A PUBLICATION OF THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS / SPRING 2025 | 5785 אביב
A VERY JEWISH HISTORY OF DESIGN BY CAROL MOSKOT ADVENTURES IN COMFORT
FOOD BY COREY MINTZ
JEWISH CANADA
Portrait of a Changing Community BY ROBERT BRYM
Wishing everyone a meaningful and peaceful Passover Spring brings renewal, and hope for good days ahead Happy Pesach! We look forward to welcoming you THIS YEAR in Jerusalem!
Jerusalem Foundation of Canada Board of Directors Past President: Lewis R. Mitz, President and Chair: Joel Reitman, C.M., Vice Chair: David Golden, Vice President: Gary Grundman, Vice President: David C. Rosenbaum, Treasurer: Doron Telem, Secretary: Carol Ryder, Members of the Board: David Berger, Ariela Cotler, Elliott Eisen, Heather Fenyes, Dr. Jacques Gauthier, Sarah Krauss, Lorri Kushnir, Paul Levine, Connie Putterman, Danny Ritter, Cheryl Rosen, Evelyn Bloomfield Schachter, Ari Shachter, Judi Shostack, Joanna Mirsky Wexler, Joseph J. Wilder, K.C., Gustavo Zentner.
Executive Director: Nomi Yeshua nomiy@jfjlm.org
Donor Relations Coordinator: Tania Haas thaas@jerusalemfoundation.ca The Jerusalem Foundation of Canada: 130 Queens Quay East Suite 1110 – West Tower Toronto, ON M5A 0P6 Tel: 416-922-0000
www.jerusalemfoundation.org
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Contents SPRING 2025 Features 5785 אביב
pg 44
44 Word Play Designing a magazine starts with its name. A very Jewish history of typography. by CAROL MOSKOT
36 Who Counts?
The present state of, and future prospects for, Jews in Canada. by ROBERT BRYM
5785 אביב 9
Contents SPRING 2025 | 5785
Letter from the CEO ............. 13 Letter from the Editor .......... 15
19 Jewish Geography 25 The Kibbitz Psychologist Peggy Kleinplatz on the stereotypes and misconceptions that can distort discussions about sex. by AVI FINEGOLD 30 On One Foot: Voting Should your Jewish values affect your vote? by AVI FINEGOLD IN THE BEGINNING
THE DECEPTIVELY SIMPLE JOYS of a good egg, page 53.
CULTURE KLATSCH
53 Eating Our Feelings: David Schwartz, Huá Dàn Xiā Rén by COREY MINTZ 59 Bookish: Unknown Country When you’ve been shut out of land ownership for centuries, can buying lavish real estate be a form of resistance? by PHOEBE MALTZ BOVY
66 Jewdar Forthcoming books, films, and other new releases of note. 73 Macher: Dovid Bashevkin 80 Judaica: Claire Sigal’s embroidery
ON THE COVER:
ILLUSTRATION BY KLAWE RZECZY
10 SPRING 2025
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SPONSORED CONTENT Finding Freedom from Caregiver Burnout: A Passover Reflection
O ne of the most common dilemmas families face is deciding between 24/7 in-home support for a loved one with dementia or transitioning them to a specialized dementia care residence. As we move through 2025, we must recognize that things have changed dramatically due to COVID-19, and family caregiver burnout is higher than ever. The emotional, psychological, and financial strain of caregiving can overwhelm the family, while the loved one’s condition and quality of life often deteriorate, as we saw through the pandemic. As Passover approaches and we reflect on the journey to liberation central to the holiday, there is a
profound lesson that resonates deeply within the world of family caregiving. It’s a timely reminder that the caregiving journey can be all-consuming and isolating. Please know you are not alone, let One Kenton Place be there for you as you navigate this journey. For those experiencing burnout, we find the greatest freedom comes from the support of our specialized dementia care residence, where both families and their loved ones can find renewed connection and peace of mind. At One Kenton Place, we recognize the difficulties families face and are committed to delivering the
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Letter from the CEO
A Season of Change A S WE STEP into spring, we find our- selves at the inter- section of renew- al, reflection, and growth. It’s the sea- son when nature awakens from the quiet of winter, and we are reminded that new be- ginnings are always possible. Spring is also synonymous with Passover, a holiday that celebrates the Jewish story of liberation and
you’ll find it a go-to source for the lat- est news, insights, and perspectives. This spring, we are also launch- ing two exciting podcasts that prom- ise to spark conversation and build connections. The first centres on in- terfaith discussions and communi- ty building; it will create opportuni- ties for people from different back- grounds to break down barriers and, we hope, find common ground. The second is about personal finance, and will focus on giving you the tools and knowledge you need to navigate the changing economic landscape and make informed decisions about your future. We rely on your support to make these projects possible and ensure that our journalism remains accessi- ble to all, free of charge. As a regis- tered journalism organization with the Canada Revenue Agency, we pro- vide tax receipts for all donations. You can donate at thecjn.ca/donate or by writing to donate@thecjn.ca. As we enter this season of re- newal, we invite you to join us on this exciting journey. We hope our maga- zine, website, and podcasts will provide you with inspiration, insight, and a sense of belonging as we grow together. Here’s to new beginnings, to learning, to community — and to a season full of promise. MICHAEL WEISDORF THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER
renewal. Just as the Israelites were given a new beginning, The CJN is embarking on a journey of our own. The story of Passover invites us to reflect on the importance of freedom, the power of community, and the joy that comes with embracing a fresh start. We too are embracing this sense of transformation and renewal with the launch of our reimagined mag- azine — Scribe Quarterly — a fresh way to connect with, inform, and inspire our community. Our magazine, and many excit- ing projects we are introducing mark a new chapter in our own story: a chance to create, build, and learn together. In this spirit, we are thrilled to announce the launch of not just our magazine, but also our redesigned website, which will serve as a dynamic hub for all things related to our mission and community. With improved navigation, engaging stories, and a sleek design, we hope
5785 אביב 13
Contributors
SCRIBE QUARTERLY is a magazine about Jewish life, culture, and ideas—a reader's guide to the contemporary Jewish world.
