Workers’ Compensation • Personal Injury • Product Liability • Bad Drugs • Mass Torts (866) BAD-RXRX • (866) I-SUE-YOU • (954) 227-7529 • (954) 998-0075 Text • (954) 227-1243 Fax • firstname.lastname@example.org 5421 N. University Dr., #102, Coral Springs, FL 33067
Why do I use that tag line?
It’s simple — I want people to know that they can use me as a legal resource, even if they do not have a current workers’ compensation, personal injury, and/or mass tort claim. Unfortunately, the media often portrays attorneys in a negative light. It even goes back to the late 16th century, as referenced in William Shakespeare’s play, “Henry VI.” One of the most famous lines is, “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” Sure, we all know some funny attorney jokes. Let’s, however, contrast that with what Warren Zevon sang about when he was down on his luck in the 1978 hit song, “Lawyers, Guns, and Money.” Things were getting dicey as referenced in these lyrics: “I was gambling in Havana/I took a little risk/ Send lawyers, guns, and money/ Dad, get me out of this!/ And I’m down on my luck/ Now I’m hiding in Honduras/ I’m a desperate man/ Send lawyers, guns, and money/ The sh*t has hit the fan.” As you can see, he needed three very important things, and yet a lawyer was listed as the highest of his priorities. Honestly, if you are in legal trouble, your best friend could be an attorney! Everyone knows the old phrase “knowledge is power.” It was sometimes used by one of our Founding Fathers, Thomas Jefferson.
with potential clients in person, over the phone, Zoom, or via email about their “stories,” in essence, I’m providing free legal work. This philosophy of my law firm serves several purposes. I offer this as a service to the public so they can better understand their duties, rights, and/or obligations. Although my time is valuable, there are no charges for fees or costs since many individuals are actually afraid to even consult with an attorney based on their perception of how expensive it is, like “money flying out of their wallets.” It helps foster a positive image for the entire legal community. Goodwill is also created so people may be encouraged to hire me now, sometime down the line, or possibly even refer a potential client. I gain satisfaction in assisting those who may need help. It’s really all about trying to ease one’s fears about the legal process. Finally for those individuals who do become a client, I provide my cell number, and they can count on me days, nights, weekends, and/or on holidays, but please just not when I am having a snack or meal! To recap, if you want your “own” lawyer, contact us at The Law Offices of Evan M. Ostfeld, P.A. at (866) BAD RXRX, (866) I SUE YOU, (844) 411 KING, or (954) 227-7529, (954) 998-0075 text, or email@example.com. I’m never too busy as your attorney4life! –Evan M. Ostfeld,Esq. firstname.lastname@example.org • attorney4life.com | 1
So, I made it my mission to help the public (even if they don’t actually become clients) to provide legal advice about their particular situation.
Thanks for allowing us to represent you. Hopefully you’ll continue to trust us for your referrals of friends and family, even if the matter occurs outside of Florida. We are only a call, text, or email away!
(866) I-SUE-YOU (866) BAD-RXRX (844) 411-KING (954) 998-0075 Text (954) 227-7529 email@example.com
Accordingly, when communicating
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CATCHPHRASE! 6 Things Celebrities Tried to Trademark — and Some Who Succeeded
Celebrities love to trademark all sorts of things for one simple reason: People associate certain words with the celebrity’s brand, and the celebrity wants to protect that. It makes sense from a business perspective, but sometimes, it can get a little silly. Read on to see what the U.S. Trademark and Patent Office gave its blessing to and which trademarks it outright refused to create. Blue Ivy Carter Just days before their first daughter was born in 2012, Beyoncé and Jay-Z filed for a trademark on her name. The problem was that a wedding planning company called
Blue Ivy was already using the name. Plus, Jay-Z mentioned to the media that their intention was to prevent others from using it. The trademark was denied. Kylie This generic trademark was filed by Kylie Jenner (of the Kardashians and Jenners). Her intention was to use her trademarked name for marketing purposes. The trademark was denied, and Jenner even ended up in a brief legal battle with singer Kylie Minogue. ‘Let’s get ready to rumble!’ One of the most well-known catchphrases of all time was successfully trademarked in 1992 by its creator, boxing announcer Michael Buffer. Even better, it’s made Buffer a very wealthy man. To date, he has made nearly $500 million dollars by licensing the trademark. ‘Rock Star From Mars’ Back in 2011, actor Charlie Sheen had a very public meltdown. During the episode, he
rambled off countless phrases such as “Duh, winning,” “tiger blood,” and “rock star from Mars.” In the end, he tried to trademark a total of 22 phrases, but all were rejected by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. ‘You’re fired!’ Donald Trump is known for many things, including emblazoning his name on everything he owns. Long before he was president and while host of “The Apprentice,” he filed a trademark on the show’s catchphrase. It was denied because it was too close to a preexisting (and trademarked) board game called You’re Hired. ‘BAM!’ TV chef Emeril Lagasse was a pioneer in the world of cooking shows. He popularized cooking on TV and captivated audiences by exclaiming one simple phrase every time he added an ingredient to whatever he was making: “BAM!” Naturally, he trademarked his signature phrase, but he doesn’t discourage people from using it as long as they keep it in the kitchen.
