The Kibbitz
This raises an interesting question: to what extent do we conflate con- formity with conviction? On the Haredi side, the argument is that the only thing we have to go on is conformity, and if someone main- tains that conformity for two years they must be sincere, because no- body would pick this otherwise. On the other hand, there’s sometimes a reluctance to ask really hard ques- tions about what people actually be- lieve. How do we balance? It’s very hard to judge sincerity. The only thing we can judge is commit- ment. If someone goes to shul, they are committed. I don’t know what they’re thinking when they say Sh’ma Yisrael, but they’re going to shul on Shabbos, going to Friday-night dinners, participating. If their house is kosher, that’s a certain type of commitment. I had a similar situation. Someone at a shul I was working at wanted his wife to convert, and he was born Jewish. He complained: “All these things you’re asking of me, none of my friends do—and they were born Jewish. Their kids can have bar mitzvahs, and you’re asking us to come to shul every Shabbos for a year without missing anything.” My only response was that, once you’re in, you get more leeway. But in order to get in you have to show your commitment. He said it wasn’t fair, and I somewhat agree with him. That’s a very serious point. It is true that I want converts to come to shul more regularly. If my congregants skip a couple of weeks, they skip a couple of weeks. If a convert skips two weeks, I want to know what’s up. Conversion doesn’t just have reli- gious barriers; Jewish society is in- sular. Do we have a responsibility to
there’s homework after every class. Everybody gets a scorecard which they can access. We want them all to get 100%, but they have to earn it. If they do the homework, we’ll help them get the right answers. But, if we see that, out of 25 classes they were absent for 10, and out of the 15 they attended they only did the homework for three — then they’re not ready for conversion. The good thing about Google Classroom and CRMs [user platforms] and the internet is they don’t lie. If they were in the class, we know they were in the class. In addition to that, we want each conversion candidate to be part of a shul. That’s not always simple: they don’t always live walking distance to a shul or in a community with an Ortho- dox shul, so we help them find one. At the end, we ask for a letter from their rabbi confirming they attended shul for at least three months.
wrong. Nobody’s rejected, but I can tell whether this is going to be a good fit, whether this person is right for an Orthodox conversion, or wheth- er they’re searching but don’t quite know what they want. Sometimes I can direct them elsewhere. Some- times the whole thing might not be right for them. Can you tell me about Project Ruth? What made me start it was that so many people wanted to convert that I felt I needed a system. What we do in Project Ruth is offer a series of online classes. We require every con- version candidate to take five five- part mini-series over a period of six to twelve months. Topics include Shabbos, kashrut , Pesach, t’filah , the laws of taharat hamishpacha for women—the basics of Jewish life. We try to make it very serious; at- tendance is taken at every class, and
5786 ַקִיץ 15
PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM LERNER
Made with FlippingBook Digital Proposal Creator