MARÍA HERGUETA, is a Spanish illustrator living and working between Barcelona and southern France. She studied Fine Arts and has been working as an illustrator for 10 years. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Jour- nal, The Washington Post, and other publications. CAROL MOSKOT is the art director of Scribe Quarterly. Her studio, Carol Moskot Design + Direction, focuses on the inter- section of publication design and story- telling. She’s led the redesigns of Toronto Life, Maclean’s, and The Globe and Mail in Canada, and Com- mentary and Jewish Living in the U.S. ROBERT BRYM, FRSC , is emeritus professor of sociology at the University of Toronto. His research has focused on the politics of intellectuals, Jewish emigration from the Soviet Union and its successor states, the second intifada, and Jews in Canada. He has won numerous awards for his published works and teaching.
EDITOR IN CHIEF Hamutal Dotan
ART DIRECTOR Carol Moskot CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Phoebe Maltz Bovy Avi Finegold Marc Weisblott COPY EDITOR Leah Borts-Kuperman DESIGNER Etery Podolsky THE CJN CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Michael Weisdorf GENERAL MANAGER Kathy Meitz ADVERTISING SALES DIRECTOR Grace Zweig
ROBERT BRYM “WHO COUNTS?” P.36
BOARD OF DIRECTORS Bryan Borzykowski President Sam Reitman
Treasurer and Secretary Ira Gluskin, Jay Rosenthal Jacob Smolack, Elizabeth Wolfe FOR GENERAL INQUIRIES INFO@SCRIBEQUARTERLY.CA TO SUBMIT A LETTER TO THE EDITOR: LETTERS@SCRIBEQUARTERLY.CA SCRIBE QUARTERLY IS PUBLISHED by The Canadian Jewish News, a Registered Journalism Organization as defined by the Canada Revenue Agency. DONATIONS CAN BE MADE VIA THECJN.CA/DONATE WITH THE PARTICIPATION OF:
MARÍA HERGUETA “WHO COUNTS?” P.36
CAROL MOSKOT “WORD PLAY” P.44
PRINTED IN WINNIPEG BY THE PROLIFIC GROUP.
14 MONTH 2025
Letter from the Editor
Welcome to Scribe Quarterly
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one that is steeped in love for our heritage and also clear-eyed about the changing world around us, one that understands tradition and also speaks to younger generations. It was a remarkable chance to think through important questions about the func- tion of journalism and modern life as a Jewish Canadian. I am thrilled to announce that the next chapter in The CJN’s own story is now in your hands. This reinvented magazine is born of two years’ reflec- tion and brainstorming, research and design. It was developed by veterans of The CJN, and newcomers like my- self. It is our best effort to create an honest, open venue for Jewish Cana- dians of all persuasions, identities, and experiences to come together to learn from and about each other, and about the wider Jewish diaspora. We are calling the redesigned magazine Scribe Quarterly — a name that embodies both tradition and the journalistic goals we will be pur- suing. We’ll be covering everything from politics to religion, education to food culture. We’re envisioning it as a reader’s guide to the contemporary Jewish world, and we are so excited to be sharing it with you. HAMUTAL DOTAN EDITOR IN CHIEF SCRIBE QUARTERLY P.S. We always appreciate hearing from readers and hope to begin publishing some of your notes soon. Write to us at letters@scribequarterly.ca
HEN The Canadian Jewish News launched in 1960, it was as a weekly print newspaper.
Over the decades, it covered count- less community events and develop- ments, shut down and was reborn, moved from weekly to daily, and expanded beyond the written word. The CJN’s relaunch, in 2021, took place in an entirely different media landscape — news was instan- taneous, and most of it was read on screens or listened to through head- phones. The CJN made the most of the immediacy and connection this new world offered: a daily news web- site and a slate of podcasts ensured that the community was always up- to-date. That didn’t mean that print had lost its purpose or value, and so editorial staff developed a quarter- ly magazine to ensure that readers who were looking for deep dives and visual storytelling, who wanted to sit down and take their time with re- porting and analysis, would still have a venue for doing just that. When The CJN approached me about reimagining that magazine, it was still in the throes of mid- pandemic strictures. Our first meet- ings were held on park benches, and they were to discuss a fascinating challenge: how to make a genuine- ly contemporary Jewish magazine,
5785 אביב 15
HAPPY PASSOVER Chag Sameach from Amica On The Avenue and Amica Thornhill. Sending warm thoughts and blessings as you gather at the Seder to celebrate with those you love.
