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WHY I PRACTICE ‘SERVANT LEADERSHIP’ WITH MY KIDS HAVE YOU TRIED THIS PARENTING STYLE?
MAY 2023
A few weeks ago, my daughter Hanna came home from school without her homework.
“I forgot the sheet!” she told me. “What should I do?”
All of my instincts screamed at me to email Hanna’s teacher and say, “Hey, could you send me a copy of today’s homework?” But I knew that wasn’t the right step to take. See, this wasn’t the first time Hanna had forgotten a homework assignment, worksheet, or study guide in class. We’d already talked about the importance of organizing her papers and the best way to load up her backpack at the end of the school day. So, I stopped just short of pulling out my phone. Instead, I told her, “I guess you’ll have to go to school tomorrow and explain to your teacher why you didn’t finish your homework.” As a super-organized, straight-A student myself, it killed me to have that conversation with my daughter! I felt even worse imagining how awkward and uncomfortable she’d feel talking to her teacher the next day. However, I knew she needed to understand the consequences of her actions sooner rather than later. Hanna is in elementary school now, but regularly missing her homework won’t be acceptable in middle or high school. I also knew if I emailed the teacher, Hanna would start to rely on that backup plan. It would become a crutch and she’d never overcome her forgetfulness. I had that tough conversation with Hanna from a place of love, and looking back, it was a great example of a parenting philosophy I live by and recommend to all of the parents I work with at ADLG: servant leadership.
At its core, servant leadership means leading by loving the people you are responsible for and giving them all of the tools, resources, help, support, and feedback they need to grow. Parents who are servant leaders help their families help themselves. We want our kids to shine, not because they make us look good but for their own well-being! As a parent, I believe I’m a tool for my children. My purpose is to help them grow up into responsible, capable adults who can fulfill their gifts, accomplish their missions, and contribute to the world. Sometimes that means stepping in to remove obstacles for my kids with a bit of heavy lifting and elbow grease, and sometimes it means giving them the resources to remove those obstacles themselves. Some people think that parenting with servant leadership is “soft” because it comes from a place of love, but I think that couldn’t be further from the truth. Not only does a good servant leader always share feedback (even when it’s hard to hear), they hold their charges accountable and responsible for their actions — as I did with Hanna and her homework. I could probably write a book about servant leadership, but for now, I’ve settled for discussing it in an episode of the “Happily Ever After Divorce” podcast. To learn more about this parenting style, scan the QR code above and listen to the episode “Servant Leadership With Parenting.” –Sara Khaki Scan the QR code and scroll down to listen to our podcast episode “Servant Leadership With Parenting”
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“All of my instincts screamed at me to email Hanna’s teacher and say, ‘Hey, could you send me a copy of today’s homework?’ But I knew that wasn’t the right step to take.”
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JOIN US FOR 2 VIRTUAL MEET-UPS!
WE’LL HELP YOU THROUGH THE PROCESS
HAPPILY EVER AFTER DIVORCE SUPPORT GROUP MEETING (VIRTUAL SUPPORT GROUP) When: Friday, May 12, at 6:30 p.m. Register: AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/happily-ever-after-divorce-support-group Most people who get divorced expect a huge weight to lift from their shoulders the moment the process is complete. Sometimes this happens, but more often than not, it doesn’t. Why? Well, the end of the divorce process doesn’t mean the end of your complex feelings about your marriage. You may still feel lost, confused, or angry long after signing your divorce paperwork. This is totally normal — but you don’t have to stay in that place of uncertainty! Our Happily Ever After Divorce Support Group can help you push through it and find closure. Register now to join moderator and licensed marriage and family therapist Kathleen Shack for a discussion with your peers that will help you resolve your feelings and tie up loose ends.
Our complimentary divorce support groups and seminars are available online. Register for these upcoming events to gain knowledge, resources, and emotional support to help you feel empowered while you go through major life changes.
DIVORCING A NARCISSIST (COMPLIMENTARY WEBINAR) When: Thursday, May 11, at 6:30 p.m. Register: AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/our-seminars
Living with a narcissistic partner is tough — and it can quickly turn toxic. They might overstep your boundaries, play with your feelings, or try to make you believe you’re in the wrong when you aren’t. If you or someone you know is in this situation and feels trapped, divorce could be a good option, and our free “Divorcing a Narcissist” webinar will walk you through it. At the webinar, you (or your friend, family member, or client who needs help) will learn whether divorce is really the best solution and which steps to take. Our team of experts will also explain what to expect from your partner and how to prepare for the process. You don’t need to walk into divorce blind or alone!
