Scotwork's Tales from the Table 2020

A chronological collection of our 2020 blog posts, Scotwork’s year-end review captures all of the emotion, concern, hope, and false confidence that we felt during a year unlike any other.

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2020 in Hindsight by Brian Buck

I recently came across a meme that stated, “I’m beginning to think that the saying ‘hindsight is 20/20’ was actually a message from a future time traveler that we completely misunderstood.” I had to laugh at that one. The reality is that we can never really have a full perspective of our situation until we’re past it, and I know that many of us are very happy to have 2020 in hindsight. But before we completely put it in our past, it’s worth reflecting on it to understand and appreciate its lasting impact on us all. This year’s holiday book is unique. First off, it’s being distributed digitally. With everyone hunkered down in their remote work environments, it just seemed to make more sense to send it out over the interweb than to physically deliver it. Secondly, it’s an interesting retrospective of the year that no one envisioned. We’ve republished each of our blog posts in chronological order. Reading them from start to finish, you can sense the emotion, the concern, the hope, and the false confidence that we all felt during that time. It’s a sobering yet comforting view into the year that we shared. For us at Scotwork North America, 2020 was intended to be the year when we would celebrate our 20th anniversary as a company in the United States and Canada. I was personally excited because it was my first full year as CEO, after taking the reins as interim CEO halfway through 2019. Our team of talented negotiation consultants was excited to build upon the important work that we were doing for our clients. Then . . . COVID-19. Our mission of transforming the way the world negotiates came into 20/20 focus in 2020. The sudden shutdown of the US economy created immediate and pronounced stressors on the hundreds of organizations that we support. We had entered The Age of Disruption: Deals were being renegotiated, postponed, or completely broken. Emotions ran high and we witnessed a tremendous amount of conflict as our clients struggled to resolve it efficiently and effectively. In order to help our community adapt to this “new normal” — learning

to create mutually valuable deals while building and maintaining strong relationships — we hosted free webinars for any company dealing with the impacts of COVID-19. Thousands of participants tuned in as we delivered critical advice on rising through hyper-uncertainty, building confidence and trust at a time of disruption, and, of course, continuing to gain more valuable deals. They learned how to navigate the intricacies and pitfalls of negotiating via email within their new, mandated virtual workspaces. And they even acquired skills for not just how to get by, but also for how they could actually take advantage of our “new normal” to produce profitable, consistent results. Our work is not done. The Age of Disruption is not over. And transforming the way people negotiate seems more important now than ever before. As we look forward to 2021, we’re hopeful that we’ll beat the pandemic. We’re hopeful that organizations will continue to innovate, finding ways to recover and thrive. We’re hopeful that we’ll come together as a country and focus on what unites us instead of what divides us. We’re confident in our ability to continue to transform negotiators in a manner that will help them get through their conflicts efficiently and effectively. Thank you, 2020, for the focus that you brought. Now, go away! Here’s to a safe, healthy, and prosperous 2021 for everyone.

ILLUSTRATION & EDITORIAL TEAM Every week our blog posts are illustrated and edited by a very talented team specializing in making us look good. Our Illustrator is Ben Risbeck and our Editor is Steven Chean.

Ben Risbeck

Ben Risbeck, a seasoned illustrator and designer with 17 years of experience in the entertainment industry and corporate America, now pursues the ultimate quest, writing and illustrating original stories his two young daughters can enjoy. He can either be found hunting for fossilized shark teeth on the Chesapeake Bay with his girls or in the kitchen whipping up crazy breakfast creations. Follow his journey on Instagram @benrisbeck Steven Chean spends the better part of his waking hours fixated on the music behind the message. It’s an obsession that’s shaped both his career and his life. Whether interviewing Ice Cube, editing copy you’ve enjoyed, crafting unforgettable marketing campaigns, or shaping identities of Fortune 500 companies (not to mention businesses of significantly smaller fortunes), Steven has a way of tapping into the unmistakable rhythms that make brand voices sing. Follow Steven’s work online at stevenchean.com. Steven Chean

Brian Buck CEO, Scotwork North America

year that was unlike any other. Here’s what they had to say . . . 2020 REFLECTIONS

As 2020 came to a close, we asked our team to share the lessons they learned from a

Sandy Sbarra “When people or companies are significant, unanticipated hardsh and creativity kick in, enabling th and reinvent themselves in a cha Ananda Laberge

Jessica Day “In 2020 I learned that compassion, adaptability, and perseverance can lead you to success, no matter what situation you find yourself in. As much as we want to be able to have total control over our present and future, the only thing that we can truly control is how we show up every day. Our team showed up with these critical qualities and I am grateful to find myself in an environment that encourages innovation.”

Randy Kutz “In 2020 I have learned that everyone processes challenges and change in different ways because of the context that they find themselves in when external events disrupt. Even though we can all talk about a common event, we color the event with our own unique, personal, and important experiences. I have learned to listen with greater acuity and appreciation for the people side of business.”

