Stevens Firm - August 2018

Take a look at our newsletter this month.

What Matters Most

THE Stevens Firm, P.A. Family Law Center

349 E. Main Street, Suite 200, Spartanburg, SC 29302 • www.SCFamilyLaw.com • (864) 598-9172 August 2018

Back to School Isn’t Easy for Divorced/Blended Families

Tips for Putting Kids First

Back to school can be emotional for children and parents alike. On one hand, kids have the excitement of seeing their friends and learning new information. On the other hand, many students dread early mornings, homework, and a whole new social maze to navigate. The dichotomy of the experience can create a challenge unlike any other time of year. Parents encounter their own sets of obstacles. There’s the balancing of new schedules, the formation of new friend groups, and a completely different daily routine. These changes alone can be stressful. But when you add in the dynamic of divorced and blended families, mixed feelings can often turn into a minefield of stressors. That’s why we want to offer up a few tips for parents of divorced or blended families to help you transition to a happy and healthy school year. Details Including an ex-spouse in school paperwork may not be at the top of your mind when you’re filling out your child’s contact information, but it is an important step. Unless a court order specifies otherwise, including both biological parents as well as active step- parents will help should the school need to relay important information about your child. Most contact forms will not have enough space to fill out all the necessary details, so we suggest typing out an addendum for the teacher or school office. To further limit the

burden on your child, you can also use this addendum to explain the family dynamic and how it pertains to your child. The more information your school has, the better chance you have to set your child up for success. School Events Open houses, meet-the-teacher events, and parent-teacher conferences can present challenges for divorced and blended families. Both biological parents should at least be presented with information regarding school dates so they can play an active role in the life of their young student. Unfortunately, not all parents get along. Putting your child and their teacher in the middle of a potentially volatile situation can create a complicated relationship for you and your student. If you and your ex-spouse shouldn’t be in the same room but want to play equal roles, email the teacher and schedule a separate time to meet and discuss your child. Extracurricular Activities If your kids are anything like ours, they’re involved in so many after-school programs it’ll make your head spin. But just because parents are separated doesn’t mean extracurricular schedules stop. No one wants to be the parent who accidentally leaves their child at a sports complex after practice is over because they didn’t communicate. We love to promote using a shared calendar to coordinate your child’s after-school schedules. Beyond helping provide a platform to keep your days organized, in many cases, a shared calendar can also avoid unnecessary verbal communication that can lead to arguments. Divorce is never easy, but our firm is here to help. We’re not just divorce attorneys. We’re people, too. We understand back to school can be complicated for you and your child. If you have more questions about how your child can seamlessly transition when going back to school, feel free to read more about this topic on our blog: www.scfamilylaw/blog. “The more information your school has, the better chance you have to set your child up for success.”

–Ben and Jenny Stevens

Reminder About Our Firm’s Communication Policy Our promise to you is that while we are working on your case, we don’t take inbound phone calls, faxes, or emails. Our senior partner, Ben Stevens, takes no unscheduled inbound phone calls, as we have found this makes him much more productive and enables him to focus on getting your case resolved faster. You can always call our office at (864) 598-9172 and schedule an in-person or phone appointment with any of our attorneys, usually within 24–48 hours. We believe this approach is much better than the endless game of phone tag played by most businesses today. Email is also an efficient way to communicate with us, but please

be advised that emails are not typically checked more than twice per day. If you need something quickly, don’t email — call our office and speak with one of our assistants, who will be happy to help you. Disclaimer: This publication is intended to educate the general public about family law issues. It is not intended to be legal advice. Every case is different. The information in this newsletter may be freely copied and distributed so long as the newsletter is copied in its entirety and proper credit is attributed to “The Stevens Firm, P.A. — Family Law Center (SCFamilyLaw.com).”

