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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 JANUARY | 2023
FIND IMPROVEMENT IN 2023 At the beginning of every year, individuals worldwide will take a few moments to envision what they BY CREATING A STRONG NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION
your initial goal, you can up the ante, but don’t start with an intense goal immediately.
want their year to look like and implement plans to ensure their vision can come to fruition. Many of us look forward to the tradition of creating New Year’s resolutions and have participated in the practice for years. If you’re planning to make a New Year’s resolution this year or if your children are interested in developing their own goals, it will take commitment and dedication to accomplish what you set out to do. Various studies over the years have shown that most people do not achieve their New Year’s resolutions, and recent research suggests that 64% of people give up within the first month. Creating goals at the beginning of the year is a great way to encourage self-growth, but it takes effort to actually see any progress. Thankfully, there are things you can do to ensure you accomplish your goals. If you or your children are planning to set New Year’s resolutions this year, utilize these tips to help you achieve your vision. Be realistic. A common mistake many make when creating goals is setting expectations too high. For example, many people resolve to get in shape during the new year, so they create a goal to lose 2–3 pounds per week. While you might start strong, this will quickly become unmanageable and lead to burnout. Be realistic and set goals that you can actually achieve. It’s okay to start small and build from there. Once you’ve reached
Create a plan. You need to do more than declare your resolution once you’ve created one. You need to develop a plan that
ensures your goals are achievable. Once you have established an end goal, think about the steps needed to reach it. Write out your plan and take it one step at a time. This is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. If you fail to create a plan, your resolution will become nothing more than a distant wish. Introduce accountability . What happens if your resolution is to get in shape, but you miss a scheduled gym day? Is there any kind of punishment for failing to reach your goals? How about a reward when you stick to the plan? It’s imperative that you have some level of accountability when trying to reach your goals. Create a discipline/reward system for yourself or post continuous updates of your progress on social media. You can even find an accountability partner who will help you maintain your plans, and you can do the same for them. Start with a moment of reflection. Take your time when creating a new goal or resolution. You want to choose something truly meaningful so that you can be proud of your progress. If you’re struggling to come up with anything significant, think about the previous year and what you could have done to improve it. Once you discover the areas you need improvement in, it will be much easier to decide on a goal that you want to accomplish. The new year provides us with a great opportunity to create goals that will help us better ourselves. Don’t waste this moment. Find out where you want to grow and start implementing plans to make it happen. —John Bledsoe
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WANT A BALANCED DIET?
Eat Dark Leafy Greens!
After a long day of work, sometimes we want nothing more than to come home and relax, unburdened by the worry of whether or not our dinner is healthy. Unfortunately, these days add up, and the longer these unhealthy meals continue, the worse it can be for you. So how can you still eat a balanced diet even when you’re exhausted or busy? The answer is to add dark leafy greens to your diet. While any vegetable is better than a burger or a cookie, darker greens — like spinach, kale, bok choy, and mustard greens — provide many impressive health benefits. Because of their rich color, these greens have higher folate levels, a B vitamin responsible for promoting heart health and preventing cancer.
Along with B vitamins, dark leafy greens have tons of vitamin K. This protects bones from osteoporosis and helps the body fight against inflammatory diseases. Their abundant antioxidants fight free radicals that can damage our cells and contain very low cholesterol levels. To top it off, they have minimal carbs and sodium too. Incorporating More Dark Greens Into Your Diet Unlike some people might think, you don’t need to eat a kale salad every night or Popeye your way through a can of spinach to consume a healthy amount of greens. Even if you’re in a rush, there are many simple ways to sneak some dark greens into your meals.
tuna salad or chicken breast, rolling it together with some dark greens and light sauce is an easy way to eat healthy while on the go. • Stir-fry your veggies with some chicken or tofu. Toss in greens like spinach, bok choy, or broccoli with garlic, onion, ginger, and soy sauce for an effortless weeknight meal. • Soften your greens in a soup . Even if you’re quickly making a can of Campbell's or ramen noodles, tossing your dark greens into the broth right before it’s done can help soften them. Just make sure to chop them so they’re small enough to slurp up from your spoon. Any way you prepare them, darker greens are better for your health. Try to incorporate them into at least one meal daily to receive the excellent benefits they provide.
• Wrap your favorite protein in a tortilla and add spinach, arugula, or kale. Whether it’s
DOES THIS SITUATION SOUND FAMILIAR?
WE CAN HELP YOU TOO!
Amanda would never have imagined that her husband was a narcissist. Amanda had always thought narcissists were charming, popular, and arrogant, but that’s not always the case. Amanda soon learned she was in a relationship with one of the most toxic narcissist subtypes, the covert narcissist. Her husband, Eric, wasn’t successful, charming, or arrogant. He wasn’t even handsome or suave. To most who knew him, he just seemed like an average guy — the sort who always went out of his way to help others. Amanda and Eric had a good start, but things got rocky quickly. Eric had trouble with his career. After flunking out of school, he found a full-time job in a local factory and spent the rest of his time drinking. Because the covert narcissist projects an outward image of low self-esteem and may even come across as a generally good person
at first glance, it’s harder for their targets to understand what is happening. Eventually, the covert narcissist starts abusing those who are intimate with them. As time goes on, their facade of humility is revealed as a mask to cover up their envy and entitlement. Since they “know” on the inside how much better they are, they feel entitled to misbehave in hidden (and some not-so-hidden) ways. Amanda began to notice how Eric used his “good guy” image to conceal his toxic interior. He felt entitled to act in violent and abusive ways behind the scenes. When Amanda initially reached out to friends and family, nobody could believe a great guy like Eric would do things like that! Living with a covert narcissist feels like having a secret vampire living in your house that everyone thinks is so lovely but is actually a
blood-sucking monster! Expelling the covert narcissist will make you feel like life is wonderful and brand new again. Thankfully, Amanda ended her relationship with Eric, and she can’t believe how much better she feels. If you have a covert narcissist in your life, you owe it to yourself to see how much better things can be when they’re gone.
