Interpersonal Effectiveness DigiBook V54

D I G I B O O K INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS JULY 2017 | VERSION 55

TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION ............................................................................................................ 3 TEAM BUILDING ........................................................................................................... 4 TUCKMAN MODEL OF TEAM BUILDING ................................................................ 4 INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS............................................................................ 6 LAW OF NATURE .......................................................................................................... 8 LINK MODEL ................................................................................................................ 10 5 C’S OF PRINCIPLE AND CODE OF CONDUCT.................................................... 11 CONFLICT MANAGEMENT....................................................................................... 11 9 BOX MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS ........................................ 16 CONCLUSION............................................................................................................... 17

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INTRODUCTION

Developing interpersonal skills is of vital importance in today’s world. In order, to be successful at job, you need to deal with people effectively without creating conflicts. While working in a team, you should be able to take advantage of the knowledge, experience and

proficiency of team members. Understanding relationships profoundly helps you to learn the importance of relationships with people around you. It assists you to deal with people effectively and create symbiotic relations with them.

Meaning Interpersonal effectiveness revolves around working with people. It is related to the interactions between individuals. It involves supporting along with encouraging others, giving and accepting criticism as well as negotiation. Interpersonal skills constitute listening, considering others opinions and being able to successfully communicate your views to a particular group. Interpersonal skills analyze a person’s ability to operate within the organizations, through social networking. Interpersonal skills prove effective for different aspects in leadership, networking and teamwork. The diagram below states the same:

LEADERSHIP Mentoring Decision-making

TEAM WORK Mentoring Group work Decision-making Delegating Collaboration

Delegating Motivating others

NETWORKING Self-confidence Network building Effective communication

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

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TEAM BUILDING Today’s scenario demands that organizations encourage employees to work in teams. As an individual, you may be an excellent performer but your ability to collaborate can bring about true excellence for your organization. When you work in teams, you exploit the myriad cognitive and technical faculties of all team members thus bringing about best results. The current organizations demand team players and not individual aces. All said and done, teams may not be the best option at all times example, while working on routine and simple tasks. These tasks do not require the employees to co-ordinate with others as tasks can be dealt alone. However, team playing is usually the best approach when:  No single person has the right set of competencies, skills, knowledge, expertise and perspective to do the job  Individuals are required to work together on a task that requires high degree of interdependence  The goal to be achieved presents a unique challenge; a self managed team can often handle unique challenges as and when they occur Tuckman model of team building Leadership of teams needs the perception to analyze the stage which requires development and take necessary actions in moving the team forward. The Tuckman model is easy to understand and an old model, but it is very helpful.

Forming

Storming

Norming

Performing

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Characteristics of each stage

Stage I

Stage II

Stage III

Stage IV

Criteria

Forming

Storming

Norming

Performing

Others/

Own objectives

Focus

Processes

Performance

Problems

Trust only leader

Trust the processes

Trust the people

Trust

Assess leader

Relationships

None/Distant

Conflict

Mechanistic

Synergistic

Criticism

Covert

Overt

Productive

Comfortable

Decision making

Fragmented

Thrashing

Processed

Natural

Predictability

Politics

Volatile

Systematic

Anticipation

Role understandin g

Ignorance

Ambiguity

Clarity

Intuitive

Products

Individual

Undesirable

Wooden

System

According to rules

According to need

Knowledge

Poker playing

Packets

Individual effort

Following rules

Achieving flow

Performance

Working out

Type of interventions

Stage I

Stage II

Stage III

Stage IV

Intervention

Forming

Storming

Norming

Performing

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Set objectives

Resolve conflicts

Facilitate processes

Overview

Coach

Leaders direction Support needed

High

High

Low

Low

Low

High

High

Low

Individual tasks

People interactions

Task interactions

Team self development

Leader focus

Observe/

Persuasion style

Tell/Push

Sell/Consult

Listen/Advise

Support

Leader provide links

Team interaction

Facilitate relationships

Facilitate team processes

Dynamic grouping

Summary/

Self- development

Individuals

Relationships

Processes

Feedback

INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS Johari window

It is imperative to undertake self analysis to increase awareness. Johari window helps to carry out self assessment and discover perceptions that people have about us. The Johari window is an easy and valuable model which helps in people development. It makes us aware about ourselves by exploring our positive and negative sides. It can also help in building relationships with other teams.