“I’ve always thought of m test of that! This was the I look at 2020 as a test ye 24/7 now that I’ve tempo on my emotional state. I b Gaet “2020

Jerry Langlois “Who would have expected that the world would turn upside down in 2020?! Here is something that I learned early on in business and in life: ‘It’s not what happens to you that matters, as much as what you do with it. That’s what matters most!’ I believe that everyday life is a gift, and what we do with it is our gift back!”

Mille Daivs “My brother has a tattoo that quotes Frederick Douglass: ‘If there is no struggle, there is no progress.’ I think that is a perfect sentiment for 2020. Our team had many challenges this year, and we still found ways to support each other, adapt to change, and embrace the struggle.”

Julie Shen “2020 has taught us so many lessons, whether we wanted to learn them or not. As the year began, I had objectives set out for myself, as many people did. But as things drastically changed, I discovered that with a reset and change of attitude, I could still meet my objectives but had to be creative in my strategies. It would have been easy to fall into Netflix heaven and ‘wait it out,’ but life kept happening and constant readjustments kept me grounded and optimistic.”

loneli chan from contr aware is a v react

Mike Saporito “2020 has taught me how essential it is to be adapt- able in all areas of life. This year has forced companies and individuals to be put in unfamiliar or uncomfortable positions, and how they deal with those is what is most important. While it has been a tough year for all, I think there is a lot of good to take out of it.”

Rich Waldrop “I learned that we were all able to transition to the virtual training/ consulting world very quickly and seamlessly, and that the technology is amazing. Although it does not give the same ‘feeling’ as a live course does in some aspects, it gives a different ‘feeling’ in others. The virtual world is here to stay and will be a ‘disruptive technology’ for the future — meaning that it will positively change the way we do business going forward in many ways.”

Michael Roche “I learned two important lessons in 2020: If you believe in the value of what you offer, nothing can stop you. I also learned that in order to grow, you must be willing to innovate.” Susan Boisvert

e subjected to hips, their resilience hem to preserve anging world.”

“Although 2020 has been a stressful year and we’ve all been placed in situations that we didn’t ask for and experienced hardships we never imagined, I’ve learned to accept the things I cannot change, to have the courage to change the things that I can, and to pursue knowing the difference between the two. Your perspective changes everything.” Giulio Zanolla “One of the biggest lessons of 2020, for me, has

John Leehman “In 2020 I learned that every member of our team is capable of being stretched to new competencies. It was a pleasure to work with a team that made sacrifices without complaint, in order to serve our clients.”

myself as being able to pivot at the direst of times, and 2020 was a sure year when I learned a new level of resiliency, and not only in business. ear: a test on my marriage (turns out I like being with my husband orarily retired my road-warrior status), a test on our family, and a test bid you adieu, 2020, and thank you for all that you have taught us.” tan Pellerin

0 was a year like no other. It brought us sadness, iness, worries, sorrows, fears, challenges, and nges. It also brought us an opportunity to learn it. I purposely focused on things that I can rol. Mindfulness allowed me to be present and e that life didn’t happen to me or us. Nobody victim. Life just happens! It’s how we choose to t to events that makes a difference.”

Jill Campen “In 2020 I learned that the work of Scotwork is mission driven and purposeful — to truly transform the way the world negotiates. I am applying this mission with clients, colleagues, and family. Transformation is so important — toward collaboration and away from the focus on winners or losers.”

been that we are more adaptable than we could have imagined. Changing the way we do things, in business and in personal life, out of sheer necessity turned out to be overall less painful, more accessible, and more effective than we could have anticipated.”

Ignorance Is Bliss...

2020 started with a lot of hope and optimism. It was to be a celebration for Scotwork as we marked our 20th anniversary here in the United States and Canada. Little did we know, the celebration would be short-lived and our higher purpose was about to come into focus.

Top 5 Things to Make Every Deal Better by Brian Buck

Welcome to 2020! It’s Scotwork’s 20th anniversary here in North America. While Scotwork has been a global presence for 45 years, we launched operations here in the US/Canada in 2000. During that time, our skilled negotiators and consultants have helped thousands of dealmakers to not only improve their deals, but also strengthen relationships and create more value for all involved. As such, we want to start off your year of dealmaking right, with 5 things you need to do to make every deal better. #1 - Prepare! Benjamin Franklin (and countless other smart people) said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Nowhere is this adage more applicable than at the negotiating table. Not to sound trite or obvious, but the reality is that most dealmakers don’t take time to prepare. Instead, they prefer to “wing it.” Typically,

that’s because they’re either overly confident in their abilities or they just don’t know how to prepare. Regardless of the reason, skilled negotiators love the unprepared; their sheer unpreparedness affords skilled negotiators endless opportunities to extract value. #2 - Check Your Ego At the Door Ego can derail a negotiation. When our egos come into play, a negotiation becomes all about ourselves. We tend to forget about the other party and focus solely on our importance and needs. During these times, we actually become more susceptible to falsehoods and truth-

distortion as we twist reality to suit our ego-driven fantasies. In other words, we start to believe our own BS. If you’re caught up in your ego, prepare to be exploited by a skilled negotiator. #3 - Keep Your Emotions Under Control I’m not an advocate for being emotionless at the negotiating table. In fact, I believe it’s nearly impossible to be emotionless — and that’s OK. What’s more important is controlling your emotions and not letting them

