King's Business - 1962-09

TALKING IT OVER Narramore Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States. with Dr. Clyde M .

lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.” The role of the mother-in-law may be difficult at times, but it is certain­ ly an important one, and it can be one of the greatest pleasures of your lifetime. It is hard for mothers to stop making suggestions just because their sons or daughters are married. But if you can realize that each family has its own entity, and that parents have no right to interfere with their children’s families, you will be hap­ pier and more appreciated. Actually, being a good mother-in- law is not too different from being a good person in any circumstance. I suggest that you train yourself to be an interested, understanding person, ready to help if requested. Be careful of expressing opinions unless you’re asked. A young couple will probably benefit more from dis­ cussing their problem with you than by getting your advice, and they’ll love you for it, too! In other words, they don’t need your suggestions as much as they need someone who will let them talk about their problems. You do have a prayer responsibili­ ty. This is a blessed ministry. Many of us know what it is to have a moth­ er-in-law who knows how to pray. If more mothers-in-law devoted them­ selves to prayer rather than interfer­ ing with their children’s families, everyone would be happier, and God would pour out great blessings. Most mothers-in-law who aren’t do­ ing so well, don’t realize the trouble is with them, and they aren’t seeking help. Since you are so open and frank with your question, wanting to im­ prove yourself, I can well imagine that you are a fine mother-in-law already.

RACIAL INTER-MARRIAGE Q. Is it advisable to marry one from a different race or culture? A. All races have dignity. However, differences in cultures and races may present serious hindrances to success­ ful marriage. This can be explained in the fact that such differences us­ ually mean differences in opinion, differences in desires, differences in tastes, differences in habits. Naturally, marriage partners must cooperate if they are to be happy. But it is impossible for them to coop­ erate if they disagree in their opin­ ions, desires, tastes, beliefs and habits. A couple from different cultures may “fall in love” and overlook their differences long enough to get mar­ ried, but as time goes on, it becomes apparent that basically, their differ­ ences in backgrounds are so marked that they may have a most unhappy situation. When those from different races marry, an additional burden of un­ acceptance is placed upon both the married partners and eventually upon their children. MOTHER-IN-LAW Q. I wish you would discuss how to be a good mother-in-law. I sometimes wonder if I’m doing so well. A. Although we hear a lot of jokes about the mother-in-law, I think for the most part she is well liked. Many people have told me that they loved their mother-in-law as much or more than they did their own mother. The beautiful Bible story of Ruth and Na­ omi presents a good mother-in-law relationship. Ruth even wanted and found God because of Naomi. “And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will

CHURCH IN SMOKE Q. I read your page in the “'King’s Business” each month. I have thought of writing you before, but 1 had just put it off. I have a church problem. 1 am an old man past 73 years of age. I belong to a little church where the pastor and our Sunday school teach­ ers are cigarette smokers. I have a granddaughter whose Sunday School teacher is a smoker. Lately the young people of our church have been stand­ ing on the church porch and smoking, not caring who sees them. Do you think the Lord calls cig­ arette smokers to do His work? A . I can appreciate your concern for your church and for the young people who are exposed to such a program. The trouble with them is that they are apparently unsaved, or they are carnal Christians. There are literally multitudes of churchgoers who have never been born again, and as such, they have no spiritual discernment, no spiritual power and very little spiritual desire. In addition, there are many who are undoubtedly born again, but who are worldly and car­ nal, and not being led by the Spirit. However, we are not surprised, be­ cause the Scriptures teach us that in the last days there will be a form of Godliness without the power of God, and that the time will come when people will not endure sound doctrine. We are living in those very days. In time past, your church may have been a real lighthouse for God, but now it has evidently fallen into the hands of unregenerate leaders as well as Christians. If you can do nothing about it, I would suggest that you consider finding a Church that truly honors Christ, then make every effort to get your granddaughter under the teaching of dedicated Christian Sun­ day school teachers.

THE KING 'S BUSINESS

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