A Look at the Essure Mass Tort Lawsuit When Greed Outweighs Public Health and Safety!
Over the years, you’ve likely heard about massive federal cases that have been filed against corporations on behalf of the many individuals harmed by their products. It was Agent Orange in the 1970s, asbestos in the 1980s, and Roundup weed killer just a few years ago. These cases are massive undertakings that can last years due to the sheer number of plaintiffs they include, which is one reason they captivate the public. Take, for example, a recent mass tort case involving Essure. Essure was an implanted device designed for women. It was a form of permanent birth control and marketed as an alternative to tubal ligation. It was available from 2002 until 2018. In 2018, Essure’s manufacturer and distributor, Bayer, stopped selling the product in the U.S. market (it had already been taken off the market everywhere else in the world in 2017). In September 2019, Bayer began recalling all devices that had not yet been implanted. Years before Bayer issued the recall, it was discovered that some
women who underwent the Essure implant procedure began to report a number of medical issues. Some of them required surgical intervention including: • Hysterectomy • Unintended/ectopic pregnancy • Migration and/or breakage of the device’s micro-inserts • Nickel poisoning, which causes hair loss • Rashes • Metal taste in mouth • Joint/muscle pain • Tooth decay • Perforation of the uterus, fallopian tube(s), and/or other pelvic/ abdominal organs • Abnormal/heavy menstrual bleeding • Severe abdominal/pelvic pain Severe menstrual pain • Autoimmune disorders
Naturally, these findings were alarming. In response, the Federal Drug Administration (FDA) issued a “black box warning” — a warning that must be printed on a drug or device’s packaging indicating serious side effects. It wasn’t until a year later that Essure was finally restricted in the United States. Right now, there are over 16,000 lawsuits filed in relation to Essure. Many of these lawsuits allege Bayer knew the serious risks associated with the device, but kept the product on the market anyway — even actively promoting it to women as safe and effective. If you or a loved one have used Essure and developed complications , call our legal team today at ( 866) BAD RXRX (866-223-7979) to schedule an initial consultation. We will investigate your possible Essure claim at no charge and are here to help!
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(866) I-SUE-YOU • (866) BAD-RXRX • (844) 411-KING • (954) 227-7529 • (954) 998-0075 Text
TAKE A BREAK
THE NIGHT MARTIANS INVADED NEW JERSEY
Orson Welles Recounts ‘The War of the Worlds’
On the evening of Oct. 30, 1938, an eloquent voice graced the airwaves in New Jersey:
“We now know in the early years of the 20th century, this world was being watched closely by intelligences greater than man’s, and yet as mortal as his own. We now know as human beings busied themselves about their various concerns, they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water …” And so began Orson Welles’ classic radio broadcast, a retelling of H.G. Wells’ “The War of the Worlds.” Peppered in the retelling were fictional news bulletins informing the public of an alien invasion. Martians had arrived in New Jersey! Some listeners, who had missed the fact that this was a retelling of “The War of the Worlds,” assumed the news bulletins were the real thing. Frenzied, they called local police, newspapers, and radio stations hoping for more information about the invasion. What were they supposed to do? Higher-ups at the CBS radio studio where Welles delivered the live reading called and told him he needed to stop and remind listeners that this was a work of fiction. The panic, it seemed, was growing as the Martians “approached” New York. A little later that night, police showed up at the studio with the intent of shutting the whole thing down.