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” - Benjamin Franklin

get the best of you. Skilled negotiators sense when emotion is taking hold, and they find ways to get it back under control, such as taking a break, changing topics, or asking questions. #4 - Rely on “Yes” More Than “No” I’ve never won an argument or negotiation by saying “no.” All negotiated deals will end with someone saying “yes,” so why not start there? It’s very tempting to tell the other party “no” when you’re asked to do something you don’t want to do. However, saying “no” rarely ends the conversation or solves the problem. In fact, it usually creates new problems. The next time you’re asked to give something you weren’t prepared to give, stop and think about how you can respond affirmatively. Skilled negotiators look for ways to give, create value, and keep conversations moving forward. They create possibilities. All of that begins with “yes.” #5 - Don’t Go Alone Sometimes we have no choice but to engage in negotiations by ourselves. Then again, sometimes we choose to negotiate alone because our ego tells us that we’re skilled enough to do so (see tip #2 above). When we’re alone, we’re susceptible to mistakes via our blind spots and other shortcomings. Having help is not a sign of weakness. In fact, skilled negotiators seek to work with a team. They’re rarely alone because they know that they’re stronger when working with those who

can share the workload, bring alternative perspectives to the table, and generally fill in the gaps. They create teams that are more powerful and effective than any individual. By keeping all of the above top of mind throughout 2020, your deals will be much better and you’ll be much happier. “Our skilled negotiators and consultants have helped thousands of dealmakers.”

Be a G.O.A.T. Negotiator by Brian Buck

#2 They Have Coaches G.O.A.T.s have people in their circle who watch them in action, analyze what they’re doing, highlight their blind spots, and hold them accountable for improving. As natural an athlete as Ali was, his work with Angelo Dundee actually set him apart. (For your information, Dundee also trained 15 other world champions.) When Gretzky was asked about his uncanny hockey awareness, he proudly said, “It’s not God-given, it’s Wally-given,” referring to his father, who coached Gretzky on how to anticipate and play differently from everyone else. Sebastian Vettel has been using individual coaches for mental performance as well as focusing on areas of preparedness and time management. Coaches have the ability to inspire and teach greatness, but their true genius lies in observing, highlighting, and challenging. Coaches can watch and see the entire playing field, whereas a player may see only the play in front of them. Coaches can point out the blind spots that need to be worked on, not to mention the opportunities that must be taken advantage of. Coaches can challenge the athlete to think and perform beyond their own limitations. When it comes to performance, corporate athletes need many different types of coaches. Much as sports athletes have a nutritionist, an athletic trainer, a sports psychologist, a business advisor, and, of course, the team’s coaches, corporate athletes should have a cadre of coaches to call upon in order to help them achieve greatness. The same goes for great dealmakers. Dealmakers need deal coaches — someone who can cut through their emotional limitations, bring a broader perspective, and challenge their institutional thinking in order to maximize performance with the goal of achieving the best deal possible. To be a G.O.A.T., train like a G.O.A.T. and be coached like a G.O.A.T.

When it comes to sports, the term G.O.A.T. (aka greatest of all time) gets tossed around a lot. Sometimes the title is easy to bestow, due to an athlete’s undeniably impressive career stats. But most of the time, it becomes the subject of endless debates regarding one player who may, or may not, be better than another. However, regardless of who’s your G.O.A.T. — Muhammad Ali, Tom Brady, Serena Williams, Sebastian Vettel, Wayne Gretzky (the actual Great One) — we should be able to agree that they all have two things in common. As it turns out, these two things can turn any dealmaker into a G.O.A.T. negotiator. #1 They Practice All of them worked to be great. Even those with God-given talent had to work to refine that talent. Put another way, they never rested on their laurels. As someone once told me, “Hard work beats hardly working talent every day.” My suspicion is that the G.O.A.T.s believe that too. For instance, Serena Williams spends five hours a day honing her craft. Even during the off season, Tom Brady’s putting in work — both physical and mental — five days a week. That said, it’s no accident that these people are at the top of their game and are universally considered the greatest of all time. They work at it. By contrast, many “corporate athletes” rarely practice their craft. They just jump in and do it, most of them expecting different results from the same actions. Why don’t they practice their craft? They point to a lack of time, but the reality is that it’s simply not a priority, therefore they don’t make the time. Which is a shame, because it’s practice that gives us the ability to try new things, make mistakes in a safe environment, and learn to get better. Becoming a great dealmaker requires practice. Just wanting to be great won’t get you there. Reading about being great won’t make it happen. You have to take the time to practice, particularly at those critical deals that have a lot riding on them. No professional athlete shows up to a game without practicing, so why would you show up to a negotiation without doing the same?

