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BERT’S BUZZ MARCH/APRIL 2025
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The Moments That Made Me Who I Am What My Kids Taught Me About Life, Love, and Service
Each of my children has brought their own unique personality, dreams, and challenges into my life. My kids are now 28, 20, 18, and 16, and they’ve grown into individuals I deeply admire. It’s fascinating to see how they’ve developed — so different yet so connected. During the most recent holidays, Marta and I watched them interact, laughing and supporting one another. Seeing how much they care for each other gave me a sense of pride I can hardly put into words. Knowing that when Marta and I are no longer here, they’ll have each other is one of the most comforting feelings I’ve ever experienced. Parenthood has taught me so much about people and relationships. I’ve come to understand that every person is different, each with their own strengths, quirks, and aspirations. As a father, I’ve learned to adapt my approach for each child — to meet them where they are and guide them toward where they want to be. That same lesson has carried over into my work. Whether it’s with my clients or my team, I’ve realized that success comes from understanding people as individuals and supporting them in the way they need most. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t made mistakes. Every parent worries about the ways they might “mess up” their kids. I’ve had my share of moments where I questioned if I was doing the right thing. But I’ve always tried my best to serve my family with love, commitment, and a genuine effort to help them grow into compassionate, independent adults. And those little moments of connection — the kind you don’t plan for — remind me that I’m doing something right. I remember
When I look back at my life as a father, I often marvel at how much I’ve truly learned from this incredible journey. Parenthood has shaped every facet of who I am today, not just as a person but as an attorney and even as a leader in my firm. With National Teenager Day on March 21 and Absolutely Incredible Kid Day on March 16, it feels like the perfect time to reflect on how being a dad has profoundly shaped my outlook and purpose in life. I’ll admit, when I first learned I was going to be a father, I was both excited and nervous. I’d always wanted kids; Marta and I agreed on that from the start. But the reality of knowing you’ll be responsible for another human being — it’s overwhelming. When my oldest son Malcolm was born, it felt like my world flipped overnight. Until that point, life was largely about me — my career, my goals, my choices. While marriage shifted my purpose considerably to be a partner in life with Marta, parenthood shifted everything . It wasn’t about me or just Marta and me any longer. My purpose became clear: I was here to serve this little person, and soon to be more little people, and help them grow, thrive, and reach their full potential.
journaling when my youngest, Viktor, was just 2. I wrote down how he once asked me, “Daddy, can I have a kiss ( sweetly pronounced as kees) ?” Every time I read that memory, I smile because it captures the sweetness of a fleeting moment I might have otherwise forgotten. Since then, I’ve continued to journal daily to document all the little moments I want to remember. Of course, life is full of surprises, no matter how much you plan. In 2005, when my son Malcolm was a toddler, I discovered I had another child — a daughter, Isabel, from a prior relationship. Learning about her was a pivotal moment for my family. When I told Marta, she didn’t hesitate. She simply said, with a warm and caring smile, “Well, we’ll have one more member of the family!” That moment showed me the depth of Marta’s love and her unwavering commitment to family. Isabel has been a tremendous part of our lives ever since, and seeing her bond with Marta and her siblings has been one of the greatest gifts I could have imagined. A sudden curveball in life became another blessing that changed me in ways I could have never anticipated.
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The Heart of Easter
Egg Hunts, Blessings, and Togetherness This Easter Sunday
blend of reverence and personal connection, and it always reminds me of the deeper meaning behind the holiday.
Easter has always been a special time for our family, a moment to step away from the chaos of life and focus on what truly matters: family and togetherness. With my wife Marta being Polish, Easter holds extra significance for us as it’s steeped in beautiful traditions that reflect her heritage. It’s a time when we celebrate the holiday and honor her culture, creating memories that bring us closer together.
After the service, we spend time with Marta’s parents. It’s not just a chance to share a meal but also to share stories, laughter, and a sense of continuity that comes from being together as a family. Easter feels like the perfect opportunity to slow down, to appreciate the people around us, and to remember how lucky we are to share these traditions.
Every year, we make it a point to attend the Easter service at a local Catholic church in Albuquerque that has become a gathering place for the Polish community for Easter. It’s a place where Marta feels connected to her roots, and our kids get to embrace a part of their identity
“Easter is about taking a step back from
Even though our kids are older now, they haven’t outgrown the joy of hunting for Easter eggs. We hide them in the yard every year, and no matter how “grown-up” they might
work, worries, and routines to focus on family, gratitude, and
that might otherwise feel distant. One of my favorite parts of the holiday is the blessing of the Easter baskets, also known as Ś wi ę conka, a Polish tradition Marta passed down to our children. The baskets
claim to be, they always get into the spirit of the hunt, laughing and joking as they compete to fill their baskets. It’s a simple tradition but one that brings out childlike wonder in all of us. Watching them reminds me how important it is to create moments that feel special — moments they’ll hopefully carry with them as they build their own traditions someday.
the joy of simply being together.”
are filled with carefully prepared items symbolizing different things: sausage as abundance, lamb-shaped butter as new life and spring, and decorated eggs (“pisanki” in Polish) representing life and resurrection –
painted by our daughter Bowie and her grandma Eve — creating a centerpiece that always gets a smile.
Easter is about taking a step back from work, worries, and routines to focus on family, gratitude, and the joy of simply being together. Whether it’s the blessing of the baskets, the egg hunt in the yard, or sharing a meal with Marta’s family, Easter is a reminder that life’s greatest gifts aren’t found in the things we accomplish but in the people we hold close.