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Jewish Geography BULLETINS FROM AROUND THE WORLD, BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE JEWISH TELEGRAPHIC AGENCY
ANDORRA, WHERE NON-CATHOLIC HOUSES OF WORSHIP ARE ILLEGAL, GETS ITS FIRST RABBI by PHILISSA CRAMER COMMUNITY
THE LAST few years have brought a string of Jewish milestones for Andorra, a land- locked microstate in the Pyrenees where non-Catholic houses of worship are pro- hibited by law. Last year, a Jewish lawmaker joined the legislature for the first time. Last sum- mer, the lawmaker’s brother told the Jew- ish Telegraphic Agency that the local Jew- ish community was negotiating with the
5785 אביב 19
Jewish Geography
government to secure land for a cemetery. Now, Andorra has gotten its first full-time rabbi. The Chabad-Lubavitch Ha- sidic movement announced Kuty Kalmenson’s appoint- ment in December at its annual conference for emissaries. Kal- menson and his family— his wife Rochel and their five chil- dren — had until recently been living in Ningbo, China, a city of more than 9 million south of Shanghai, but left because there were no longer Jews living or visiting there. Their arrival to Andorra in- creased the number of Jews liv- ing in that country by perhaps 10 percent. Last summer, locals told JTA that the official Jew- ish community, which operates a cultural centre in an under- ground office building to side- step the prohibition on syna- gogues, had 73 members. Kalmenson, who is taking over leadership at the cultur- al centre, told Chabad.org that he believed the actual number of Jews living in Andorra to be substantially higher — perhaps 250 among a total population of around 80,000. In addition to helping locals obtain kosher food, receive Jew- ish education, and fulfill other commandments under Jewish law, Kalmenson’s duties include serving Jewish travelers to the principality. Last year, roughly 10 million people visited Andor- ra, drawn by its luxury duty-free shopping and ski resorts. “We hope to bring everyone togeth- er,” Kalmenson said, “the vet- eran community members and those who’ve never been in- volved in Jewish life before.” JTA
POLITICS AMERICAN JEWISH GROUPS STRUGGLE TO ADDRESS SHIFTS IN IMMIGRATION POLICY by ANDREW LAPIN
THE MOOD WAS bittersweet re- cently when Rabbi Dan Kaiman headed to the local airport to welcome an Afghan refugee about to be reunited with her sister. The arrival would add to a string of happy reunions facil- itated by his synagogue, Con- gregation B’nai Emunah in Tul- sa, Oklahoma, but Kaiman also knew that the experience was likely to be the last of its kind, at least for years, as the Trump ad- ministration prepared to cut off refugee admissions. Two days later, the government indeed froze all refugee resettlement grants, which the synagogue re- lied on to fund its work. “It’s a gut-wrenching, impossible di-
rective that we’re all still trying to figure out,” Kaiman said after the order was announced. Now, Kaiman and his com- munity are regrouping to see how they can help immigrants and refugees at a time when the president has moved swift- ly against them. Mark Hetfield, the president of HIAS, the Jew- ish immigration aid and advoca- cy organization, says the speed and callousness with which Trump carried out the refugee cuts have been shocking—and placed new pressure on groups like his. “We are the ones who have to deliver the news to the families here that were wait- ing for their loved ones, who’ve
Jews For Racial and Economic Justice rallies with coalition partners at New York’s City Hall to demand New York remain a “sanctuary city” in the face of an immigration crackdown.
20 SPRING 2025
Jewish Geography
waited for sometimes decades in refugee camps, that their rel- atives won’t be coming.” As Trump’s campaign vows come to life, Jewish immi- grant-rights groups from the centre to the far left are dusting off their playbooks from eight years ago, when Trump first be- came president. But they are doing so in a changed climate, up against not only a more or- ganized administration, but also communal reorientation spurred by the Israel-Hamas war and, some say, a general sense of liberal exhaustion. National public opinion has also turned against immigration: a Gallup poll from last June shows most Americans want fewer immi- grants entering the country. Advocates such as Jessica Schaffer, director of the Jew- ish Council on Urban Affairs, a Chicago Jewish organization focused on a range of issues in- cluding immigration, are confi- dent that the Jewish connection to immigration rights remains strong. “We are a community that has experienced the immi- gration process,” she says. “We understand the mandate to wel- come the stranger is an import- ant one.” JCFS Chicago CEO Stacey Shor agrees, pointing to oft-cited Jewish values like tikun olam , or repairing the world, and welcoming the stranger. In January, the Reform and Conservative movements signed onto an open letter push- ing back against Trump’s immi- gration policies, including a di- rective permitting immigration officers to conduct raids in hous- es of worship. Some synagogues, like churches, sheltered undocu-
mented migrants during the first Trump years. A few rabbis have also become outspoken immi- gration advocates. But the giant in the Jew- ish immigration-aid space, HIAS, is entering the second Trump administration in a di- minished state owing to recent staff cuts, and Hetfield says the Israel-Hamas war has made it harder to galvanize Jewish sup- port for immigration — both because responding to the cri- sis has been demanding, and be- cause it has accelerated politi- cal shifts within Jewish commu- nities. “We need to make sure American Jews remember that if Trump were president when their parents or grandparents came here,” Hetfield says, “they wouldn’t be here, period.” At the same time, the al- liances between Jewish and Muslim groups that solidified in the wake of Trump’s “Mus- lim ban” in his first administra- tion have frayed today because of the war. But there are signs that such coalitions can be re- newed. At B’nai Emunah in Tul- sa, Kaiman is heavily reliant on local Muslim groups in resettle- ment work. They all help each other, he says, in a relationship that has continued unabated since October 7. “A Syrian refu- gee who spent years in a Jorda- nian refugee camp, then moves to Tulsa, Oklahoma, and comes to a synagogue for their refugee resettlement, for their cultural orientation to what it means to be an American,” Kaiman says. “And you know how much of a problem they have with meeting me at the front door in a kippah? It’s zero.” JTA
HERITAGE PRESERVING THE RELICS OF SYRIA’S JEWISH COMMUNITY by SHIRA LI BARTOV
THE FALL OF Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad has opened up a sea of uncertainty about Syr- ia’s future — and about the trea- sures of its past, including the remnants of its Jewish history. A 13-year civil war cost the country more than 600,000 lives and saw some 100,000 people “forcibly disappeared” into pris- ons. The war also wreaked havoc on Syria’s most important cul- tural sites, from ancient monu- ments, castles, and mosques to the vestiges of a rich Jewish cul- ture. Well before the war, Syria’s historical synagogues and oth- er Jewish sites languished in ne- glect after Jews left the country en masse during Israel’s estab- lishment. Now, archaeologists are beginning to assess how much more was lost to bombard- ment and wartime looting.