Negotiating Alone by Brian Buck

I’m a big believer in working with a team. I’ve always felt that I’m stronger when working with others than by myself. However, negotiating as a team can’t always happen. In fact, many of us find ourselves in the position of having to do our dealmaking all on our own. Some of you may prefer it this way while others are forced to do it this way, but in the end, negotiating alone is not an easy task and should not be taken lightly. Here are some tips on what to do when you’re caught negotiating alone. 1. Slow Down There’s a lot to do in an effective negotiation. That said, it’s much easier when you can distribute the load among teammates, but when you’re by yourself, you’ll have to do everything yourself. So, slow down and give yourself enough time to get everything done — from thorough preparation to effective proposal-making. This is not the time to rush. Be mindful of what you’re doing and take your time. 2. Plan for Breaks When you’re with a team, there are natural breaks that occur during the course of conversation — moments when you’re not talking. These moments will give you some time to think. When you’re by yourself, you’re carrying the burden of driving the conversation, so breaks tend to be nonexistent. Therefore, plan to take a couple of breaks in your conversation — whether they’re to use the restroom, grab something to drink, or just take some time to think. They will help you to gather your thoughts and process information. 3. Summarize Often When you’re by yourself, not only do you have to drive the conversation, but you also have to take copious notes while trying to listen intently to the other side. To help keep everything organized, regularly pause and summarize the conversation to that point. This will help to ensure that you haven’t lost any of the salient points that have been discussed. You can even ask the other side to summarize, which will give you a minute

to think things over as well. 4. Be Comfortable Tabling Answers

When we’re by ourselves, we sometimes feel pressure to have all the answers. That’s just not realistic, so don’t fall into that trap. If the other side asks a question that you’re not prepared to answer or aren’t ready to answer, then don’t. Let them know that you “need to think about it” or that you “haven’t considered that situation” and need some time before you can answer. If it’s important, they’ll wait. Better to take your time than to give an answer that you’ll regret later. 5. Look for Opportunities to Consult with Others Even though you’re by yourself, find ways to leave the table and consult with others. During breaks or between meetings, confer with a colleague. Talk to them about what’s happening and get their input on the situation. This will help to broaden your perspective, allowing you to see past your own blinders. Like I said, I prefer to have a team with me when I negotiate, but that doesn’t always happen. And I’m sure that many of you rarely get the opportunity to negotiate with a team. Regardless of your situation, when you’re caught negotiating alone, remember the above and you’ll get through it with much better deals. “Be mindful of what

you’re doing and take your time.”

Ripped Off by Brian Buck

When the phone call came, all we heard from our colleague was, “You’re kidding me!” We were finishing up a celebratory team dinner at the resort we were staying at, and we discovered that our colleague’s room had been broken into and all of his belongings stolen. And by “all,” I mean everything, including passports, credit cards, car keys, and laptops. Needless to say, it cut the celebration short. I paid the bill and headed to his room to figure out what to do. All I knew was that, at some point, the property’s management and I were going to have a few words about how to rectify the situation. All told, the loss was about $4,000. Obviously, this amount didn’t include the massive inconvenience of having to get everything shut down and replaced. His room was on the second floor. The burglar apparently came through the sliding door on the balcony, as evidenced by the open balcony door and the fact that the security bar on the room’s front door had been locked (presumably to prevent entry from the front). My colleague also received a fraud alert via his credit card from a gas station located 15 minutes from the resort. Unfortunately, the hotel’s security was limited: There were no cameras in the area, and there wasn’t sufficient personnel to patrol the expansive property. As we considered what happened, it was clear that the hotel wasn’t doing enough to deter, much less prevent, incidents like this. We had selected this hotel for our annual team meeting. I invited our entire North America team as well as global leadership for this special

occasion to celebrate our 20th anniversary in the region. As details of the burglary unfolded, I began to hear about other security concerns: broken in-room safes, unlit pathways, burned-out overhead lighting, unresponsive staff regarding guest concerns, etc. As my team shared all of these relatively minor things that became more of an issue in light of the burglary, I felt that we had a legitimate complaint. My first step was to notify our banquet manager and his boss of our issue. I was clear not only about the issue, but also about my expectations in terms of making the situation better, including next steps. Shortly after submitting my complaint, I was visited by the head of security and banquet manager. As predicted, they were empathetic and apologetic. I restated my opening position and let them know how this had impacted us. I told them, specifically, what I needed to make the situation better. The ask? Provide enough credit/rebate to our bill to cover the loss of belongings and make up for the inconvenience. The ensuing debate was brief. Since I was clear about what we wanted, the conversation moved quickly from apologies for what happened to what needed to be done to make it right. While the situation was unfortunate, it does illustrate what to do when you’ve been aggrieved. Complaining is easy, but it rarely leads to resolving the situation in a manner that’s acceptable to you. If you can take a moment to think through what you need, then you can drive the conversation toward a resolution that you can live with.

“Complaining is easy, but it rarely leads to resolving the situation in a manner that’s acceptable to you.”