This story has been shared with permission, and names have been changed to protect identities.
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W ord S earch Cocoa Fleece Frost Gloves Hibernation
Igloo Layers Penguin Scarf Sledding Tradition Wonderland
Especially During the Divorce Process DON’T MAKE THESE SOCIAL MEDIA MISTAKES For many of us, social media is an essential part of our lives, but Facebook posts, tweets, and other social media communications can come back to haunt you during your divorce. In some instances, your posts can even help cause your divorce. Since California is a no-fault state, these posts won’t impact the division of marital property unless they show you spent a substantial amount of money entertaining a paramour. However, social media posts can be used to show evidence of your character when addressing the issue of custody. They can even impact spousal support payments.
AIR FRYER ROASTED SALMON WITH SAUTÉED BALSAMIC SPINACH
Avoid making the following social media mistakes.
Making Lifestyle Posts Did you just buy a new car or take a great vacation? If you brag about it on social media, you’ll have difficulty convincing the judge you’re too poor to pay for a proposed alimony settlement. And if these posts betray a lifestyle higher than your reported income and assets might support, they can serve as a sign you are trying to hide assets. Complaints About Your Ex Complaining about your ex on social media will result in one of two results. It could make your ex too angry to settle, forcing you to go to trial, or it could make you look like the type to alienate your children from their other parent. This could significantly impact your children’s lives after custody has been settled. Questionable Photos If someone takes a picture of you drinking a beer at a party and “tags” you on social media, you could be in trouble. If you’re going to a party where drinks will be served, try to make it clear to all participants that you cannot be featured in any photos right now. If this ends up in court, it could show you are an unfit parent. Unfit parenting is one of the few things that can hand your spouse sole legal and physical custody of your children. Deleted Posts You should talk to your divorce lawyer before running off to fix past social media mistakes. Deleted posts can make a judge wonder what you’re trying to hide. If the judge is wondering what they are not seeing and is torn between two decisions, those deleted posts could create the tipping point that puts the entire divorce settlement in your ex’s favor.
Inspired by TasteOfHome.com
INGREDIENTS
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3 tsp olive oil, divided 4 salmon fillets (6 oz each) 1 1/2 tsp reduced-sodium seafood seasoning
pepper flakes
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10 cups fresh baby spinach (about 10 oz) 6 small tomatoes, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
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1/4 tsp pepper
1 garlic clove, sliced Dash of crushed red
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DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat air fryer to 450 F. Rub 1 tsp oil over both sides of salmon, then sprinkle with seafood seasoning and pepper. In a greased air fryer basket, place salmon. 2. Cook about 10–12 minutes until fish flakes easily. 3. In a 6-qt stockpot, place remaining oil, garlic, and pepper flakes. Heat over medium-low heat for 3-4 minutes. Increase heat to medium-high. Add spinach and cook until wilted. Stir in tomatoes; heat through. 4. In a small saucepan, bring vinegar to a boil. Cook until vinegar is reduced by half, then remove from heat. 5. Arrange spinach on serving dish. Place salmon over spinach mixture and drizzle with balsamic glaze.
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Inside
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4 Tricks to Maintain Your New Year’s Resolution
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Why Dark Leafy Greens Are Better for You Situations Involving Covert Narcissists
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4 Social Media Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce Air Fryer Roasted Salmon With Sautéed Balsamic Spinach
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3 Easy Ways to Exercise
11 MINUTES OF MOVEMENT A DAY CAN HELP KEEP DEPRESSION AWAY
Increased Walking Time If you’re not exercising already, you don’t need to start running a 5K tomorrow. Take it slow before building on the activity that’s already in your routine. The easiest way to hit that exercise mark is by slowly increasing the time you spend walking each day. If you work from home and never leave the couch, consider taking a lap around your house every 30 minutes. If you need to go grocery shopping, make yourself walk through every aisle or park your car farther away so you have a longer distance to walk. Get those steps in however you feel comfortable, but the goal is to walk for at least 11 minutes a day. Workout Videos When you’re depressed or feeling down, following a peppy exercise influencer in a
According to the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, depression affects 10% of Americans annually. And since the disorder doesn't pick favorites, anyone can suffer from its melancholy grasp. But there are things people can do to help. In fact, exercise has been known to help, but what if people are limited on time or motivation?
35-minute YouTube video is probably the last thing you want to do. But remember, you only need to start with 11 minutes a day. Simply choose a video and plan to only complete a portion of it. You can even choose to follow the easy parts, but set your timer for 11 minutes and follow along the best you can. Once your alarm goes off, reward yourself for getting that movement in! The Benefits of Dancing Any movement counts, even dancing. And you don’t need to be good at it to participate, either. To meet your 11 minutes, simply put on four of your favorite dance songs and bust a move! Even if it takes months to get there, moving your body a little each day will help. So, push that cart, pop on that video, or pull out your best dance moves to fight depression.
New research by JAMA Psychiatry shows that
completing just half of your recommended daily exercise (only 11 minutes!) can lower your risk of experiencing depression. So, when battling the blues, some exercise is always better than none. Here's how to squeeze that movement into your schedule.
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