ble study. My job? Was my work slipping? Would I get that pro motion? That night after everyone went to bed, I read portions of Scrip ture to find comfort for my con fused and troubled soul. Psalm 32:5 hit me hard. I read it over and over. “7 acknowledged my sin unto thee . . . I will confess my transgressions into the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin.” So, I acknowledged , I con fessed, and the Lord forgave. It was as easy as that! I fell asleep that night talking to my Lord. The next morning I was a new man. I had that deep peace again. When Shirley left our home, I didn’t say good-bye. Instead I said, “ Thanks.” Her wink con firmed that she knew what I meant. She said she’d been doing some deeper thinking about “ hon esty” too. Then turning to my wife I said, “Honey, where are the girls? I’m going to buy them a milkshake. And . . . I want you to come along, too.” She promptly got the snif fles, but she put her hand tender ly on my cheek and whispered, “Welcome home, Bill.” No, I didn’t get the job pro motion; a younger man got it. Nor am I teaching Sunday school yet. I’m not quite ready for that. But I am reading and studying the Bible daily. And I’m regular ly attending church again . . . and I’ve never had such a prayer life! Shirley phoned recently to say she had accepted Christ. Our family devotions have taken on new meaning . . . and I have peace! Do I ever get a desire to read dirty books and engage in lustful activities? Truthfully, yes. But now I have a weapon — the same one that Joseph o f old had when he was tempted. My God-given defense is resisting and fleeing. When I see a rack of dirty books, I turn quickly away. Dirty books are cheap. But I can’t afford them. m
relationship. I went back to pros titutes. Then Shirley came to visit us for several days. She was a beau tiful divorcee who had been a classmate o f my wife in college. For years we had been witness ing to her about Christ. But she never made a decision. This was her first visit since I started reading dirty books. My wife went to a PTA meet ing, leaving me with the kids and Shirley. After the children were asleep we chatted pleasantly. As we talked, I became extremely aware o f her femininity. I no longer considered her a conquest for Christ, but simply a conquest. So, in my best dirty book style I propositioned her. Her reply changed my life. She said, “No, Bill, I’m not that kind o f person. True, I don’t go under the title of ‘Christian’ as you but I have prin ciples. One is honesty with myself and others.” Silence hung in the room for several minutes. Then kindly, but seriously she broke the silence by asking, “Do you have any principles?” I thought about her question. Instead of answering, I walked across the room and turned on the TV set. We watched for about an hour until my wife came home. As the women watched TV, I was mull ing over Shirley’s question. Did I have principles? Was I honest with myself? With others? Did this lust life really bring happi ness ? Where was that quiet peace I had before I started reading dirty books? I looked at my life squarely. I was a cheat and a disgrace to every th ing ca lle d decent. I thought of my kids. When was the last time I played with them, or bought them a milkshake, or even acted like a father? I thought o f my wife. What kind o f hardships and embarrassments did I bring into her life? Why didn’t she com plain ? She was too noble for that — she took her problems to the Lord. And my Sunday school class. Oh . . . how I longed to teach again and really enjoy Bi
Sunday morning I even taught my class with a splitting head ache caused by too much liquor the night before. Imagine, a Sun day school teacher with a hang over! Soon I started wondering what it would be like to actually expe rience some of the love scenes I had read about. One night, under the guise of a business trip, I went to a nearby city. Walking down one of the narrow side streets I entered a shady-looking bar. Forty-five minutes later I was with a prostitute. After I left her room, I sat in my car and wept and wept, vow ing never to do a thing like that again. Two dirty books later I had for gotten all about my vow. The next week I was with the same woman again. More followed. I thought it was fun, but my stomach was tied in a perpetual knot from liv ing in constant fear of being rec ognized. I quit my Sunday school class. My boss didn’t give me an expect ed raise in salary. So what! I was away from home several evenings a week now. My wife never questioned my activities, al though I noticed her eyes were usually rimmed in red when I came home late at night. She was always getting the sniffles when telling me about the kids and the fun they had at school or some of the cute things they said during devotions. I listened patiently, si lently wishing she would hurry up and go to bed so I could start reading my latest dirty book. By now I was getting tired of prostitutes. I found it humiliating to have to pay for my extracur ricular kicks. So I tried my luck at seduction. I knew a waitress at one of the diners who was hav ing trouble with her husband, so I invited her for a ride after she finished work one night. We stopped seeing each other after three months only because the pressure o f possible detection became too big a burden for eith er of us to carry, especially since there was no love attached to our
Reprinted from CHRISTIAN TIMES. Used by permission.
THE KING'S BUSINESS
22
Made with FlippingBook flipbook maker