What’s Love Got to Do With It? by Brian Buck

Love is in the air . . . or is it? Valentine’s Day is around the corner and like clockwork, we’re getting inundated with advertisements for flowers, jewelry, romantic this, and romantic that. There’s seemingly an endless number of ways to materialistically show our love. Which got me to thinking: Do you need to send a valentine to the ones you negotiate with? To put it differently, how much love should you show at the negotiating table? We recently completed an exhaustive global study of negotiations, surveying more than 5,000 executives in 31 countries. The results were stunning. One of the data points that struck me was the impact of negotiations on relationships. Only 1 in 5 executives said that their relationships were strengthened when the negotiation was completed. 1 in 5! It seems that there’s a lot of love lost at the negotiating table. Here’s the issue with that: Most negotiations in business are not occurring with transactional partners and one-off relationships — they’re taking place with strategic partners and/or long-term relationships. Which means that these are people who are negotiating on a regular basis. So, if 4 out of 5 executives aren’t strengthening relationships during a negotiation, the relationship is, at best, neutralized and, at worst (and far more frequently), worsened. When relationships aren’t being strengthened, trust begins to erode. Every time the parties come to the table, they prepare for battle instead of collaboration. They get into a defensive position instead of trying to find higher ground. They tend to shut down and hold information close to their vests instead of opening up and freely communicating information. They look for ways to win instead of ways to create value. But that’s not all. When relationships aren’t being strengthened, negotiations take longer. This may be because information is so hard to come by, being that no one is willing to share. Therefore, it simply takes more time to discover what’s necessary to create a deal. Parties begin to push positions well beyond the bargaining arena, creating arbitrary

starting points because, through their own defensive position, they believe they’ll have to give up ground, so they build in additional buffers. It takes time to break through all of the defenses just to generate some movement. Still, there’s more. When relationships aren’t being strengthened, value is lost. With everyone taking a defensive position, focused solely on themselves and lacking trust in the other party, how could value be created? Instead, the parties have inadvertently created a negotiation scenario in which only one can win. When only one can win, the other must lose. When all value is one-sided, the other party leaves beaten and upset, and the cycle of destroying relationships continues. So, yes, we need more valentines at the negotiating table. We need to be more mindful of the other party and their needs. We need to think about the long-term impacts of a “me only” mentality. We need to remember that the other party will be sitting across from us in the next negotiation, so how do we want them to behave? Would we rather have an adversary sitting across from us or a partner? Maybe sending a valentine isn’t such a bad idea. “We need to think about the long-term impacts of a ‘me only’ mentality.”

The Sinking Yacht Club, Part 1 by Richard Waldrop

To be honest, I consider myself only an occasional sailor and fisherman. But I really like being around boats and the water, and I’ve been sailing for more than 40 years. In fact, it runs in my family. The Waldrops built a sailboat marina in Jordan Creek, North Carolina, back in 1974. And when I say “built,” I mean we physically built it — my father, my brother, and me. We cut the trees, we skinned the trees, we treated the poles, we built the pile driver, and we drove the piles. So, yes, that marina means a great deal to me. In 1990, my father sold the marina and the family kept some adjoining property, which has a house on it, so we’re still there a lot. This has given us a ringside seat to an unfortunate set of circumstances, as we’ve recently watched the marina fall into a state of disrepair. After two hurricanes in three years, pieces of the pier broke off and floated away. It was like watching pieces of my own family history washing away. Nowadays, it’s not an inviting place to keep a sailboat. Fact is, it’s not a very inviting place for members of my own yacht club, the River Rat Yacht Club, which uses the marina and its building as its clubhouse. We’ve actually begun to lose members, who have other options available to them at better-maintained facilities. The club is 40 years old, and it’s a big part of the local river community, so I really felt the need to step in and do everything I could to restore one piece of history in order to keep another going. Before I get into what I did, I should tell you a little more about the “It was like watching pieces of my own family history washing away.”

current owner, a doctor who lives about 50 miles away, and his relationship with the yacht club. Based on a brief conversation I had with him a few months back, it occurred to me that he felt he was spending a lot of time and money on marina upkeep, and the club wasn’t giving him much in return. In fact, he added, some people seemed to take use of the clubhouse — which, to be fair, had been unofficial up to that point — for granted. This may be the reason why he’d been dragging his feet in terms of repairs. That’s when it occurred to me that I might be able to put my 19 years of negotiating experience to good use by reworking the equation — creating an official quid pro quo between the yacht club and the marina’s owner. In a nutshell, we’d have the yacht club formally take over most of the marina’s maintenance and operations responsibility in exchange for official use of the clubhouse and partial use of slip rental proceeds to help with marina maintenance. Circling back with our club’s commodore, I was able to put together a list containing what we wanted the owner to do, followed by a list of what we’d do for the owner. Those lists allowed us to focus our thinking through the various issues and group all of them into just those two areas. Once we had them grouped, we were able to talk through a more organized proposal, which included having all slip rental payments sent to the RRYC for deposit in the owner’s account. Of that amount, we would take 33% for a maintenance account, which we would oversee. This would ensure that the owner had limited responsibility while receiving all of his money. In return, the club would give 50% of our existing funds toward immediate pier repair. This approach has given us a framework to bring to the yacht club at our annual meeting in March, which will allow us, potentially, to bring it to the owner immediately afterwards. I genuinely believe that it’ll solve both parties’ problems — and it will strengthen the relationship between the club and the owner so that both sides feel they’re moving towards a common goal of increased rental income for the owner and a more vibrant yacht club for the membership.

