The Real Reason
You Should Fill Out Your Personal Wishes Document
At first glance, the purpose of filling out a personal wishes document seems obvious. You need to let your family and loved ones know about your preferences for important decisions regarding your medical, long-term, and end- of-life care. However, after observing families go through the trauma of losing a loved one and experiencing that trauma myself (I’ve buried two parents and five in-laws), I’ve come to realize that making sure your final wishes are known and honored is the least important reason to fill out forms and deal with our own mortality. While you may identify a few areas and items that really matter to you on the personal wishes form, most people find that they don’t really care what happens in situation X, Y, or Z — or they figure they just won’t care after they’re gone. This is usually the case for 80%–90% of the topics covered in these types of forms. After 30 years in the estate planning field, what I’ve actually found to be the most important reason to complete these documents is to keep the people you leave behind from having to make difficult decisions, whether they’re big, like choosing your preferred professional care facility, or small, like deciding the kinds of flowers you want at your funeral.
When a family loses a loved one, they have to immediately disrupt their lives — work schedules, child care, travel plans, etc. — in order to take on a never-ending stream of logistical decisions surrounding that loss. During a time that’s already full of stress and grief, it’s easy for family members to bicker and disagree, even on the trivial things. However, if you take the time to make as many decisions in your personal wishes document as possible, it could reduce, and even eliminate, potential arguments and disagreements among family members, letting them spend time and energy to properly grieve instead. All that said, my best advice for filling out your personal wishes document is to fill it out two separate times for different reasons. The first time, think about what’s important to you. The second time, think about which decisions you can make that will prevent your family from having to make it themselves. That is the best gift you can give them.
Trivia
Watermelon andTomato Salad WithTurmeric Oil Inspired by BonAppetit.co
How many times has the winner of the presidential popular vote lost in the Electoral College?
Submit your answers to email@jrphillipslaw.com.
INGREDIENTS:
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4 cups seedless watermelon, diced into 1/2-inch pieces 2 medium heirloom tomatoes, diced into 1/2-inch pieces
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1/4 cup virgin coconut oil
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1 tsp peppercorns, coarsely crushed
Correct answers will be entered into a drawing on June 30 for an Amazon gift card.
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1 tsp coriander seeds, coarsely crushed
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1/2 tsp cumin seeds
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8 oz mild feta, diced into 1/2-inch pieces
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1/2 tsp ground turmeric
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Flaked sea salt
DIRECTIONS:
1. In a small saucepan, heat coconut oil, peppercorns, coriander seeds, cumin seeds, and turmeric for about 3 minutes or until fragrant. Let cool slightly but do not let coconut oil solidify. 2. In a large bowl, place diced watermelon, tomatoes, and feta. Drizzle with oil mixture and finish with a dash or two of salt.
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