The Villain Within
I want to film an infomercial for my new book, and I don’t want to wait because I’m fired up right now.” I have to admit, I was aggravated that all these people were robbing my students of their next level of freedom with often well-intentioned but destructive suggestions. So I got to my stu- dio, threw on a sports jacket and a tie (still wearing my gym shorts and sneakers, which were hidden by the desk I sat be- hind), and we started filming. From there, I proceeded to do my first ever direct-to-camera infomercial, which means no host, no announcers, no fancy graphics, just me talking to the camera for half an hour and offering my book to viewers a few times throughout the show. But I did the show with pure passion, no notes, and no script. I wanted nothing more than to serve and help people. And what was on my mind? The bad advice that was robbing my students of their confidence, happiness, and ability to go to that next level. So as I was recording the show, I found myself saying something I hadn’t planned to say, but it just emerged in the moment! I looked at the camera and said, “I really want you all to listen. You can’t ever take advice from people who have failed at what you want to accomplish. You may think you can learn from their mistakes, but in most cases you sim- ply can’t! They only know how to do it wrong, and they’ll put the wrong spin on any advice they give you. For example, my parents have been married nine times between them. I love them dearly, and they’re both in amazing relationships right now, but as I was growing up, marriage wasn’t something ei- ther one of them was great at. If I want advice on relationships and marriage, I’m going to find a couple who’s been married for 30 or 50 years—who has intimacy, passion, and love for each other. Not from someone who’s been in and out of rela- tionships their whole life.” And I meant what I said because it was the truth. And I want to stress again, I love my parents dearly, and I’m not trying to make light of the many hard times they must have experienced, but the truth is that taking advice from them about marriage would be like asking Bernie Madoff for a lesson on ethics.
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