The $5 Loveseat and the Great Haggle by Brian Buck

My dad is a notorious bargain hunter with an incredible sense for how to close a deal. So it came as no surprise when I got a text from him that read, “Just picked up a leather loveseat recliner for $5 — thing is like new! I spent more on the conditioner than I did on the couch!” When I asked him how he did it, I got a blow-by-blow account from a haggler deep within his element — a man with a leather-clad trophy and a story to tell. Haggling often gets confused with negotiating. Negotiation, by our definition, is the act of trading something of lesser importance for something of greater importance. It usually involves more than one variable. Haggling is about how a single variable is divided among the parties involved. For instance, a typical negotiation might occur around trading volume for a price concession. A typical haggle, on the other hand, would focus solely on price and how much (or how little) to pay. A negotiation has the potential for both parties to “win,” because there are multiple variables involved and both parties are using those variables to trade for things they want. Whereas in a haggle, typically one party has to lose in order for the other party to win. Consider haggling over the price of a car: In order for you to pay less (win), the dealer would have to reduce the price (lose). You may reach a price you’re both satisfied with, where you’re willing to complete the deal, but no additional value was created during the process. “Haggling is about how a single variable is divided.”

Therein lies the problem with haggling — no value is created. This is important when you’re engaged in a long-term relationship wherein someone feeling as though they lost would be detrimental to its longevity. It’s also important to recognize the potential negative impacts when you’re involved in a strategic acquisition of something and there are multiple, complex variables at play. Focusing solely on one variable can crush the value of the entire deal. However, haggling does have its place. In many countries, haggling is culturally acceptable and, in fact, expected. You may have to haggle before you can negotiate any other variables. Haggling can also help build momentum in a deal. Haggling over a small item and coming to an agreement may help facilitate movement of larger items. It can also help to expedite the entire negotiation process by quickly getting to a resolution on an inconsequential variable. Now, back to the loveseat . . . My dad’s explanation of the haggle is what you’d expect from any such story. The guy he bought it from wanted a lot more than $5. My dad was jovial, made a persuasive argument, and offered less. The other guy refused the offer but made a counteroffer, and they went back and forth until, at last, they agreed on $5. Make no mistake: My dad will recount that story every time someone applies their posterior to that leather loveseat recliner. And that retelling is worth far more to him than the $5 he paid. “Therein lies the problem with haggling — no value is created.”

You Negotiate More Than You Probably Realize by Brian Buck

you and your closest friends and loved ones, as well as your clients, suppliers, business partners, and bosses. First, you must change your perception of what negotiation really is. It’s not about haggling over price with a sleazy used-car salesperson, nor is it about slamming your fist on the table to intimidate people in order to get what you want. It’s also not about all of the dirty tricks you hear about, like “good cop, bad cop.” Instead, it’s about trading away things of lower importance to you in return for things of greater importance. In doing so, it’s about navigating the complex emotions and ego that can drive good and bad behavior. And you probably negotiate more often than you realize. Negotiating at Home When you’re asked by your child to give them just another 15 minutes before bedtime, they’re negotiating. When you’re deliberating where to go for date night and are craving different places, you’re negotiating. When you’re deciding between two different household purchases or when you’re talking to your spouse about a major purchase or investment, you’re very likely in the middle of a negotiation. We negotiate nearly every day, whether we label it as such or not. We don’t need to practice or even consciously recognize a negotiation to engage in one, especially with those closest to us. But we often use tactics and employ strategies that may either be ineffective, potentially damaging, or place us in a poor position. By developing and honing real negotiation skills, we learn to work toward better outcomes with our loved ones — not just to “win” or get what we want, but to actually come to a better resolution that can protect or strengthen the relationship. When asked, “Why not?” after denying a request for more screen time before bed, we could simply retort with a “because I said so.” But by, instead, taking a step back and reframing the entire conversation, we might discover a trade wherein your child can earn their minutes with another task, or by going to bed earlier for the rest of the week if they’re staying up for something specific. This may teach them a valuable lesson (to work toward a deal rather than to beg) while potentially taking some housework off your hands.

Negotiation is not limited to the shot callers and power players of the world. Negotiation is a fact of life, and all of us learn over time to leverage our own natural talents to get the best deal in countless different situations. What if I told you that the skills used to come to a multimillion dollar agreement in the conference room of a large company are largely the same as those used to resolve a marital dispute or to work out a deal with your child to justify spending so much on their newfound love for surfing? Sure, the scope, scale, and stakes change from situation to situation. But regardless of the context, negotiation is something that can be taught, trained, and honed to great effect in many different contexts. Why bother? Because there’s more to negotiation than “winning.” Learning to negotiate will help you to smooth over conflicts, come to better resolutions together, and improve communication between