The Central Synagogue of Aleppo in January 2016.
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Jewish Geography
Syria was home to well estab- lished Jewish communities for more than 2,000 years, dating back to the Roman period. Over the centuries, those communi- ties came to include Sephardic Jews expelled from Spain and European Jewish merchants. But the rise of Arab national- ist movements, along with a set of anti-Jewish laws and vi- olence surrounding the estab- lishment of Israel, resulted in waves of Jewish emigration. About 100,000 Jews lived in Syria at the start of the twentieth century, dropping to 15,000 in 1947. By 1992, there were about 4,000 Jews in Aleppo and small- er numbers in Damascus and Qamishli. In 2022, an estimate of Syria’s Jews counted only four. Many Jewish sites have had no caretakers for decades, says Emma Cunliffe, an archaeologist with the Cultural Property Pro- tection and Peace team at New- castle University. “In a conflict situation, that neglect intensi- fies,” says Cunliffe. “Those few people who remained to look after them were then unable to reach them. But then as the war progressed, the damage in- creased significantly.” By 2020, nearly half of Syr- ia’s Jewish sites were destroyed, according to a report from the Foundation for Jewish Heri- tage. The Jobar Synagogue in Damascus, one of few Jewish places of worship still visited by a handful of elderly Jews before the war, was mostly turned into rubble in 2014. A host of ancient Torah scrolls, tapestries, chan- deliers and other artifacts from the synagogue went miss- ing, with some resurfacing in
A shopkeeper helps a custom- er at the Azra Alyahoodi (Azra the Jew) market also known as the “Jewish market,” in the city of Qamishli in northeastern Syria.
Turkey. The al-Bandara Syna- gogue, one of the oldest syna- gogues in Aleppo, also suffered damage during fighting in the region. The synagogue had been renovated in the 1990s but was damaged again during the civil war in 2016. Cunliffe, who con- ducted a study of the site in 2017, says some parts of the building were destroyed and its court- yard was littered with debris. Tadef, a town east of Aleppo, was once a popular destination for Jews because of its shrine to the Jewish scribe and prophet Ezra, who was said to stop there on his way to Jerusalem. But af- ter a long period of neglect, the shrine was illegally excavated and looted both by rebel groups and Syrian government forces between 2021 and 2022, accord- ing to the rights group Syrians for Truth and Justice. Scholars also worry about the ruins of Roman-era synagogues in ancient cities such as Apa- mea and Dura-Europos. Satellite imaging has shown that Dura- Europos was heavily looted while being held by Islamic State forces, according to Adam Blitz, a fellow of the Royal Anthropo- logical Institute. Remnants from the synagogue of Dura-Europos are treasured by museums, in- cluding the Yale University Art Gallery, which displays 40 tiles from the synagogue’s ceiling. Blitz says other artifacts from the site are feared to have been
pilfered by combatants. “There has been tremendous fear about mosaics being looted.” The extent of the damage to Jewish sites is still difficult to assess, according to Cunliffe, who says the skills and train- ing needed for forensic dam- age collection remain limited in the war-torn country. Investiga- tions through satellite imagery will also take several months. It may take much longer to estab- lish protection for these sites, as Syria’s cultural sector had been overlooked during the war and the Syrian Antiquities Authority consigned a tiny budget. As Syria hurtles into a new era, the fate of its heritage sites hangs in the balance. The coun- try’s gems of Jewish history will only survive as far as its next regime allows, Cunliffe says. The new regime has its roots in Islamic fundamentalist move- ments but in recent years has taken a pragmatic turn, leaving open questions about the fate of minorities and their interests under its governance. “Support for the people who are in a po- sition to access them and pro- tect them is critical, and also the need for an inclusive society that will allow that to happen,” Cun- liffe says. “We don’t know what the future of Syria looks like. Certainly, there’s a lot of fight- ing, and which group ultimately wins will dictate a lot of what is possible.” JTA
22 SPRING 2025
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Psychologist Peggy Kleinplatz on the stereotypes and misconceptions that can distort discussions about sex Interview by AVI FINEGOLD The Kibbitz
“JUDAISM HAS ALWAYS BEEN A VERY SEX-POSITIVE RELIGION.”
