EATING OUR FEELINGS
the twentieth century, when the two immigrant groups lived in close proximity in New York’s Lower East Side. “Jews would go out for Chinese food on Sun- days, when they felt left out of church lunch,” he told VOX in 2020. Plaut cites the lack of dairy in Chinese cuisines in explain- ing the Jewish embrace of Chi- nese restaurants over the Ital- ian options that were also prom- inent in the neighbourhood. Ital- ian cooking’s frequent mixing of cheese and meat, along with the Christian iconography com- mon in those spaces, made them a much less accessible option. Chinese restaurants were also a place where Jews could indulge in “safe treyf” —a term coined by sociologist Gaye Tuchman for foods that may contain non-ko- sher ingredients such as pork or shellfish, but finely minced, or sufficiently hidden by a dump- ling’s exterior, to give plausible deniability to the eater. Though Schwartz is passion- ate about his noodle commit- ments—which his wife doesn’t share — these marital differenc- es are fortunately not irrecon- cilable. “When we [would] go to Cantonese restaurants,” says Schwartz, “it took a lot of prac- tice for us to get to a place where we had an order down that was agreeable for both of us.” If marriage is about compro- mise, then finding the perfect sharing order with your spouse in a restaurant can be a Churchil- lian feat of negotiation. You’re both hungry, and therefore less rational than usual. Pushing too hard for the dishes you want, could breed resentment with a negotiating partner who you will
it’s a lot of work. But I love it be- cause it’s a lot of work.” Hatuka, meanwhile, has her own preferences. “She always wanted the bat- tered fried stuff like lemon chick- en or sesame chicken. Or anoth- er one that we battled over, that I’ll just never give into: Shang- hai noodles, which have noth- ing to do with Shanghai. They’re branded that way on the bag by the company that makes them, but they’re nowhere to be found in Shanghai.” At Swatow Restau- rant, a few blocks from their home, the couple has resolved their dinner order, which may be one of the greatest relationship investments they’ll ever make. “We’ll interchange some things here and there. But, for the most part, we’ve got our sta- ples,” says Schwartz. “We’re al- ways getting the scrambled egg with shrimp and rice, ho fun (rice noodles), the Canadian brocco- li with garlic sauce and shrimp, and wonton soup. Very specific. We’re fine tuned.” If you ask a Jewish chef about
sleep next to that night, and for the rest of your life. “Why did I let you get that lamb dish?” is not something anyone wants to hear shouted at them from the bath- room at 2 a.m. “We have differ- ent preferences,” says Schwartz. “I like things with the grapple factor. She doesn’t.” Grapple factor refers to foods that require more work to eat, compared to the North American expectation of proteins that are free of bones, shells, fat, or chew. This is Schwartz’ sweet spot. At dim sum, I’ve watched him im- mediately tick off the boxes for chicken feet and beef tendon. “For example, a dish my dad and I used to always get at Swatow that I can only really eat when I’m not with Tal, be- cause she will not indulge me in it, is their chicken hotpot,” says Schwartz. “Imagine eating chicken wings — cut into thirds, fried and braised, and put in a sizzling pot with bamboo and black mushroom—with chop- sticks. And the skin is tight. It’s not crispy. She hates it because
Simple is best Though this seems like it might be an omelette, the trick of these eggs is in the cornstarch slurry.
54 SPRING 2025
Made with FlippingBook Digital Proposal Creator