to coerce you into doing something you didn’t want to do — whether it’s through being aggressive, blaming someone else for the problem, or getting emotional. Learning the ins and outs of basic negotiation helps you to identify these moments and stand your ground. Negotiating a Better Job Offer It’s one thing to negotiate for a better salary — something nearly everyone finds nerve-racking, regardless of their competence or track record — but it’s something else entirely to negotiate for a better job offer once you’ve made it past the interview stage. Depending on what you do and how long you’ve been looking, you may be in a particularly tough job market, and it can feel risky to try to advocate for yourself any further after gratefully finding a position you can use to support yourself (and your family). However, if you know your value and you’ve done your research, then negotiating for a better job offer will be less intimidating. This is particularly the case if you’re flexible in your approach and are open to other ways to enhance your job offer, like additional vacation, signing bonus, allowances, flexible hours, work-from-home, better title, development opportunities, and many other items you could ask for beyond pay. Negotiating Is a Skill Whenever we’re in a position to trade something we have for something we want more, we’re essentially in a negotiation. Yet as ubiquitous as the process is, negotiation remains a skill — one that you can improve and hone, and one that you should practice regardless of what you do for a living. Being a better negotiator can help you become a better parent, a better worker, a better boss, a better partner. But to practice it, you need to understand it. When you learn the process and the associated skills, you become more aware of how you and others around you use certain negotiation skills to get what they want, and you find opportunities to hone your own skills and put them to use more effectively and productively.

Consider, then, a negative negotiation outcome for parents — wherein a child throws a temper tantrum for something they want at the store, and the parent gives in and buys them the object of desire. The parent has taught the child to use their power of a temper tantrum in exchange for something they want. The child learns quickly and will repeat this exercise the next time they’re told “no.” Negotiating with children of all ages seems different on the surface from negotiating with adults, but there are lots of similarities to negotiating with an adult, which is why it’s good practice. Negotiating With a Coworker Once again, negotiation skills prove valuable at work. Whether you’re looking to negotiate swapping meeting times or conference rooms, or hoping to convince someone to work with you on a certain project, negotiation skills allow you to smoothen the transition toward your collaborative experience and communicate with your coworkers more effectively. Sometimes, your coworkers might not have your best interests in mind when negotiating with you. If you’ve ever been asked to pick up the slack or do them a favor, or to cooperate in some other fashion that’s obviously detrimental to you, you might’ve been at the receiving end of a negotiation tactic that purposely pushes you out of your comfort zone “We negotiate nearly every day, whether we label it as such or not.”

Lost Opportunity by John Leehman

Joe, a friend of mine with years of specialty medical experience, was relocating to a new area and looking for a challenging job with good compensation and working conditions. He had an impeccable résumé, not to mention a stellar reputation in his market. During his search, he came across a career opening that unexpectedly — and mysteriously — fell through. By the looks of it, the missed job opportunity matched Joe’s qualifications perfectly. In fact, the employer made an offer immediately following the initial interview. While the proposed salary was slightly less than Joe was looking for, the offer came with an aggressive bonus plan and an opportunity for him to oversee a new office with dynamic market potential. Joe was excited by the prospect of career advancement, and a match clearly seemed possible. Then came the rub. The final contract details, submitted by the employer, were sketchy to say the least. First, the salary offer was much lower than had been

Joe’s counteroffer attempted to accomplish two things: He assumed that first-year cash flow was a high priority for the employer due to the new office location and start-up costs, so he decided to accept the lower first-year salary offer, but he structured his counterproposal to

discussed. Secondly, it didn’t include the responsibilities for leading the new office. Something was amiss. Joe was still interested in the position, so he made a counteroffer to deal with what he hoped was an oversight.

negotiation. Ostensibly, the employer was up against the wall with a property option for the new office, which was set to expire the next day. Since this opportunity was in a location that was new to Joe, and would require an out-of-state relocation for his family, he required additional time. Was the employer’s applied pressure genuine or simply a negotiation tactic? Either way, the employer seemed unphased by Joe’s request for more time to come to a decision — a clear danger sign. In any negotiation, forcing a decision before there’s a clear understanding between the parties regarding employment conditions, performance criteria, and expected outcomes is a recipe for regret down the line. Finally, at the time when everything fell apart, Joe’s first thought was that he had “blown” a great opportunity. However, in retrospect, he was pleased by how he had protected himself with his counterproposal. His added requests were reasonable and appropriate. They addressed key issues that would transform the job offer from risky to rewarding. He also avoided several areas of significant risk that will never be fully evaluated. Better armed as a result of this negotiation experience,

guarantee his desired salary within three years, regardless of market conditions beyond Joe’s control. Secondly, he asked for more clarity on some of the working conditions that he and the employer had discussed during the interview, but that were not laid out in the employer’s final offer. It was critical that Joe have complete transparency into these specifics, because he was emerging from an unfavorable employment environment at his last job — one that he didn’t want to repeat. Here’s where the unexpected occurred: Within an hour after Joe submitted his counterproposal, the employer withdrew all offers from the table, refusing to discuss the agreement further. It was mind- boggling for Joe. After some reflection, he considered this a learning opportunity and is taking some things with him into his next job pursuit . . . First, he resolved to do more research into his potential employer before attending the first interview. In this case, after the employer pulled the offer, Joe did a deeper investigation and discovered several red flags. The employer’s “client satisfaction” stats in his current market were not particularly good. Additionally, the employer had never before hired a manager or expanded to a subsidiary office. And based on his abrupt termination of discussions, he likely had other management-style issues or agendas that Joe never fully uncovered, all with potential for hidden risks. Secondly, the employer pressured Joe to make his decision within 24 hours — a stipulation that had become a significant factor in the “He considered this a learning opportunity...”