Johari region ‘Arena’ depicts the area of free activity. It displays the person’s behaviour, attitude, feelings, emotions, knowledge, experience, skills, views, etc which is known to the person himself as well as the others. It is essential to develop

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this area of free activity by revealing one’s thoughts, ideas, etc. as well as building and ensuring trust. People can develop the most in this region.

Known to self

Unknown to self

Feedback

Arena

Blind spot

Facade

Unknown

Johari region ‘Blind spot’ depicts the area where people know a person but that person is unaware about himself. This area may also be referred as the negligence of the person himself or matters in which he is deceived. Those people who are thick skinned may indulge in having a broader blind area. This blind spot can be reduced if the person takes regular feedbacks from others. As a result, arena region of this person increases. He becomes more aware about himself. People can develop in such area if regular communication and feedbacks are conducted. Johari region ‘Closed’ depicts the area where a person knows everything about self but hides most of the things from others. This concealed side of the person constitutes his feelings or any information which he does not reveal to others. This hidden region may also comprise of fears, secrets, unrevealed intentions etc. It is understood if a person does not disclose certain private information. However, if he

keeps a lot of information to himself without sharing it with others, people development cannot take place. People may be unaware and uncertain of potential of such a person. Hence the person should start revealing

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his information, this process can occur best through self disclosure. This enables him to move higher in the organization.

Johari region ‘Dark’ depicts the area where a person’s feelings, data, skills, abilities etc are neither known to him nor to others. Younger people or people who lack self confidence usually fall in this area. People development cannot happen in this region as none of the parties are aware of the person’s qualities. A coach can be of great help in this region as he helps the person to discover and develop his hidden abilities.

Advantages of interpersonal effectiveness

Network

Get job done early

Build teams

Support

More information

Trust

Doesn’t feel lonely

Reduce stress

High performance

Growth

LAW OF NATURE The law of nature model consists of different phases. These phases are based on the stages involved in farming. The model explains how these phases are applied to our day to day work life; helps in achieving interpersonal effectiveness.

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Tilling

Phase I

Sowing

Phase II

Nurturing

Phase III

Weeding

Phase IV

Harvesting

Phase V

 Phase I Tilling: This is the initial phase where one has to do background work to build great relations.  Phase II Sowing: There are different kinds of people in the organization. Here, the decision is made with what kind of people you want to make relations.  Phase III Nurturing: In this phase, the relationships are nurtured. It is taken to the next level. Effective relationships are fostered with the people.  Phase IV Weeding: There are some relations who eat you up and you don’t realize it. Such relations are to be eliminated.  Phase V

Harvesting: Don’t blame anyone for what is happening to your relationship with others. One should take measures to improvise it.

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LINK MODEL The interpersonal effectiveness can help in building good relationships at work and work efficiently. There are various ways of dealing with people without creating any conflicts. LINK is a model which comprises of the following factors which will lead to increasing the interpersonal skills.

L: Listening

I: Initiating

N: Negotiating

K: Knowing

 Listening

 Non-verbal attending  Asking open ended questions  Paraphrasing  Reflective feelings

 Initiating

 Making observations  Expressing thoughts  Expressing feelings  Being direct about your goals and needs

 Knowing

 Background  Attitude of the person  Goals and needs of the other person

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 Negotiating  Preparing for negotiation  Collaborating to negotiate  Developing and effective attitude

5 C’S OF PRINCIPLE AND CODE OF CONDUCT

C 1 Commitment

C 2 Competence

C 3 Courage

C 4 Creativity

C 5 Character

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Clashes of thoughts and ideas are bound to occur in a ‘thinking’ organization. Conflict is thus a sign that the employees are thinking differently, brainstorming and trying to contribute to the organization. Conflict,

traditionally, is considered harmful, causing hostility and loss of organizational productivity. This is untrue. Conflict by itself is neither good nor bad. The negative outcomes thus seen are effects of improper conflict management and not the conflict itself. In fact, engaging in conflict can have positive effects on organizations. True leaders know how to employ conflicts to bring about innovation and take sound decisions. These leaders have expertise in adapting to situations with agility and perfection.