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Become a ‘Dog Whisperer’

Train as a Pack for Better Results

Your whole family adores your dog — but not the barking. This issue can lead to feelings of frustration, and the more frustrated you get, the more your dog barks. It’s their only way of communicating, and they’re telling you, “My needs are not being met.” As Cesar Millan, the original “dog whisperer,” explains, “A barking dog needs exercise, discipline, and affection, in that order.” Exercise Part of the barking issue may be due to pent-up energy. According to the humane society, “A tired dog is a good dog and one who is less likely to bark from boredom or frustration.” If you already take your pup on a morning walk, try adding in an evening walk. You could add it to your child’s chore list and help get out some of the kid’s pent-up energy, too. It may also be beneficial to practice obedience exercises and games that challenge your dog. Discipline To put a stop to the behavior, you’ll first need to change any of your behavior that’s reinforcing it. Any attention your dog gets when he’s barking — even yelling, “Rover, stop!” — teaches him to keep going, because you’re rewarding him with attention. Wait until your dog has stopped barking to give him any sort of attention, including looking at them. “To be successful with this method, you must wait as long as it takes for him to stop barking,” advises the Humane Society. Each day, our world becomes more interconnected. For this reason, family law issues cross international borders with increasing frequency. Depending on the issues you are facing and the countries you have ties to, there are several laws that may be applicable to your family court case. In South Carolina, one or more of the following laws may impact your cross- border issues regarding children and maintenance. 1980 Hague Convention This treaty seeks to protect children from the harmful effects of abduction and retention over international boundaries by providing a procedure to bring about their prompt return. You can find the full list of signatories at hcch.net/en/instruments/conventions/status-table/?cid=24. Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act This uniform law, which has been adopted by 49 U.S. states, the District of Columbia, Guam, and the U.S. Virgin Islands, determines which state has continuing, exclusive jurisdiction to deal with determination of child custody or modification and enforcement of prior orders. This law offers a way to deal with abduction and retention issues if a country is not a signatory of the Hague Convention. 2007 Hague Convention This convention gives a modern, efficient, and accessible international system for cross-border recovery of child support and other forms of

Affection Of course, your dog needs love and attention to thrive — a lack of it could contribute to barking behavior. Reinforce silence by giving your dog a treat and an encouraging pat when she demonstrates good behavior, like not barking. “Our pups want to work for our attention,” Cesar Millan reminds us. “Allowing her to do that and to see your happiness is, to your dog, the biggest reward of all.”

To make your training program successful, consistency is key. Enlist the help of the whole family to stick to the principles. Together, you can foster a calm, peaceful home where you and your dog happily coexist. We Handle International Family Law Cases, Too

The Uniform Interstate Family Support Act This uniform law limits the jurisdiction that can establish and modify child-support orders and the enforcement of maintenance obligations by determining the jurisdiction and power of the courts in the different states. It also determines which state’s law will be applied in modifying or enforcing maintenance obligations — an important factor, as support laws vary greatly among the states. If you or someone you know is facing a family law matter that crosses international boundaries, it is critical to work with experienced attorneys who are well-equipped to handle all aspects of the local, national, and international family laws. As a fellow with the International Academy of Family Lawyers, senior partner Ben Stevens can work with attorneys all over the world to protect your best interests. Contact us at (864) 598-9172 to schedule an initial consultation.

family maintenance. You can find the full list of signatories at hcch.net/en/instruments/conventions/status-table/?cid=131.

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Summer Grilled Halibut If you’re tired of grilling hamburgers at this point in the summer, try using your grill for something a little different. This easy halibut recipe is a great change of pace.