5785 אביב 25
The Kibbitz
P EGGY KLEINPLATZ is a professor in the faculty of family medicine at the University of Ottawa. I first came across her work via a book she wrote (with A. Dana Ménard) called Mag- nificent Sex: Lessons from Extraor- dinary Lovers . I have since come to learn that she has written many oth- er classics in the field of sex thera- py and edited a standard textbook on the topic (New Directions in Sex Therapy: Innovations and Alternatives) . She is the sex ther- apist’s sex therapist, appearing in books and podcasts from leading figures including Esther Perel and Emily Nagoski. She has also studied Holocaust survivors and infertility, pos- iting a compelling theory that women were fed synthetic ste- roids in concentration camps, which permanently affected their reproductive health. • I had a wide-reaching discussion with her that was both entertaining and informative, touching on many aspects of Jewish life and sexuality.
around Christian women in a way that very much parallels attitudes towards Black men in the antebellum South. We see the switch in 1960s Amer- ican culture, when the “sexual revolu- tion” occurred. We see antisemitism shifting to say that Jewish women were all “frigid” and Jewish men were un- appealing, inexperienced, neurotic. There’s this huge shift between the 1930s and the 1960s in the context of the antisemitism that used sexual- ity as a pivot point, creating whatev- er stereotypes about Jews’ sexuality would most resonate with the domi- nant culture and succeed in othering Jews and keeping Jews marginalized. I keep coming back to niddah (the halakhic status of a woman during menstruation). My thinking about this is that, historically, between nursing and pregnancy and mal- nourishment, women likely men- struated maybe once a year. Be- ing separate from your husband for 12 days out of every 28 would have been very unlikely. Yet here we are in, the twentieth century, people are healthy, pregnancy rates are down, and as a result, women that keep niddah menstruate regularly. There are dozens, hundreds of examples of rabbis and rebbetzins and educa- tors talking about how niddah and the mikveh are the best things that could ever happen to a couple, be- cause they create a honeymoon ev- ery month: that pause in sexual re- lations keeps the marriage fresh. I think it’s really an anachronism. I have a hard time teaching about this because I don’t like ascribing emotional or psychological benefits to things that we’re required to do because of the law—things change over time, and maybe the psycho- logical effects are different now than they once were. But is there research
As a rabbi who officiates weddings, I get a lot of questions about sexuality from a Jewish perspective. What are some of the benefits and challenges of talking about sexuality within a re- ligious culture? My impression is that all the religious traditions have a sex-positive and a sex-negative stream. In my teaching, I have the choice of focusing on the positive and the negative. There are a lot of people, including some who consider themselves fairly learned about Judaism, who were not taught much about authentic, tradi- tional aspects of sexuality within Ju- daism. The tradition, going all the way back to Abraham and Sarah, is fairly small-l liberal. Judaism has always been a very sex-positive religion. I have sources that I often share with couples about Jewish sex ethics. One
of the things I like to point out is that there are trends in Jewish sex ethics that closely mirror what is going on in general society. When you are in a sexually permissive world, Judaism tends to go in that direction. I would say you’ve just captured real- ly accurately one side of the coin that comes from within Jewish traditions, and where they’re situated at a given point in time and history. The prob- lem is that Jews have always been a small minority in wherever they’ve lived for the last couple of thousand years. The other influences on sexuali- ty have been non-Jews’ attitudes to- wards Jews and, in particular, an- tisemitism. So if we look at the 1900s and the period up to, we’ll say 1938 in Poland, the belief was that Jewish women were “nymphomaniacs” and Jewish men were not to be trusted
26 SPRING 2025
The Kibbitz
teachings. Jewish teachings have al- ways been quite the opposite: sexual- ity, and in particular sexual pleasure, is a wife’s privilege and a husband’s responsibility. When I am asked to speak to groups of young, married, religiously obser- vant women in my capacity as a sex therapist whose research has focus- ed, among other things, on optimal sexual experiences, I’m often asked: Do you believe that niddah is a bless- ing for marriage? in the same way that Masters and Johnson were able to demonstrate through their research in 1966 and 1970 that focusing on in- tercourse can sap the erotic energy from a relationship. My answer is that I have no right to answer this ques- tion. In Judaism there are some laws that are to be followed because of their inherent value for communal life or interpersonal relationships — things such as thou shalt not bear false wit- ness or thou shalt not commit murder. And there are other categories of laws that are not intended to be explained or followed for rational purposes, but rather as articles of faith. I never answer the question about whether or not there is some marital benefit to following chukim [Biblical laws which are traditionally under- stood to have a meaning beyond hu- man comprehension]. I do not have the right to answer that question. One is scientific and the other is a matter of religious observance. Either you do it or you don’t do it because it enrich- es your life as a practitioner of your re- ligion. A chok is not supposed to be subject to justification. There is a crossover every once in a while. If I think of the people I in- terviewed for my research on opti- mal sexual experiences, every once in a while, I’d be speaking to someone who would say, Thank G-d for Shab- bos. This is how we make the angels
“There are a lot of people, including some who consider themselves fairly learned about Judaism, who were not taught much about authentic, traditional aspects of sexuality within Judaism.”
