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How Old Thank-You Cards Helped Me Remember When I Made a Difference By Mary Kay Jordan Fleming
A tattered greeting card fell to the floor as I rummaged through the file cabinet. I opened the card to find a name I barely remembered along with a handwritten message. "Your class changed my life and that of my children." I held the card to my heart. I retired after almost 40 years of teaching developmental psychology. Three years later, I'm still sorting through the remnants of that life I no longer live. There's constant pressure on older folks like me to empty our overstuffed file cabinets and closets: Declutter now to make life easier for those we leave behind. Fair enough. But it's not easy to decide what to keep when a full life generates so much.
For me, those carefully preserved thank-you notes held part of the answer. They revealed a past and a person I'd almost forgotten. Someone whose life was far from extraordinary but counted for something, nonetheless. One former student honored me with a special place in her life story. "Because you lent a sympathetic ear and helped me build confidence, you have become a part of my autobiography. You touch more people than you realize." Most of the messages came from young people still figuring out who they wanted to be, how they wanted to live their lives. A few were in the early stages of building their families and careers. I, on the other hand, have already traversed that territory. My future requires hindsight and foresight in equal measure, making peace with the past as well as finding new purpose.
“Have I made a difference in the world? Could I pass into eternity tomorrow with no regrets?”
The bulging folder labeled Thank-You Notes held messages from past students, former Cub Scouts, robotics team members and attendants from my children's weddings. My careful preservation of these long-yellowed pages would horrify a minimalist. Now in my seventh decade, more of my life lies behind me than ahead. The questions I face at this stage would have been unimaginable to the young people who wrote those cards. Have I made a difference in the world? Could I pass into eternity tomorrow with no regrets?
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20
JUNE 2023
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