“Something was amiss.”

Joe resumed his employment search, resolving to dig into each new opportunity carefully and be more transparent about his key priorities at the initial stages of negotiation, assuring that both parties are on the same page. Sure enough, he quickly found a superior employment offer, far exceeding his counteroffer to the original employer.

Then It All Changed...

It’s ironic that the blog post published immediately before the pandemic’s impact was titled Lost Opportunity . When COVID-19 hit, it hit hard and it felt like all opportunity was lost. Everyone was nervous, scared, and unsure about the future. Like all businesses, we quickly pivoted and adapted to a new, virtual world. We followed our instincts. We got a lot right, and we got our fair share of things wrong. But we never lost focus of our mission to transform the way people negotiate.

Minimize the Financial Impact of COVID-19 by Brian Buck

As the world deals with the magnitude of the COVID-19 virus, we find our daily lives transformed in ways we never thought possible. Businesses are experiencing a period of growing uncertainty. All signed contracts seem to be at risk. Many organizations are restricting travel, limiting employee congregations, and are even having their teams work from home. In an instant, a world that we thought couldn’t get more virtual did just that. We’re being faced with the new challenge of running our businesses without any face-to-face interactions. How do we stay connected to our clients, suppliers, and employees while distancing ourselves from each other for public and personal safety? How do we minimize damage to everything we’ve worked so hard to build?

The greatest challenges will be around how we renegotiate contracts, resolve conflicts, and protect our future. Working virtually can present its own set of challenges, but it can also create a whole new world of opportunities. Below are five tips to help you navigate your way through this public crisis. The Medium Matters Not Whether you’re negotiating face-to-face, virtually, or via carrier pigeon, the same core principles of negotiation apply. However, you must be mindful of the medium and the impact that it can have. For instance, working virtually unlocks many possibilities that you don’t have when working in person, such as utilizing technology to communicate with other members on your team, accessing information and data incognito, leveraging collaborative tools, and even creating more dynamic, visually appealing presentations. That said, if you’re not working in person, it will be more difficult to see and read body language. Therefore, you must be more attuned to listening for verbal signals of flexibility. The point being, don’t let the medium inhibit your negotiation — rather, embrace it and allow it to open up more possibilities. Get Curious, Not Defensive Requests to change current contracts or to get out of existing obligations are coming your way, if they’re not already there. Your initial reaction to a change request is to assume the defensive position and protect what you have. My advice? Be curious. These are extraordinary times, and while there’s a common theme around COVID-19, don’t assume that you know all of the underlying reasons for the requested change. Ask questions. Seek to understand what’s happening in their business and how this crisis is impacting them. The more information you can gather — identifying what’s most important to them — the better you’ll be able to create a viable solution. Resist the Entrepreneur’s Need to Solve Problems As entrepreneurs, we move quickly. We solve problems. And we take

“We find our daily lives transformed in ways we never thought possible.”

great pride in doing both well. In fact, that’s likely the reason why our businesses are successful in the first place. However, at this moment it’s important to think through how you can give the other party what they’re asking for in a way that’s acceptable to you. This requires you to hit pause and create some space. Instead of trying to find all of the reasons to say “no,” find the ways you can say “yes.” Think about what you want and need in return. Just because we’re in the midst of a crisis doesn’t mean that you have to give everything away. Take time to think about your trades. This Crisis Is Only Momentary — Negotiate Accordingly The changes you make to an agreement in order to address current issues can become the new norm unless you put limitations and “Much of the conflict you’ll be dealing with is emotionally driven.”

qualifiers on the terms that you’ve agreed to. For instance, simple phrasings, like “one-time” or “COVID-19-related,” can help you to ensure that the other side doesn’t come back, post-crisis, expecting your generosity to continue ad infinitum. Instead, you’ll be in a position to limit the changes that were made during an extraordinary moment in time. Emotions Still Exist in the Virtual World Much of the conflict you’ll be dealing with is emotionally driven. After all, people are worried about their jobs, taking care of their families, and/ or saving their businesses. Communicating virtually can sometimes mask underlying emotion. If you ignore those emotions, you could very well be viewed as callous. Worse yet, ignoring them could turn a collaborative conversation into a competitive one. While you might not be able to control the emotions of others, I would encourage you to be mindful of your emotional state. If you’re feeling too close to the issues or too emotionally invested, consider bringing someone with you who’s less attached to the situation’s outcome. They can provide you with perspective and balance. With all of that said, minimizing COVID-19’s long-term financial impact while managing at-risk contracts will take discipline, mindfulness, and commitment to a vision that extends beyond this moment. But if you put this time to use wisely and incorporate the virtual opportunities presented by necessity, you can come out of this in far better shape than you might have imagined.

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