Dear Gee, I am sober for two years but there is so much there I have not said out loud or told anyone. I was unfaithful at a work conference three years ago while drunk and have never told my husband or any other living soul. I am so guilty about this because I do love him, and he is a good man. Every time I think of the night in question, I hang my head in shame. I have never seen the man ever again and never will be feel utterly bereft that I could do that while drunk. How do I shift this guilt? Do I tell my husband? Do I tell my therapist? Do I tell my ladies sober group? Or do I just carry this guilt forever? Does it ever STOP? Hey beautiful lady, I am so sorry you are holding this burden, but I am also so glad that you have had the courage to share it here. I am sure there are hundreds of thousands of other women who have made terrible decisions whilst under the influence and they too are holding in such angst and shame. Let’s put this into perspective, you didn’t commit a crime, no jail sentence was required. I am not a priest and I can’t tell you what to do….. What I do know is you are not the first and you won’t be the last to do something completely out of character whilst under the influence of the wine witch. The fact that you are sharing it three years after the event makes me think you’ve punished yourself enough! What I can also say is this; No-one died, no-one got an STD as a result of the one stupid act, no long term affair came as a result of the incident. You made an unwise decision whilst totally under the influence. I wonder if the partner of the night has held the same amount of guilt since the incident! I am sure he won’t have given it a second thought! You have taken all the right steps to solve the reason you ended up in that position two plus years ago. There’s even a good chance if you’d have continued to drink you’d have wrecked
your r e l a t i onsh i p by th i s po i nt too . BUT you d i dn ’ t . You took r espons i b i l i t y and cont ro l back and you have two so l i d year s f r ee o f add i c t i on to ce l ebra t e ! In t e rms o f t e l l i ng your husband ; I ask th i s ques t i on , wha t wi l l i t se rve ? How wi l l i t he l p? I th i nk you ’ ve pun i shed your se l f enough . I f you f ee l i t wou l d he l p you to d i scus s i t wi th your the rap i s t , then tha t ’ s a gr ea t sa f e space to do so . I a l so th i nk shar i ng wi th your group maybe a good opt i on and wa t ch the f l ood ga t es open , eve ryone has some th i ng h i dden i n the c l ose t . Be k i nd to your se l f beaut i fu l l ady , put i t beh i nd you and be gra t e fu l tha t you had the good sense to put the g l as s down . Move on , you dese rve i t . xxx x
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