that shows periods of abstinence can be beneficial? Isn’t it interesting what we choose to teach, and what gets left out of our teachings? Whether it’s in secular, feminist contexts (such as when I’m at a univer- sity) or when I’m speaking to a Jewish audience, I find it remarkable that ev- eryone has heard about what they in- terpret as sex-negative practices, such
as niddah, but they have somehow managed not to have learned about onah [the Biblical obligation to sexual- ly satisfy one’s wife] —which is, as far as I can tell, unique to Judaism. When I cover the history of sexu- ality in Western civilization, students are always very surprised at the no- tion that sexuality is a husband’s priv- ilege; the idea that it is a wife’s obli- gation really comes out of Christian
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The Kibbitz
“Jewish teachings have always held that sexuality, and in particular sexual pleasure, is a wife’s privilege and a husband’s responsibility.”
sing. This is a time of uninterrupt- ed union that is incredibly erotic and that we anticipate and savor as we look forward to time outside of time to do nothing but be with each other and bring the full kavanah to it. That’s not the purpose of observing Shabbat. But if that happens to work out, isn’t that wonderful? What are some of the differences between how people talk about sex within contemporary culture versus how they experience it in private? So in terms of contemporary culture in general, it’s the fact that there’s such a discrepancy between the os- tensible openness about sexuality in the public domain and the inability to talk about sexuality openly in the private domain that keeps me in busi- ness. In the 1950s, when public dis- cussion about sexuality was more ta- boo, if people had sexual problems they figured everybody else did too. They didn’t like it, but they proba- bly didn’t think it was the end of the world, and they were going to some- how grit their teeth and make their way through it. In 2024, everybody as- sumes, based on the discourse in the public domain, that everybody else is having great sex except for them. They feel, Oh no, I’m not keeping up with the Joneses, I’m not having enough sex, I’m not having sex with the same frequency as everybody else, my sex doesn’t always seem easy and effort- less, it doesn’t always end in orgasm. They walk into my office filled with shame and feeling defective. The first thing I need to do is deal with their sense of alienation from what they perceive as everyone else’s wonder- ful sex life. I have documented that really won- derful sex will require effort. It shouldn’t feel like work if you’re doing it right, but it does require a measure of de-
potentials and become the lovers that they only glimmered that they might be earlier on was generally some- where in their 50s. That was true for the older, partnered people and for the kinky, consensually non-monog- amous LGBTQIA+ people, etc. They all needed to have had a measure of devotion in order to fulfill their po- tentials as lovers. And that meant that they learned from each experience. I remember one participant saying that even the bad experiences are worth learning from. What are some lessons that the Jewish community can learn from other faith traditions that are sur- prising? Is there something that Anglicans or Muslims can teach Jews about great sex? No. In 2013, my research team at the University of Ottawa wrote an arti- cle saying that optimal sexual expe- riences are virtually identical, regard- less of the demographic background of the participants. We all glow in the dark identically. There’s an assump- tion that men and women are fun- damentally different sexually, or that old people or young people are fun- damentally different sexually, or that people who are kinky versus people who are vanilla are fundamentally dif- ferent sexually, or that people who are LGBTQIA+ are fundamentally differ- ent from people who are heterosexu- al. Our research has found quite the opposite. What our research has discovered is that, regardless of the stereotypes, the fundamental character of wonder- ful, memorable—what we call “opti- mal sexual experiences” — are indis- tinguishable regardless of the back- ground of the participant.
votion, of intentionality, like anything else that’s worth experiencing in life. I think the word that summarizes all of this from a Jewish perspective and was used occasionally by some of our participants who happened to be religiously observant Jews was kavanah [intention to perform a mitz- vah ]. It’s about the way we transform something that could be mundane into something that could be tran- scendent. In my research, one of the ques- tions we sought to answer is: How does one become an extraordinary lover? We literally asked: Were you born this way? Were you born under a lucky star? How did this happen? All of the people we interviewed, re- gardless of background, cracked up laughing at the question because it wasn’t something that happened nat- urally, it wasn’t something that hap- pened spontaneously. It was some- thing that took years of intentionality and effort; the average age at which people started to fulfill their erotic
This interview was edited for length and clarity.
28 SPRING 2025
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On One Foot
HOW SHOULD YOUR JEWISH VALUES AFFECT YOUR VOTE?