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Conflict management model We operate from a single or a combination of ego states like parent, adult and child. Based on these combinations people function from four different leadership

positions in life. These are:  I’m not OK – You’re OK  I’m OK – You’re not OK  I’m not OK – You’re not OK  I’m OK – You’re OK

In the matrix below, the five leadership styles revolve around these five positions.  The teddy As the name describes he/she is loved by people around and believes in developing relationships with others. He/she enjoys being around people and seeks appreciation. A teddy leader is someone who maintains good relations with his/her team members, keeps them happy, likes it when he/she is praised and admired. He/she gets disturbed when corrected or not acknowledged. He/she may go out of his way to be in people’s good books. A teddy leader tends to lose focus on task in his hunger of acceptance. He/she operates from ‘I’m not OK - You’re OK’ position and is therefore, insecure in nature. A feedback needs to be given to teddy along with training, coaching and counselling. This will help in development of the teddy.  The turtle He/she operates from ‘I’m not OK – You’re not OK’ position. He/she is negative about the world around him and is filled with self doubt. He/she has no goals, aims and objectives. He/she lacks the energy too. He/she displays classic characteristics of a turtle i.e. he/she withdraws and gets into a ‘shell’ the moment he feels attacked or inadequate to handle a situation. He/she is typically slow and lethargic in nature. Hence counselling of turtle is necessary. He/she must be given opportunities to develop himself/herself.

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OWL “I’m OK, you are OK”

SHARK “I’m OK, you are not OK” While dealing with pressure, the shark cares nothing about relationships but will do anything to win. Their purpose is to satisfy their own needs by any possible means. Their behaviour is aggressive and they may use verbal attacks or manipulation.

The wisest way of dealing with pressure is to adopt the behaviour of the owl. Owls deal with pressure or conflicts by collaborating. This explains that both parties work together with the aim of exploring a mutually satisfying solution. The aim is to be in a win–win situation.

Foxes deal with challenges by trying to find a compromise. They are willing to sacrifice some of their goals while convincing others to give up theirs.

TEDDY BEAR “I’m not OK, you are OK”

Teddy bear wants to be liked, pampered and to maintain the relationships. Hence, they let the other person have their way. It is difficult for them to deal with pressure. In a cross culture situation teddy bears tend to believe or tell that other cultures are better than their own.

TURTLE “I’m not OK, you are not OK” Turtles do not deal with pressure directly, they try to avoid them. If they can physically leave the situation, they will. However, if they can't leave, they will try and avoid it or refuse to talk about it. When confronted with pressure, turtles will abandon their own goals and relationships and display passive behaviour, without getting the problems resolved.

 The shark He/she operates from ‘I’m OK – You’re not OK’ position. He/she is sharp, aggressive and competent. He/she dominates people around him/her and attacks people who he/she perceives as incompetent. He/she is well aware of his potential but tends to disregard others. He/she is highly task oriented and

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focusses on results, but he/she is low on relationships. He/she finds it difficult to maintain positive relationships and is often disliked by others. Feedback to shark should be given, the moment he/she fails. Training, coaching, counselling as well as mentoring should be performed, in order to develop the shark. If the manager is a teddy and the subordinate is a shark, then shark will eat up teddy and relations cannot be built. If both the manager as well as the subordinate is a shark, then people development takes place.  The owl He/she is the ideal leader and operates from ‘I’m OK - You’re OK’ position. He/she is balanced i.e. he/she maintains a good relationship with people around him/her and is result oriented at the same time. He/she values others opinion and judgment and is well aware of his/her own potential. An owl is someone who takes both the organization and its people ahead.  The fox As the nature suggests he/she is manipulative and conniving. He/she is extremely cunning and tries to come to conclusion by compromising. Feedback to fox should be given in presence of a manager who is senior to fox. Relations cannot be created. Existing relations also tend to break when foxes are around.