Local Events What’s Happening in Spartanburg? A Production of Disney’s ‘The Little Mermaid’ When: Sept. 7, 8, 14, 15, 21, and 22 at 8 p.m.; Sept. 9, 15, 16, 22, and 23 at 3 p.m. Where: Chapman Cultural Center The Chapman Cultural Center is widely known in the community for its attention to providing numerous educational avenues pertaining to culture and the arts for adults and children alike. During these upcoming weeks, a phenomenal cast and crew will be putting together a production of the beloved Disney film “The Little Mermaid,” a narrative adored by viewers for nearly 30 years. Be sure to buy your tickets early so you and family can enjoy a night “Under the Sea”! Spartanburg Philharmonic When: Sept. 29, 7–9:30 p.m. Where: Chapman Cultural Center

Ingredients

• 4 boneless, skinless halibut fillets, about 5 ounces each • 1/4 cup olive oil, plus extra for drizzling • 1 lemon

• 2 pounds mixed tomatoes, sliced • 1/2 cup hearts of palm, drained • Basil leaves, for garnish • Kosher salt and black pepper, to taste

Directions

1. Lightly oil grill grates and heat grill to medium. 2. Grate 1 teaspoon lemon zest onto halibut fillets. Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. 3. Grill halibut, turning just once, for about 5 minutes on each side. 4. In a mixing bowl, combine tomatoes, hearts of palm, juice from lemon, and oil. Season with salt and pepper. 5. Garnish salad with basil. Spoon salad over grilled halibut. Serve.

take a break

After you and the family watch the Chapman Cultural Center’s production of “The Little Mermaid,” don’t forget to book your tickets to the Spartanburg Philharmonic to enjoy a blissful evening listening to performances of Bernstein’s “Candide Overture,” Gershwin’s

“An American in Paris,” and Ravel’s “Bolero.” What makes this particular performance so significant is that it marks

the Spartanburg Philharmonic’s 90th anniversary. Come help them celebrate almost a century of success! Inman Day Harvest Festival

When: Sept. 29, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Where: 20 S. Main St., Inman, SC

The last Saturday in September brings thousands of festival-goers to the Inman area to join in celebrating the season of harvest. The event features work by artists and craftsmen, as well as access to food vendors, children’s activities, crafting, special store sales, and entertainment throughout the day. The festival offers something for everyone!

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THE Stevens Firm, P.A. Family Law Center

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349 E. Main Street, Suite 200 Spartanburg, SC 29302

PAGE 1 Back to School for Divorced/ Blended Families PAGE 2 How to Get Your Dog to Stop Barking International Family Law PAGE 3 Summer Grilled Halibut Check Out These Local Events PAGE 4 The Strangest Holidays in August

February has Valentine’s Day; September has Labor Day; December, of course, has Christmas; and August has, um, National Raspberry Cream Pie Day. August may not host any major holidays, but it doesn’t lack for some of the goofiest on the calendar. August 6: National Wiggle Your Toes Day While the origin of this holiday is uncertain, it’s held every year on August 6. To celebrate, people are encouraged to wear sandals, flip flops, or other toe-exposing footwear. You can also frolic barefoot in the grass or simply stretch those digits throughout the day. Just don’t expect to see any Hallmark cards devoted to National Wiggle Your Toes Day anytime soon. August 13: Left-Handers Day About 10 percent of the population is left-handed. Lefties may be stuck in a right-hand-dominant world, but on August 13, they rule the roost. Originally founded in England, Left-Handers Day has taken off in the U.S. Righties are encouraged to try out a left-handed approach for the day. Lefties, for their part, are free to be themselves. August 17: National Thrift Shop Day Thrift shops are a staple of American commerce, so it makes sense that there is a day devoted to them. Take the day to hunt for lost treasures and screaming deals. Many thrift shops also benefit nonprofit organizations, giving you even more reason to frequent them. August’s Silliest Holidays

Are These on Your Calendar?

August 27: National ‘Just Because’ Day This celebration is really scratching the bottom of the holiday barrel. Joseph J. Goodwin created National “Just Because” Day in the 1950s. It’s a day to do something “just because.” Be spontaneous and have a little fun. There’s no one way to celebrate, which is fitting, given that the existence of the holiday seems to defy logic altogether.

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