A Tale of Our Times by Brian Buck
attention. You don’t have to agree. I leave those choices to you. The following is not a rant about politics or social policies. Instead, it’s a look at the personal accountability that, I believe, is necessary for healing and progress. I believe that the more we use the pronouns us , them , and they , the less personal accountability we have, which prohibits real change. In contrast, our growing use of I , me , and you will lead to increased ownership of these issues and, by extension, direct accountability for our own actions. If this conversation isn’t for you, then I thank you for making it this far. If it is for you, then all I would ask is that we be respectful to everyone involved as we move the conversation forward. Recognize That Conflict Exists In a purely psychological sense, conflict can be defined as the intersection of two or more opposing impulses or goals. There are three kinds of conflict:
1. Interpersonal: conflict with others 2. Intrapersonal: conflict with ourselves
This past week was gut-wrenching, as I took in the social injustice, the civil unrest, the calls for action, and the sheer pain experienced by so many people. Like others, I was saddened and moved by what I saw, but it’s been difficult to watch. It’s been just as hard to explain it to my kids, and it’s been painful to talk to friends who have been impacted. The one thing I keep coming back to in all of this is that change simply doesn’t take place without each and every one of us being held accountable for it. My intent here is not to preach or to pretend that I have answers — I don’t. It’s also not meant to pander to a certain audience or to minimize what’s happening by even one iota. Instead, it’s designed to share my own perspective in order to help, in my own small way, move a conversation forward. My views are my own. You don’t have to pay
3. Unconscious: repressed and unmindful intrapersonal conflict Change requires us to recognize a conflict with others and within ourselves. If you don’t perceive a conflict, then how can you address it? Interpersonal conflicts are most obvious, as we’re seeing them play out every day. However, some watch them happen, while others actually live them. In addition, some of us struggle with intrapersonal (or internal) conflicts as we try to reconcile what we’re experiencing with what we’re feeling. For instance, if you’ve never experienced racism, then you might be conflicted with what you see happening as it relates to your own experience. The only commonality here is that everyone’s conflict is their own, and it’s what matters most to them. If we can take the first step
Made with FlippingBook Proposal Creator