During the service, the priest, who once spent time in the Vatican serving alongside Pope John Paul II (Karol Józef Wojtyła, of Poland), speaks fondly of the late pope and the time he spent with him. It’s touching to hear his stories, a
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When Noelani Martinez pounds out a rhythm on her drum set, she’s not thinking about anything — she’s just jamming. But the teen has plenty to think about. The Brennan High School senior is the beat behind San Antonio’s School of Rock House Band and the recipient of the Military Child of the Year award from the Air Force. Martinez and six other children of service members were honored by the nonprofit Operation Homefront in April 2024 for embodying strength, resiliency, and service. The year before their nominations, the six performed over 3,500 hours of volunteer service, and Martinez herself earned top accolades for ROTC leadership, was part of a first-place winning drill team, and is in the top 2% of her graduating class. Noelani’s father, retired Colonel Melchizedek “Kato” Martinez, spent 29 years in special operations and tactical communications roles. Due to his career, Noelani and her three siblings have traveled the world, calling places as varied as the Netherlands and Hawaii home. “It’s amazing to be able to make friends from various places in the world and share our experiences,” she said of her life as an Air Force “brat.” But the Martinez family suffered a devastating loss: Noelani’s mother, Gail, was killed, and she and her siblings were severely injured during an April 2016 terrorist bombing of the Brussels, Belgium, airport. At just 9 years old, Noelani was the one comforting her siblings as they awakened from comas. Summing up his daughter’s strength in the face of adversity, her father said, “She continues to bear both the physical and emotional scars of that tragic day, but rather than allow it to defeat her, she uses the pain to fight on and honor her mother’s love.” In an interview with an Ohio TV station, Noelani said she hopes the Child of the Year honor illuminates the challenges of military family life, particularly the frequent household moves that require starting over again and again. Her advice to other military kids is, “Give yourself grace” to get through the challenging parts. A Steady Beat of Resilience and Leadership Rock Drummer Earns Military Child Honor
... continued from Cover Parenthood has also shaped the way I approach my work. When I meet clients navigating some of the most challenging times in their lives, I can’t help but think of my own family. It’s a reminder to cherish the health and well-being of the people we love. That perspective pushes me to serve my clients with the same care and dedication I give my family. Now, as I approach the stage where my kids are becoming full-fledged “adults” (Bowie, my second daughter, just having registered to vote!), I’ve realized that parenthood is never really “done.” My father and mother are still in their 80s and 70s, and they still worry about all of us, just as I know I’ll always worry about my kids. But I’ve also come to see parenthood as a partnership. Marta and I are here to guide, support, and let them know they’re loved, no matter what stage of life they’re in. Parenthood isn’t always easy, but it’s the most fulfilling journey I could ever have imagined. It’s taught me the value of service, the importance of relationships, and the beauty of life’s unexpected moments. As I reflect on the joys and challenges of being a father, I feel immense gratitude, not just for my kids but for the lessons they’ve taught me along the way. —Bert Parnall
HOMEMADE SHAMROCK SHAKES
Inspired by TheKitchn.com
No need to make a McDonald’s run for this refreshingly minty treat. Make your own St. Patrick’s Day Shamrock Shakes at home (They’re even better than Mickey D’s!)
Ingredients
Milkshake • 1 pint vanilla ice cream • 2/3 cup whole milk
Toppings • Whipped cream • Green sprinkles • 2 maraschino cherries
• 1/2 tsp peppermint extract • 8 drops liquid or 4 drops gel green food coloring
Directions 1. Put 2 tall drinking glasses into the freezer to chill. 2. Allow ice cream to slightly soften for 10–15 minutes. 3. In a blender, add milk, peppermint extract, green food coloring, and softened vanilla ice cream. 4. Blend on lowest setting and work up to medium speed for 1 minute or until smooth and pourable. 5. Pour evenly into frosted glasses, and top with garnish of your choice. Serve immediately.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
1
The Unexpected Joys and Lessons of Raising a Family
Easter Moments That Remind Us What Matters Most
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3
Take a Break!
Homemade Shamrock Shakes
Operation Homefront Honors Remarkable Kids
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Build a Positive Self-Image in Your Kids!
RAISE CONFIDENT KIDS 4 Tips Every Parent Should Follow
Recognize your child’s effort in addition to their accomplishment. As parents, it’s easy to praise your child’s accomplishments without acknowledging all their hard work to achieve them. Suppose your child won first place in their school’s spelling bee. Instead of praising them for being the best, acknowledge how all their studying paid off. Express confidence in their ability to achieve success. Let your child know you’re not only proud of them but also that you know they can achieve their goals. This praise sets the stage for your child to share future goals — for example, making the basketball or cheerleading team. Avoid foreshadowing praise with negativity. This may be difficult for some parents, especially if they’ve had repeated obedience issues. If you’re proud of your child’s game-
winning catch, avoid prefacing the statement with “Even though you didn’t cut the grass as I asked …” This can be considered the equivalent of a backhanded compliment, and no one responds well to those. Align the level of praise with the accomplishment. In other words, don’t overdo it. Parents are their children’s biggest cheerleaders, so it can be challenging to tame your emotions when they win or overcome a fear. This is, of course, at your discretion, but it’s something to be mindful of. Does winning the season’s first game warrant a big backyard party with all the bells and whistles? Everyone’s parenting styles differ, but instilling values such as believing in oneself, empathy, gratitude, and determination are qualities any parent can nurture in their children for the betterment of themselves and those around them.
Praising your child has always been a “tricky” area of parenting. You want to raise your child to be a confident human being while also embodying what it means to be humble and appreciative. So, how do you stay within the bounds of instilling self- assurance without going overboard? While every child is different, several parenting approaches allow you to praise your child’s efforts without enabling arrogance.
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