RB: I also do sarcasm. But you know, I have two sets of kids, and the second set were born when I was 50 and 53—they’re now 14 and 18, the other two are 34 and 37. People keep telling me the same thing: it keeps you young. And I always say no, it doesn’t keep you young. It makes you not want to die. When I had cancer, my young- est was two-and-a-half, and I’m reading I Love You Forever by Robert Munsch to him. And I’m thinking, if this doesn’t work out, I’m just nothing to him, I evaporate. I’m just someone they tell him about, and he has no actual understanding or mem- ory of me. It does bring an urgency to life. But I think that’s a good thing. AZ: It keeps you young only in the sense that by age 65 or 66, you could possibly walk around less. But in my one-man show I have a story about playing a game with my daughter where you chase her and she runs ahead of you laughing, and then you run up behind her and she hears you and she laughs and she runs ahead. She has gears that I don’t have anymore. She’s running towards the road, cack- ling—and now I have to actually run, or my version of running, which means pounding the pavement: Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! And I grab her before she gets to the road. At that age, I’d have never run. It doesn’t keep you young. I always wanted a kid, but when you talk about my dyspeptic nature, it’s still there. I can’t get rid of it. But because of my daugh-
his name. But then I saw his name and I was like: Oh, I know who you are. I’ve been completely in control of all my films, I don’t use anything that I don’t want to use. I don’t think about the theme, I don’t think about the message, I don’t think about metaphors. I just think about not being boring and throwing balls in the air, keeping them there to the end. That’s my whole gig. So, I don’t know if I can be good for half an hour, pointed. Then again, I find a lot of nice podcasts are boring, and I’m afraid mine will also be boring—but they’ll be happy with my boring podcast. RB: Different people work in different ways. Like, if I’m going to go out and talk to an audience or a group, my wife will say, “Well, what are you going to say?” And I’m not being disingenuous in admitting I have no idea. “How could you have no idea?” I say, because it’ll have to happen. I’ll be in front of them. I just can’t stand there. I have faith in the fact that something will happen. AZ: Well, that might be true. You know, the first one was OK, I’m doing four more, but they’re not even ordering a whole season. I’ll be recording five episodes and they’re gonna put them out there. The thing is, if it doesn’t work and they don’t want it, I’ll feel like I gave it a shot. RB: You could always do another one, and you could call that show I Should’ve Been a Lawyer. n
ter and my girlfriend and my career, I can say I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
RB: Given your ambivalence about pro- jects, what are you hoping for with The Worst Podcast ? I can probably get Ralph Benmergui to talk to me like this, I wouldn’t be nervous. But it’s a concept you have to work towards if you’ve never met the guest before. AZ: Well, I’m ambivalent because when I went to the producers at Canadaland, I wanted to do something like This Amer- ican Life . It turned out they wanted me to do an interview show instead of audio documentaries. And rather than plugging their book, I’ll ask a celebrity about the worst thing they ever said to their mother. I can probably get Ralph Benmergui to talk to me like this, I wouldn’t be nerv- ous. But it’s a concept you have to work towards if you’ve never met the guest before. I was nervous about the first one, but I said not to tell me who it is, I didn’t look at
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