Just like Hillel’s student, we all have complex questions that we want answered as simply as possible. Here, we consider a question of contemporary relevance and consider how sources, both classical and modern, address it. by AVI FINEGOLD
SAMSON RAPHAEL HIRSCH, NINETEEN LETTERS (1836) To be pushed back and limited upon the path of life is … not an essential con- dition of the Galuth, Israel’s exile state among the nations, but, on the con- trary, it is our duty to join ourselves as closely as possible to the state which receives us into its midst, to promote its welfare and not to consider our well-being as in any way separate from that of the state to which we belong. 1 RABBI MOSHE FEINSTEIN IN AN OPEN LETTER TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY (1984) A fundamental principle of Judaism is hakaras hatov — recognizing bene- fits afforded us and giving expression to our appreciation. Therefore, it is in- cumbent upon each Jewish citizen to participate in the democratic system which guards the freedoms we enjoy. The most fundamental responsibility of each individual is to register and to vote. Therefore, I urge all members of the Jewish community to fulfill their obliga- tions by registering as soon as possible, and by voting. By this, we can express our appreciation and contribute to the continued security of our community. 2 The king by justice establisheth the land, but the man who sets himself apart overthroweth it (Proverbs 29:4). The Torah’s king rules through justice and thereby causes the earth to endure, but the man who sets himself apart overthrows it. This implies that if a man acts as though he were separate by secluding himself in the corner of his home and declaring: “What concern are the problems of the community to me? What does their judgment mean to me? Why should I listen to them? I will do well (without them),” he helps to destroy the world. 3 MIDRASH TANCHUMA, MISHPATIM 2:1 (SEVENTH-TENTH CENTURY CE)
JEWS have always had interactions with governing bodies. Consider the shtad- lan — a term that refers to a Jewish leader who lobbied on behalf of the communi- ty to the local government. The shtadlan as a mainstay of Jewish communities rose to prominence in Europe in the seventeenth century, but the name and concept go back via Christian and Muslim Spain all the way to tenth century Baghdad, and just about anywhere else the Jews governed them- selves but still had to inter- act with whatever civic authorities were in charge. Historically, this lobby- ing tended to be exclusively regarding affairs that mat- tered to the Jewish commu- nity specifically — which generally meant trying to avoid blood libels or inquisitions — but was not a mechanism for trying to influence policies more broadly. By the twentieth
30 SPRING 2025
On One Foot
century, Jews had attained a great level of confidence and security in diaspora society, and Jewish groups were advocating for Jewish values in larger society. This began with liberal commu- nities and social welfare/ tikun olam advocacy; the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism was found- ed in 1959. Eventually, Or- thodox groups developed the confidence to follow suit (the Orthodox Union founded their Institute for Public Affairs in the 1980s)
Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz PRESIDENT AND DEAN, VALLEY BEIT MIDRASH
— especially if they feel that the existing voices on a top- ic are misrepresenting what they feel Judaism actually says. Canadians will be head- ing to the polls to vote in a federal election sometime this year. Should we be pre- senting and advocating for our values in public? Are there benefits? Limitations? Should we be taking our Ju- daism into account when considering issues such as abortion or immigration?
ONE THING that’s clear to me from the last year is that my love for the Jewish people has reshaped my social justice ac- tivism in that as much as I may care about racial justice or im- migrant rights or climate change or reproductive rights, I won’t work with groups that are an- ti-Israel or who are antisemitic. I kind of think of it as: halakhah doesn’t tell me what to do on this, but it does give some red lines, some broader parameters. Within those red lines, what’s going to guide me then is a sense of what’s reasonable, and a general sense of empathy. I find it to be problematic for one’s Ju- daism to be in any way perfectly overlapping with partisan pol- itics. I think that, from Jewish sources, we have a thrust in a certain direction [on many is- sues]. How that gets concret- ized is where it gets subjective.
1 HERE WE SEE HIRSCH, a leading rabbi of nineteenth century Germany, making a strong defence of modernism — in stark contrast to much of the isolationism that the burgeoning Hassidic movement was bringing to Juda- ism at the time. 2 PERHAPS THE MOST FAMOUS Jewish legal authority of the twentieth century, it’s notable that Feinstein isn’t advocating for bringing your Jew- ish values into the polling booth here. You could either interpret this as be- ing because it was obvious to him that you should do so, or as evidence that Jewish values aren’t relevant when you decide how to vote. Here as always, the text becomes a mirror for your own ideas. 3 A LATER MIDRASHIC COLLECTION, this was clearly written in a context where Jews were governing themselves. It is nevertheless instructive here for its bias towards action, and participating in social issues. One might imag- ine that the author would be inclined to extend this exhortation to argue for justice in the general social sphere as well as the Jewish one.