TIPS ON HOW TO INTRODUCE A PET TO CHILDREN We Added a Furry Friend to the Family!
Owning a pet can be fun and exciting for the entire family. However, introducing animals to children can be stressful, and when your children meet your new pet, you want to start things on the right foot (and paw!). So, how do you go about doing this? EDUCATING CHILDREN ON PET CARE Before bringing your four-legged family member home, it’s best to sit down with your kids and teach them how to treat and care for a pet. They should pet their new friend politely and make sure the animal is comfortable. Teach them what a cat or dog looks like when they’re happy, scared, or annoyed.
Next, establish boundaries on what is and isn’t okay for your pet to eat and how to play with and care for them. You can also take this time to discuss the potential risks of owning a pet and what could happen if your child improperly handles them. Don’t forget to talk about dog or cat bites, scratching, and other behaviors. PREPARING THE INTRODUCTION When it’s finally time to bring your new family member home, inform your children about how nervous your new pet might be. They will be in a new environment with people they don’t know — so you want them to be as comfortable as possible.
First, allow your new pet to venture around the home and check things out. Once they’re acquainted with their surroundings, it’s time for them to meet the kids.
If you have multiple kids, have each child meet your new pet one at a time. You also want two guardians involved during the introduction — one can keep an eye on the furry friend, and the other can help the children. It’s also best to keep your new pet on a leash or harness if you need to separate them from anyone. REMEMBERING THE ACRONYM PAWS Teach your children to pause before approaching the animal. Have them ask if they can pet or play with the new four-legged friend. After your child waits for permission, have them gently offer a hand for your pet to sniff to see if they want to interact. If you need further guidance on introducing a new pet to your family or want to know how to train your furry friend, contact your local veterinarian for additional information.
2 AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com
Listen to the newest episodes from ADLG’s Sara Khaki and Shawna Woods!
‘Happily Ever After Divorce Podcast’
3 Hotels to Visit for a Great Night’s Sleep ! If you’ve ever planned a vacation, you’ve probably picked a few key places to visit, like a museum, restaurant, or historic site. However, a new vacation trend is becoming increasingly popular: sleep tourism, where a traveler plans their entire vacation to get the best quality sleep during their time away. Before, common goals for vacations were to eat delicious foods, stay up late to see the sights, and fit in as much activity as possible. However, this left travelers completely exhausted. And as our culture continues to understand how important sleep is to our health, more people are prioritizing rest even while they’re away. But being a sleep tourist is about more than going to bed early and ensuring you get your recommended eight hours of rest. It’s about building your vacation around sleep. Some hotels even offer rooms tailored to sleep tourists, with amenities so popular that their sleep options have become regular offerings.
You’ve probably heard at least one horror story from someone who bought a home without an inspection and lived through the disastrous consequences. Maybe your friend discovered their porch was about to cave in from termite damage, or their bathroom walls were mold-infested. Whatever the issue, a good home inspector could have caught it — which is why we always recommend scheduling an inspection before you buy! Invisible problems lurk in almost every home, and here in Georgia, our partners at HouseMaster can uncover them before you spend your hard-earned money. They’ve been in business for over 40 years and inspected more than 3 million homes for buyers and sellers. Each inspection runs 2–4 hours so they can inventory every tiny detail of the property. The team at HouseMaster is so confident in their skills that they even offer a “Done Right Promise.” If you find a problem they didn’t catch within 120 days of inspection (or 90 days of closing, whichever comes first), they’ll reimburse you for repairs. Concierge Partner’s Corner Mary Helen Thompson HouseMaster Home Inspections
If you’re buying or selling a home this season, call our HouseMaster partner, Mary Helen Thompson, at 770-847-0449 to book your inspection.
So, if sleep tourism sounds like something you’d be interested in, here are three hotels that help you catch those z’s.
Park Hyatt New York (NYC): This hotel features a “Sleep Suite” designed by Bryte, a company that uses AI to facilitate sleep. The room touts an intuitive “Restorative Bed,” which adjusts to relieve pressure points and controls climate temperature throughout the night, according to each person’s needs. This suite also includes an array of soothing essential oils, a diffuser, and books about sleep. The Cadogan, a Belmond Hotel (London): This hotel offers a “sleep concierge,” which boasts prerecorded sleep meditations and a pillow selection menu for every type of sleeper. Sleepers can even benefit from the hotel’s weighted blankets, scented pillow mist service, and their proprietary sleep tea. Zedwell (London): The first ever “sleep-centric” hotel, Zedwell uses recycled materials to insulate every door, wall, and floor from sound. This hotel also purifies the air within the hotel and fills every space with ambient lighting.
