrific to you. Questions like, “Would my loved one have lived if medical personnel were called?” or “How could someone do something like this?” may cross your mind. Know that you are not alone. Try to reach out to others who have gone through something similar for support. Find people and groups, such as Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), who will advocate on your behalf and try to find helpful resources. Grief and Gender Differences When looking to your spouse, partner or other family member

to share in the grief process, remember that everyone grieves differently. Women and men are different. The manner in which they cope can also be different. Because of these differences in coping styles, family members are sometimes unable to communicate effectively and as a result, are not always supportive of one another.

Men and women

often cope differently.

Many of these differences come from social expectations and how we are raised. Men are often taught to focus on tasks or jobs, while women are often taught to focus on family and relationships. Women may deal more directly with feelings, while men may focus on the details of the situation in order to understand them. It is important to point out that some men grieve more openly, and some women aren’t as open with their grief experiences. Each person is unique, so every grief process is unique. A time frame for working through grief is not definite or predictable and can be different for men and women. The suddenness of the death, the age of the person killed, the degree of violence to the body, and the quality of the relationship all affect how and how long we grieve.


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