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On One Foot
interests of Judaism to support the continued grant- ing of basic civil rights to all, while making clear our moral opposition to the underlying conduct of those who exercise their freedom in violation of basic eth- ical norms of Judaism. We are providing no moral legitimization for an activity if we seek to prohib- it firing a person from his or her job because of it. Orthodox Judaism should seek to prohibit people from being fired from their jobs or evicted from their homes for reasons unrelated to their suitability for the job or the place of residence. This rule is in our own best interest, whereas a rule which allows eco- nomic discrimination based on society’s perception of a person’s private morality or religiosity is not. 5 Tikkun olam (social activism, or literally “world re- pair”) is an attempt to repair breaches of justice in our world. Tikkun olam is a central wellspring of spir- ituality and meaning for many contemporary Jews. The Reconstructionist movement has helped define the vanguard of social justice in the Jewish commu- nity, advancing causes from equality for women and LGBTQIA folks, to policy-shifting advocacy work in multi-racial, interfaith coalitions. The centrality of working for social justice was part of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan’s earliest vision for Reconstructionism. Tik- kun olam continues to be a central pillar for our work to build a more just, equitable, diverse, and inclusive world and in our approach to Jewish life: RECONSTRUCTING JUDAISM (FROM THEIR WEBSITE) “The Jewish protagonists of social idealism should realize that the Jewish religion came into being as a result of the first attempt to conceive of God as the defender of the weak against the strong and that it can therefore continue to serve as the inspiration in the present struggle.” 6
TALMUD BAVLI, GITTIN 55B (THIRD-SIXTH CENTURY CE)
The Talmud introduces a story about a man, Bar Kamtza, who out of desire for revenge against anoth- er man, went to the Roman authorities and told them that the Jews were rebelling. He advised the emperor to send a calf as an offering and see if the Jews would sacrifice it. En route to the rabbis with the animal, Bar Kamtza deliberately blemished the calf, thereby inval- idating it for sacrifice at the temple. The Sages thought to sacrifice the animal as an of- fering regardless of the blemish, due to the impera- tive to maintain peace with the government. Rabbi Zekharya ben Avkolas said to them: If the priests do that, people will say that blemished animals may be sacrificed as offerings on the altar. The Sages said: If we do not sacrifice it, then we must prevent Bar Kamtza from reporting this to the emperor. The Sages thought to kill him so that he would not go and speak against them. Rabbi Zekharya said to them: If you kill him, people will say that one who makes a blemish on sacrificial animals is to be killed. As a re- sult, they did nothing, Bar Kamtza’s slander was ac- cepted by the authorities, and consequently the war between the Jews and the Romans began. Rabbi Yohanan says: The excessive humility of Rabbi Zekharya ben Avkolas destroyed our Temple, burned our Sanctuary, and exiled us from our land. 4 MICHAEL BROYDE, JEWISH ACTION (FALL 1993) 5 Even though homosexual conduct violates Jewish law and morality, the question of the Jewish position on homosexual rights laws should be based on a bal- ance between Judaism’s mandate to make the world a better place and the realpolitik needs to avoid en- dangering Jews’ well-being in America and to fos- ter our own growth and success here. Applying this balance to the case of homosexual rights in Ameri- ca leads this author to conclude that it is in the best
32 SPRING 2025
On One Foot
Rabba Rori Picker Neiss SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT FOR COMMUNITY RELATIONS, JEWISH COUNCIL FOR PUBLIC AFFAIRS
WE COME at issues as the sum total of all of our being and experiences. I’ll get asked about an issue as a woman or as an Orthodox Jew or as a mother, and it’s hard to isolate where are our Jewish values compared to our Ameri- can values, compared to our moral val- ues that we may or may not think of as connected to our Jewish values. I am seeing the Jewish communi- ty wrestling with the ways in which
we feel this need to prioritize a safety and security of the Jewish communi- ty. Do we think that we need to pri- oritize fighting antisemitism? Do we need to prioritize a relationship with Israel? Are these issues that we think ultimately make the Jewish communi- ty most safe? Or do we recognize the ways in which civil liberties and mi- nority rights ultimately are what keeps the Jewish community most safe?
I think that’s the tension that we’re sit- ting with. I have a hard time with [this in- creased focus on prioritizing commu- nal safety] because I think it’s actually really dangerous for the Jewish com- munity. I think that the Jewish com- munity shifting in this direction is not ultimately going to be good for the Jews, in part because the Jewish com- munity is never going to be influential enough or have enough of a presence in either the American or the Canadi- an context for our values to be what takes hold. So the only way that nar- rative actually moves forward is by ty- ing this idea of Jewish values to other values that are more represented in the majority.
4 IN OTHER WORDS, as a result of Rabbi Zekharya’s decision to not go to the authorities and explain the Jewish laws vis-à-vis temple sac- rifices, the Romans’ offering was refused and they took offence. This re- sulted in the war that destroyed the temple and sent the Jews into exile. The rabbis were keenly aware, even when living in a semi-autonomous state, that the community needed to not only maintain their laws and values, but to advocate for these laws to the authorities. The message is clear: sticking to your own community and not speaking truth to power can cause a community’s downfall. 5 BROYDE, A SCHOLAR OF LAW AND RELIGION (it must be noted that he was at the centre of a scandal when he gained access to private message boards using a pseudonym in order to promote his own work), wrote this in response to an article about the Jewish communal attitude to the gay-rights movement. His argument echoes the shtadlanim of the past whose primary responsibility was the protection of Jewish commu- nal interests. 6 HERE, THE VERY FACT that people feel compelled to do good in the world is understood to be, in and of itself, a Jewish value. The term tikun olam and the idea it represents has a very complicated history. For many Jews it has become the very essence of Judaism, while for others it barely even registers.
TO RETURN to the idea of the shtadlan , the fundamental shift in modernity was, per- haps, not whether one should advocate for Judaism beyond the narrow scope of par- ticular Jewish interests. Rather, it concerns our ability to vote and advocate for what we think is best, often individually, indepen- dent of an overarching Jewish communal response. This ability to be your own shtad- lan should be taken to heart. Should you consider your Jewish values when you go to the ballot box? Absolutely — but what that looks like is going to be different for each of us. For some, it will be limited and relate to issues that directly affect Jews, such as an- tisemitism or a given candidate’s voting re- cord regarding Israel. For others, it will have a broader scope, encompassing social issues that their understanding of Judaism speaks to (however they interpret the sources and whatever they think Judaism has to say about them). All of these have precedent, and all fall within Jewish understandings of civic engagement.
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