CONT.
A wise teacher once stated: “how much pain one endures is always by choice, based upon the level of denial of their own heart.” I decided it was time for me to get really honest with myself. Did I really want to put in the work to create the change I desire? The answer was no. Because I didn’t believe joy or healing was possible. This was my lie I held onto for decades.
Getting real with myself was THE moment when I was able to get to work on the root of my pain.
As we all know, nothing changes when you’re comfortable. It takes courage to get uncomfortable. It also takes patience, having a strong support system in place, and being kind and gentle with yourself while you stumble and made mistakes you can learn from. Most of all it takes commitment (with passion) and consistent choices to support that commitment. It wasn’t until I was 100% committed to myself, that the real work began. It’s called forgiveness. I learned to fully forgive, one must: forgive self, the event and the other person/people. I had much to forgive. The key for me in this process was to be patient, compassionate with myself and to stop the judgement when it surfaced (which was a lot). This, for me, was very uncomfortable. It meant letting go of the pain and judgement I had been quite comfortable holding onto. No one else was involved in this work, only me. It also meant learning to accept assistance to support my journey. Assistance came in many different and unexpected ways and it was important for me to be open to it. Forgiveness was THE game changer in my life, as was being in gratitude often. My commitment has always been teaching youth they have a voice, they matter, they are worthy of love and they are loved. While I taught them and stood up for them, I ended up doing the same for myself and healed much of my mountain along the way. Last year, a wonderful teacher named Joseph shared that healing is a chain over time. If one is going to accept assistance and be willing to pass it on over time, this is a healing chain. It’s true I did the work. It is also true I had and have many wonderful teachers and support along the way for which I am eternally grateful. Most of all, it’s been such an honor to be in service to teens and their families. For we are all students, we are all teachers and everyone has the ability to love themselves and find their passion in life.
This beautiful and wild ride, I call the healing journey, continues.
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