BY DEBBIE MORRILL
Healing is a journey
Many have asked me how I got involved in working with teens. I used to say I stumbled upon it. What is the truth? Did I live the life I did to gain knowledge I could offer others on their own journey? The answer lies in the journey… As a teen I carried much anger. I was consistently at odds with my family. To top it off, I had a son when I had just turned 20. While I loved him dearly, I brought a lot of childhood baggage into being a mom. I had many negative beliefs of not being worthy of love, being ugly, fat, an outcast and an all-around failure as a woman and daughter. Also, I believed I was weak if I asked for help. I didn’t know what healing was, or even words like choice, accountability and self-love. I only knew self-punishment, pushing people away and attracting toxic/abusive relationships. I was quite comfortable with my struggles so I held onto them for many years. I’d say I wanted to be in charge of my life, have great relationships and be happy. Yet my outcomes where the same; my pain was the same. My issues felt like a massive mountain I could never climb. I began asking for assistance, yet didn’t know how to accept it...so I wouldn’t. What I really wanted was to be taken care of because I did not believe I had the power within me to heal. I would do some work and some things would change, such as getting rid of toxic friends and building positive friendships. However, the root of why I didn’t feel worthy of love stayed the same. In the midst of all this, something magical happened: I found my passion to work with teens and families. There was an excitement that permeated every part of my being-ness I had not experienced before. On cue, good ‘ole doubt raised its nasty head asking ’are you the right person to work with teens? You don’t even cook, still have messy family relationships...blah blah blah’.
‘SHUT UP’, I replied! For this joy of assisting youth was stronger. I changed careers, and left a comfortable, passionless job. Best decision ever was following my passion!
As I worked with teens and parents, I gave them loving advice which helped all of them tremendously, yet didn’t take this advice for myself.
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