Conflict management styles  Avoidance

The (1, 1) style is the hands off approach, also called avoidance. A neutral stance is retained at all costs. Pulling out/hiding behind walls of insulation reduces the necessity for handling circumstances that would lead to conflict.

 Accommodating The (1, 9) style, also called accommodation, is excessively person oriented. Disagreements

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are smoothened over or ignored so that surface harmony is maintained in a state of peaceful co-existence .

 Compromising The (5, 5) position represents the willingness to compromise. Compromise, negotiating and middle ground positions are accepted so that neither party wins or loses. Adjustment and tradeoffs lead to workable rather than best solutions.

High

9, 9

1, 9

ACCOMMODATION Disagreements are smoothened over or ignored so that surface harmony is maintained in a state of peaceful co-existence

COLLABORATION Valid problem solving takes place with varying points of view objectively evaluated against facts, emotions, reservations and doubts are examined and worked through

WILLINGNESS TO COMPROMISE Compromise, bargaining and middle ground positions are accepted so that no one wins, nor does anyone lose. Accommodation and adjustments lead to workable rather than best solutions

5, 5

FORCING Conflict is suppressed through authority – obedience approach. Win – lose power struggles are fought out, decided by the highest common boss or through third party arbitration

AVOIDANCE Neutrality is maintained at all costs. Withdrawal behind walls of insulation relieves the necessity for dealing with situations that would arouse conflict

1, 1

9, 1

Low

Concern for production

High

 Forcing The (9, 1) approach is called forcing. Here the conflicts/disagreements are repressed by authority - obedience approach. Win - lose authority battles are fought out, determined by the highest common boss or through third party arbitration .

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 Collaborating The optimum style for reducing conflict is the (9, 9) approach. Effective problem solving takes place with varying points of view objectively evaluated against facts, emotions, reservations and doubts are examined and worked through.

Conflict most often occurs when ideas, values and goals of an individual clashes with another. While striving for conflict resolution in teams, we find that different people display different behavioural styles.

9 BOX MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Good human being, ineffective manager (Country club manager)

Team leaders, high chances of promotion (Team manager)

Faces lots of emotional pressure

Relationship as well as task compromised, performance also compromised (Middle of the road manger)

Result oriented but results are around the

Easy go, manages relationship somehow but can’t manage task

boundary, can’t handle critical conflicts

Autocrats, gets increment but no promotion (Produce/perish manager)

No performance (Impoverished manager)

Hard work, personal life problems, struggle no appraisal

Low

Task behaviour

High

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CONCLUSION Organizations need high performance teams to survive in today’s highly competitive

world. Such teams are characterized by leaders who inspire and not by managers who instruct. Emotional intelligence is the trademark quality of a leader who also nurtures his team members to imbibe these

competencies to be truly effective. For personal effectiveness, individuals need to be aware of their personal mission, values and goals and align them with those of the organization. For interpersonal effectiveness, individuals need to analyze and evaluate their relationships in both personal and professional lives and they need to be efficient in resolving conflicts too.

References: www.reuvenbaron.org, www.books.google.co.in, www.catalystcoaching.info, www.nps.gov, www.wikipedia.org, www.humanresources.about.com, www.who.int, www.teamtechnology.co.uk, www.teambuildinginc.com, www.annacairo.com, www.ald-inc.com, www.teamtechnology.co.uk/tuckman.html, www.humanresources.about.com, www.who.int, www.teamtechnology.co.uk, www.annacairo.com, www.ald-inc.com

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