Attraction and Persuasion
guy doesn’t know if you need a minivan for your five kids and a dog or if you’re just shopping for yourself. He’s already in his pitch mode before you get done saying good morning. He’s already selling to you before he takes a minute to make you feel understood. Sales go horribly wrong when the pitch is just about pushing a product. I can’t stress enough that understanding how others think is the foundation of attraction and persuasion. You see, so many times in life we find ourselves just waiting for the other person to be quiet so we can talk. Is that us wanting to under- stand people or is that us wanting people to understand us? When was the last time you had a conversation with someone and you looked her directly in the eyes and you heard every word she said, and actually listened to understand everything she was expressing to you? That’s why it blows my mind when I walk into a big meet- ing and someone is trying to close a deal and all I hear is “me and I.” There is a better way to make deals happen and to have people do the things that you want them to do! Because if you think about it, a lot of times selling is just giving people a solu- tion to their problem. My team calls me the “problem solver,” and I’ve learned through years of experience that this is a much more effective way to persuade and attract than any other method. In a recent company meeting my event coordinator said, “When there’s a problem or a conflict, Dean just knows how to come in and solve it.” And believe me it’s so much easier than people perceive it to be. I don’t solve it by coming in and talking up a storm and insisting, “I can do this” and “Listen to me.” Instead, I come in and I simply have the habit of listening to understand. I want to know why one person thinks the way he does and why someone else thinks the way she does. Not just the words they speak, but the meaning behind their words! And guess what? I learn some- thing about the people in the room, and they literally tell me how to solve the problem or clear the confusion. Then when I solve it, I look like a magician when truly they provided me with
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