Newsletter MADD Teen Influencer February 2023: Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month
What's Love Got To Do With It? Check out our workshop to learn about setting boundaries, recognizing red flags and the importance of healthy relationships.
Safe Love
Deciding to Date
Learn the important signs of many faltering relationships and how to heal them.
Should academics or love come first? What influences many teens' decisions to date?
1 By Kelly Halliburton, MADD Newsletter Chair Dating Responsibly, Loving Always
Dating is often associated with pleasant and romantic gestures: hand-holding, buying bundles of roses, hugging warmly. Many teenagers seek to find partners to experience the warmth of loving another human being in a new way. But what about the relationships that go wrong? There’s several songs about them. Rageful exes, divorce duties. Unfortunately, teenage love can turn uglier than a simple break up. Here’s how to stay safe or respectfully leave a toxic relationship.
First, it is crucial that you recognize harmful insults are a sign of superficial feelings. When a partner is angered, a lack of restraint is a red flag. Do your friends disagree with them? If so, query as to which traits are of concern. You cannot always confront a narcissistic boyfriend or girlfriend. They will often act out defensively and criticize anything they can hold above you. Sometimes, it is best to distance yourself and leave. It’s harder than it sounds, but keeping your self-respect is an important part of dating.
MADD Teen Influencer
February 2023
Second, you should take notice of the social cues and messages your partner sends you. Here are a few examples of blaming, gaslighting, and manipulating:
Consistent or uncountable refusal to meet Using swear words or inappropriate comments to refer to others Gossiping about other people
Third, the most overlooked signal of a failing relationship is fake apologies. Everyone who dates wants the love of their life to be faithful. While forgiveness is a necessary portion of a healthy dating life, it can also be abused. For instance, if your partner apologizes multiple times without making a change, then it may be time to consider breaking up. Your high school and college years are short. If you do not feel satisfied with your partner, do not feel guilty to stand up for yourself.
Is There Hope for Healing?
High school partners rarely stay together for a lifetime. However, a relationship therapist is useful! These trained professionals can help discuss any challenges between boyfriends/girlfriends. Journaling and constructive discussions are useful methods of learning to love despite challenging circumstances.
To prevent any further damage in your relationship, it is recommended that you respect each other’s boundaries. If a significant other asks to be left alone, this does not mean he/she/they doesn't love you. While the two of you are bound together in love, you are both separate people. It is significant to acknowledge this without taking it personally. What is not okay in a relationship? It may be best to break up if your boyfriend/girlfriend constantly “hides” from you, hold “things over your head”, or insults you. It is extremely serious if your partner begins to sexually assault, grope, or hit you without consent. It is never okay, even if you love them.
MADD Teen Influencer
February 2023
Ask A Teen Influencer Looking for some advice? Each month our MADD Teen Influencers will offer helpful tips based on questions submitted by other teens. You can submit questions anonymously with the link below or by clicking on the icon to the left. TINYURL.COM/MADDTEENADVICE
2 Teen Dating: To Date or Not to Date? By Benjamin Haworth, MADD Teen Influencer
As a sixteen-year-old high school sophomore, I have yet to go on a first date. Like so many teenagers, I find it difficult to balance the demands of a rigorous academic workload with daily sports practices, in addition to extracurriculars outside of school. This is especially true now that the college admission competition is at an all-time high.
There just aren’t enough hours in the day for me to sleep and keep my grades up, let alone devote the time to a romantic relationship. Recently, I asked my classmates their thoughts on dating. I was surprised at their responses. Around ninety percent of the peers I spoke to told me they do not have time to date or really have no desire to have a relationship. Some said their parents wouldn’t allow them to date for fear that “My grades will suffer and I won’t get into a good college.” However, there are a few diehard romantics at my school who consider dating an essential rite of passage. These select few told me, “Without dating in high school, you might be socially awkward in the future and end up depressed or lonely.” One friend in particular mentioned she only dates, “to distract myself from the pressures of school and to relieve anxiety in general. It’s a mental health thing. ”It made me wonder: Is dating actually good for us? Or is it just another thing to add on to the already-packed to-do list of all teens?
MADD Teen Influencer
February 2023
According to a study by The Journal of School Health, students not in a romantic relationship had stronger social skills and were less depressed than their peers. The study came from survey-based research of 594 students in the 10th grade and concluded that students who weren’t dating had significantly higher teacher ratings of social skills and leadership. “All students had similar scores of positive relationships with friends and showed no difference in frequency of suicidal thoughts.” Regardless of your stance on dating as a teenager, when it comes down to it, dating really is a personal choice. For now, I’m planning on taking things day by day. Why pressure yourself? Teens are already up against a huge amount of stress. Still, you never know. Love might be just around the corner.
Nominate an Influencer of the Month! Do you know an influential teen who is a great role model? We would love to spotlight them! Click on the icon to the left or use the link below to share why they should be MADD's Influencer of the Month!
TINYURL.COM/MADDIOTM
MADD Teen Influencer
February 2023
3 What's Love Got To Do With It? By MADD Southern California Staff
In case you missed it, MADD Program Specialist Victoria Placencia and Victim Services Specialist Karen Glaspie hosted "What's Love Got To Do With It?" for teens and young adults on Monday, February 13th via Zoom Webinar. The workshop was designed to help: (1) empower youth to choose relationships based on equity, care, and safety (2) raise awareness on the warning signs of coercive control including alcohol coercion (3) encourage them on how to state clear boundaries Check out the recording to learn more about identifying red flags, various definitions like coercion, manipulating, and gaslighting, and to practice setting boundaries in both friendships and romantic relationships. Contact Victoria.Placencia@madd.org or Karen.Galspie@madd.org for more info.
MADD's mission is to end drunk driving, help fight drugged driving, support the victims of these violent crimes, and prevent underage drinking. The purpose of the Teen Influencer Group is to provide leadership development for teens by training them to be peer-to-peer educators. These teens provide MADD with the youth perspective and use their voice to educate the public. By reducing and then eliminating underage drinking, these teens will help MADD end drunk driving.
@MADDCalifornia
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