not forsake this important time to gether. Then, there are also some fine Christian books written on the sub ject of marriage which can give you a greater insight into this vital area of life. Many couples wait un til it is almost too late in their re lationship before they try to find the necessary help. If this is your situation, you should not hesitate to seek out your pastor or a quali fied Christian counsellor who can provide the necessary assistance. In working with people, this is a most common failing and the scars have been too deeply etched to be healed. So often we fail to communicate our love for one another. Wives will say that their husbands do not love them anymore. They find their own love cooling. One problem may be a failure actually to say and to demonstrate how we feel. Gen erally husbands have trouble in being concerned with telling their wives that they do love them. This is true of the Lord, too. With all His great love for the world, if He had not manifested it in the sense of sending His Son, it would not have done the world any good. This is exactly true in marriage. We need to communicate the fact of love to the other person involved in our relationship. Q. "My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years. The problem is, however, he never tells me he loves me. He can be very kind and helpful with the children, as well as with the housework, but he never gets right down to ex pressing it in so many words. Is there anything I can do to encour age him?" Page 19
around the children. Once they have been reared and leave home, the only thing left are two strangers living together. They now have very little in common. Their interests are different and they have no mu tual concerns or needs to be met. In marriage counselling for Chris tians we have found that if an in dividual's communication between himself and the Lord is not what it should be, then it will generally affect the relationship with his spouse. This is the basic starting point to a firm understanding of why there may be problems in communicating in the home. Q. "What are some specific things a person can do as a Christian to make him or her a better marriage partner?" A. We would have to underscore again the question of the individ uals' relationship and commitment to the Lord. If that is not satisfac tory, there can be any number of other problems and difficult in volvements. On a positive plain, we should be more desirous and concerned about changing ourselves than de manding that our mates change. Phillips translates Romans 14:13, "Stop being so critical of one another. If you must be critical, be critical of yourself, and see that you do nothing to cause your brother to stumble." One good exercise would be to study together the book of Proverbs as a couple. All of the principles concerning communication found in those tre mendous verses and chapters are unexcelled. From there, go on to other portions of the Word. Do
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