“Excellent quick service! They helped me finalize and settle my divorce quickly, and I am greatly appreciative of Megan and her team. I would highly recommend [them] to everyone.” –Yvonne N. “[My attorney] was great! He took our case and fought for us until we got what we deserved. He treated us more like family than clients. I would highly recommend him!!” –Reginald D. WHAT OUR CLIENTS ARE SAYING!
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Did you know May is Mystery Month? There are dozens of ways to celebrate this enigmatic occasion, from playing Clue to rewatching “Glass Onion” — but why not bring those experiences to life and host your own murder mystery dinner at home? Thanks to a plethora of kits on the market, doing so is easier than ever! WHAT IS A MURDER MYSTERY DINNER? A murder mystery dinner is essentially a real-life game of Clue. You invite friends over for dinner and turn your home into the set of “Knives Out” — without the blood, of course. Each of your friends takes on the persona of a character in the story, and when one of them is “murdered,” you compete to uncover who dunnit. STEP 1: PICK YOUR KIT. Planning a murder mystery dinner from scratch would take the ingenuity of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Luckily, you have several ready-made mysteries to choose from! You can find boxes from Masters of Mystery and My Mystery Party at your local board game store, but you can find many options available online, too. Night of Mystery (NightOfMystery.com), for example, sells both in-person and virtual kits with themes ranging from ‘80s prom to Christmas homicide. If your friends and family don’t like the idea of acting and dressing up, that’s okay — you can still solve a mystery over dinner! Look into kits available through Unsolved Case Files (UnsolvedCaseFiles.com) or Hunt A Killer (Shop.HuntAKiller. com), which involve collaborative mystery-solving without the character work. Host a Murder Mystery Dinner! The Best Way to Celebrate Mystery Month:
STEP 2: CURATE YOUR GUEST LIST. Most murder mystery dinners require at least four people, while some include characters for six, eight, or more! Check the number of players on your kit and invite your most creative, analytical, theatrical, and mystery-loving friends. STEP 3: DECORATE AND PLAN THE MENU. If you choose a themed murder mystery, level up your event with a matching menu and decor! For games taking place in England, whip up a shepherd’s pie and make a cardboard cutout of Big Ben. For Havana Nights, plan a build-your- own Cubano bar and throw on an Afro-Cuban playlist. You can be as over-the- top as you like. Remember, it’s Mystery Month!
Local Ways to Spend Mother’s Day Treat Your Mom, Your Spouse, or Yourself!
Paint or make candles together — One of the best ways to celebrate Mother’s Day is by spending quality time with fellow moms, so why not create something together? Grab your favorite mom friend and join Altruistic Love Candle Company ( AltruisticLoveCandleCo.com ) for a candle-making class on Saturday, May 13, or take your mom to Painting with a Twist ( PaintingWithATwist.com ) on Sunday, May 14, for a Mother’s Day-themed painting class. Kids 21 and up are welcome. Crack up with comedian Heather Tolley‑Bauer — You could use a laugh in exchange for the chaos of parenting, and you can get it on Sunday, May 14, at MadLife Stage & Studios! Heather Tolley-Bauer’s Mother’s Day Special is called “Laugh-Lines & Stretch-Marks, ‘Funny As A Mother,’” and it’s the perfect way to de-stress. Visit MadLifeStageAndStudios.com . Shop local at the Mother’s Day Market — Load up the kids and head to the Mother’s Day Market at 572 Stokeswood Ave. SE for snacking and shopping from noon–6 p.m. on Sunday, May 14! This free event is the perfect opportunity to slip your kids a few dollars and encourage them to find a gift for you. Remember, Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be all about Mom. The lesson in generosity can be a gift to your children, too!
It’s almost Mother’s Day! If you’re a single mom, don’t give in to the temptation to skip the holiday this year. Instead, take the planning process into your own hands. Add one of these local events* to your calendar, or share this list with your co-parent, a family member, or a friend who will help your kids make the day special for you. Dig into brunch at Zoo Atlanta — Calling all parents of animal lovers! Enjoy a Mother’s Day buffet in the Michael & Thalia Carlos Ballroom in the zoo’s Savannah Hall, an afternoon of wandering the exhibits, and a professional family photo to take home. The entire adventure costs $169 for two. Visit ZooAtlanta.org/event/mothers-day-brunch to snag your seats.
*Note: As we write this, tickets are still available for all the ticketed events listed, but they’re going fast! Grab yours while you can or use full events as inspiration.
4 AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com
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