Yet when parents give fair and clear rules, their children will never forget this benefit. Even the most successful person will remember his child hood with delight. The well-known theologian, Dr. John Baillie, gives this testimony to his parents’ training. “ I cannot remember a time when my life seemed to be my own to do with as I pleased. From the very beginning its center was not in itself or in me, but outside itself and me. I never supposed that it was merely a case of my father’s or mother’s will being pitted against my will, still less o f their power being pitted against my weakness. I knew they had a right to ask of me what they did, and that I had no right to refuse what they asked. I knew also that they desired it because it was already right. I understood that my parents were under the same constraint that they were so diligently transmitting to me; and I knew that the ultimate source of their authority, this constraint, was God.” We shall simplify our task o f teaching obedi ence to our children, by setting them a good ex ample. Albert Schweitzer once said that there were three important points to be remembered in bring ing up children. They were: example, example, example. It is a tragedy when a child sees that his parents look on authority as a nuisance and some thing to be avoided or side-stepped whenever pos sible. Before we cross a street, we stop, look and lis ten. We cross at the corners of the street and with the light favorable. This begins to instill in a child’s mind the need for doing it this way. We are more likely to influence him to obey rules at school, at home and at church, if he realizes that we are careful never to make any false statements in our returns of income. He is less likely to steal if he finds we always return any excess goods that have been sent to us by mistake. All rules are made in love to the child, for love is the vital element in a child’s life. This is not surprising for all the love that we show comes from our Father. “ Love is o f God” and “ God is love.” Love will bring trust. We obey our doctor’s unpalatable instructions because we trust him. We believe he knows best and that he cares about us. He has put himself out if necessary and has always helped when we have needed him. Similarly, with our children, we are to be warm, friendly and understanding at all times. We shall be prepared to help unravel the homework trou bles, to take them swimming at awkward times. Then they will trust us and usually do what we ask. As we see the results of enforcing obedience we shall be glad we insisted on making the rules and seeing they were obeyed. When a child has learned to obey the Lord, civil authority and ourselves, he is a valued mem ber of the church as well as of society. He is also a credit to our family. H*1
go’ theory. I have to keep my actions in line or I don’t get any privileges such as an allowance or the right to drive the car. If my dad sounds tough, he is. Furthermore, I’m happy he is tough because I’ve learned to earn my rights and privileges. My dad has never lied to me. I can depend on his word. He is fair.” Punishment is more readily accepted when the child is surrounded by love. Full forgiveness of the offense must follow at the earliest possible moment. As soon as the child repents of his wrong action, we assure him we have forgiven him. Words are underlined by appro priate actions, so that he is certain of our forgive ness. This forgiveness will include forgetting what took place. We must be careful never to refer to the offense again. In this way we shall imitate the Lord’s forgiveness o f sin and show our chil dren what Divine forgiveness means. Knowing that we have laid a sure foundation for our children to obey authority safeguards our peace of mind. Having drilled our children in road safety when we were with them gives us confidence that they will obey the rules when we are not there. Moreover, to obey without question can be a great advantage to a child especially in an emer gency. Should the child need an operation in a hospital, he will be required to obey. If he can do this without fuss, he will be less alarmed and bet ter prepared for the situation. As parents secure their children’s implicit sub mission to their authority, and by such means and influences that it is rendered cheerfully, under a sense of its rightness, peace and joy will follow. Our design in all our teaching and training is that our children should submit themselves to the Lord. Lack of surrender to parental authority makes it hard for the child to surrender to God. Jacob lived a self-centered life in his early years. Later he had to struggle hard to give in to God and submit to His complete authority. When obe dience to parents is established as a principle and wrought into a habit in the family circle, surrender to God comes easier. Requiring obedience from children is difficult and can be inconvenient. So some parents become lax in their insistence on discipline. True, parents are not expected to engage in communication that consists only o f “ don’t.” Yet parents who deny their children consistent disci pline can also deny them a secure place in adult life. Ineffective discipline will bring waves of pain ful results. This defect in his upbringing will seri ously handicap the child at school, as well as in his job and in his marriage when he gets older. His misconduct will frustrate his day school and Sun day school teachers. He will be unacceptable to all people he meets. They will dislike and blame him, though his parents are the true cause of his mis behavior.
THE KING'S BUSINESS
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