SPOOKY STRAWBERRY GHOSTS
Inspired by Candiquik.com
These adorable chocolate-dipped strawberry ghosts will be the stars of your Halloween party!
The next day, the story broke
• 16 oz white chocolate, chopped • 24 strawberries
• 1 package mini dark chocolate chips
across the country —
newspapers reported on mass hysteria and stories poured out
that the nation had erupted in panic. However, as we now know, the extent of the panic was exaggerated. In fact, the program didn’t even have very many listeners that night, and most who had tuned in were aware they were listening to a radio play rather than a news broadcast. American University media historian W. Joseph Campbell, who researched the broadcast in the 2000s, found that while there had been some panic, most listeners simply enjoyed the show. It turns out the person who was the most frightened was Welles himself who thought his career had come to an end.
1. In a microwave-safe bowl, heat the white chocolate at 50% power for 30 seconds. Remove it and stir, then repeat the process until melted. 2. Lay out a sheet of parchment paper. 3. One by one, dip the strawberries into the melted white chocolate and set them on the parchment. Allow the extra chocolate to pool to form a “tail” effect. 4. Before the chocolate coating fully cools, add three mini chocolate
chips to each berry to form two eyes and a mouth. 5. Let chocolate set, then serve your spooky snacks!
firstname.lastname@example.org • attorney4life.com | 3
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5421 N. University Dr., #102, Coral Springs, FL 33067 (866) BAD-RXRX • (866) I-SUE-YOU • (954) 227-7529 (954) 998-0075 Text • (954) 227-1243 Fax • email@example.com
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
What Is Your Attorney4Life? 1
The Weird Things Celebs Tried to Trademark A Look at the Essure Mass Tort Lawsuit
Spooky Strawberry Ghosts What Really Happened the Night Martians Invaded New Jersey?
False Halloween Myths Perpetuated by the Media
RAZOR BLADES, STRAIGHT PINS, POISON, AND DRUGS OH MY… HALLOWEEN MYTHS THE MEDIA LOVES TO SCARE US WITH
For many people, Halloween is the time of year when certain spooky myths and superstitions come alive. It’s when we hear stories of black cats, witches, ghouls, ghosts and or bad luck. There are however some recent ones that often get perpetuated by both mainstream and social media — stories that frighten parents and create an anxious, fearful atmosphere. Razor Blades, Straight Pins, Poison, and Drugs For a long time, the razor blades in candy apples or other goodies have been a go-to media story. Every year around this time, you’re sure to see your local news running a segment that encourages parents to check their kids’ candy for possible tampering so they don’t swallow and ingest razor blades, straight pins, poison and or drugs. Fortunately there have been no documented cases of any child or parent finding such dangerous items in the annual “Halloween haul”. There has, however, been one lone case of a child
being poisoned. Sadly, in 1974, a father, Ronald Clark O’Bryan, who was dubbed the “The Candy Man” and “The Man Who Killed Halloween”, murdered his young son, Timothy, for $60,000 in life insurance proceeds. Prosecutors said there was enough potassium cyanide put in the Pixy Stix to kill three grown men. It took the Texas jury took only 46 minutes to return a guilty verdict worthy of the death penalty; O’Bryan was executed on March 31, 1984. THC THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) is the primary psychoactive compound found in cannabis and/or marijuana, and it’s the chemical that makes people high. In more recent years, there have been an increasing number of social media posts about THC-laced candy or edibles being found in kids’ candy bags. There are also news stories of THC-laced candy being found during warranted searches. However, that’s as far as the story goes, at least when it comes to Halloween. In 2019, police in Johnstown, Pennsylvania,
warned parents to be on the lookout for THC-laced candies after they found some in a bust. While the warning was certainly valid, nothing ever came of it. Should you check your child’s candy? Most definitely to ensure that it’s safe, though the dangers are negligible. It’s also important so you can snag some good candy choices before giving it back to them! That being said, children should never eat unwrapped or homemade treats while trick-or-treating. This has less to do with hidden dangers and more to do with simply not knowing what’s in those items, such as potential allergens.
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