After the “Yes”
You see, we have this tendency to be in physical proximity to our families but not camp out in their thoughts. We often finish their sentences rather than let them tell us what’s on their minds. Or they come home from school and we say, “How was school?” And they say, “Good,” and walk into their room, and the conversation is over. Instead, what if you look your children in the eyes and ask them questions that you know can engage you both in a con- versation and further the relationship? What if instead of “How was school?” you asked, “At recess today did you and Scott play football, or did you play soccer, or did you stay inside and read? Oh, you read today because it was so hot outside. Are you read- ing that cool book Where the Wild Things Are still?” Or if you have older kids, and you know that your daughter is frustrated with her job, what if instead of “How is work?” you ask something like, “Is Mr. Smith still making you work late? Have you taken that trip to Vermont you promised yourself in July?” All of a sudden, you’re no longer just talking to hear yourself talk and asking generic questions. Instead, your kids know that you care and that creates massive connection. Now maybe you don’t have kids or you are wondering why I shared so much about parenting. It’s because kids touch our hearts, and you should be trying to touch the hearts of everyone from your spouse to your clients, even though they have already said yes to you. If you don’t understand their fears and camp out with their issues, they are going to move on to somebody else who will show them they care. One of the worst things I see, especially in bigger compa- nies, is when a committee tries to decide what other people want and need. I know I stated previously that people will buy what they want, not necessarily what they need, but let’s talk about what takes place after they have become your client or customer. When your company gives a lot of refunds, receives nu- merous returns, fails to have people make repeat purchases, or doesn’t have many long-term customers, the problem is a failure to camp out in people’s minds. Instead, you have started to as- sume what they want and what they need. When a committee
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