Check out our October newsletter!
OCTOBER 2021
How I Focus on Me AND WHY I FIND TREMENDOUS VALUE IN IT
giving a cheating spouse a pass for extramarital affairs. That said, there are people I’ve encountered who are serial adulterers and who self-sabotage their own relationships. Sometimes this conduct is a direct result of something that happened to them in the past. In a situation like this one, a jilted spouse may struggle with the “how and the whys” of the situation they are facing. We oftentimes see the innocent spouse ultimately blame themselves for their cheating spouse’s conduct or worse yet, think there is something wrong with them. I’m only using this example to show that sometimes, the decisions people make, whether about something physical like poor diet or a sedentary lifestyle, substance abuse, or even philandering conduct as described above, can be rooted in unresolved, deep-seated mental problems or mindset issues that go back for years and even decades. Understanding this reality can provide an opportunity for healing — and we all deserve that. Oct. 10 is World Mental Health Day, and I hope everyone takes an opportunity on this holiday to explore their own mental capacities and well- being. Start examining what happened to you as a child, read more articles and books to help you grow, and find your way to de-stress. Remember, your self-worth is not attached to the things that are draining your mental health, like your addiction and the choices you made. Your self-worth is what you build it out to be. And we’re happy to support you along the way.
This summer, the whole world was astonished when Simone Biles opted out of most of the Tokyo Olympics gymnastics competition events. Later, we learned she was struggling with her mental health and a bad case of “the twisties,” which left her completely incapable of completing even simple routines. Today, many people consider her actions brave, sparking conversations about burnout, stress, anxiety, depression, and — more broadly put — our own mental health. Certainly, the conversation around mental health has improved from decades ago, but in the work we do every day at Douglass & Runger, we have seen just how detrimental poor mental health can be and the value of taking control of your mentality. Personally, I find comfort in two ways. I’m someone who loves to work out, not just because it’s better for my physical well-being but also because I am mentally better afterward. There are plenty of days where I spend an hour or two sweating away the anxiety, nerves, and stress at an Orangetheory Fitness class or lifting weights at the gym. There’s something to be said for dialing into your physical abilities, pushing yourself hard, and working up a great sweat. The other way I try to improve my mental health is more introspective. As a business leader, I enjoy reading self-improvement books. Admittedly, I thought these books were ridiculous just five years ago, but once I started reading books and listening to podcasts that challenged me to think beyond my own scope and improve the way I function, I knew I had to make personal development a habit. I’ve learned so much about myself and how to be a better person, husband, attorney, and boss just by reading and applying the ideas from these books and podcasts.
healthiest and most beneficial for us to do so. I think it’s all-too-common for us to take the approach I had five years ago, when I thought personal-development books were pointless, because it’s easy to do so. It’s much easier to avoid finding ways to improve our mentality and mindset than it is to confront it. What’s more, many of us don’t realize how impactful and powerful the experiences we had as children were and how they shape our lives today. For instance, when you meet someone who is a hoarder, addicted to drugs, or struggles to maintain a healthy weight, far too often, the assumption is that they are lazy and unwilling to change. Yet, what many of us don’t realize is that these addictions, conditions, and struggles people — ourselves included — face are often the result of trauma or events that happened when we were children. We see this a lot in family law cases. Spouses can’t understand why another spouse would cheat, and while we are all independent to make our own choices, framing the difficult and hurtful decisions the cheating spouse made with a mental health lens can help those impacted by these decisions come to terms with what has happened and find peace. I don’t want anyone to confuse what I’m saying here and read this to believe I am condoning adultery, because I’m not. I’m also certainly not
P.S. For more mental health resources, please visit the National Institute of Mental Health’s website at NIMH.NIH.gov.
It is important that we all find ways to support our mental well-being in whatever methods we find the
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THE ROOT OF THE MACA ROOT CRAZE
WHY ARE PEOPLE TRYING THIS POPULAR SUPPLEMENT?
What are the benefits and risks? Preliminary research shows a host of potential benefits. For starters, the plant is highly nutritious, providing high levels of vitamin C, copper, iron, and potassium. There are signs that maca can improve energy levels, mood, learning, and memory. Some reports state that maca can reduce menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes and night sweats, as well as reduce blood pressure. There’s even evidence that maca root can block harmful UV rays when applied directly to the skin. Maca root is considered safe and should not have noticeable side effects with moderate use. However, it has been shown to affect hormone
levels, so it’s best to avoid maca if you have thyroid issues or are undergoing any type of hormone treatment. As with any new supplement, pregnant and breastfeeding women should consult their doctors before using. How do you use it? The optimal dose for medicinal use has not been established, but most studies have tested doses ranging from 1.5–5 grams per day. If you want to incorporate maca into your diet, it’s easy to do through smoothies, oatmeals, and baked goods. You can try some today by picking up powdered maca root at health food stores, online retailers, and some supermarkets.
The popularity of maca root has exploded in recent years, but many people in the U.S. are still unfamiliar with the supplement and its potential benefits. Whether you’ve heard of maca root before in passing or this is your first time, here’s what you need to know. What is maca? Maca is grown in the Andes Mountains in Peru and is sometimes referred to as Peruvian ginseng. Maca has an earthy or even nutty flavor and is a common ingredient in Peruvian cuisine. It’s a cruciferous vegetable — like broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower — with an edible root but is most commonly dried and consumed in powder form.
Blend Until Smooth Despite the heartache and grief that can come with it, there are a number of benefits to a divorce. Among the many benefits, expanding your family can be one of the most exciting! While fairy tales may make stepfamilies seem “wicked,” stepsiblings and stepparents can become great additions to your life. To start off on the right path, consider this go-to guide for a smoothly blended family. Include your co-parent. Your ex shouldn’t be involved in the relationships your children build with their new stepsiblings and a potential stepparent. However, creating an open co-parenting space is vital to proper communication and civility between you and your ex. When you’re ready to introduce your partner to your children, notify your ex. Decide prior to this meeting how co-parenting will work with a new partner in the picture and set those boundaries with your partner. This will eliminate any miscommunication. You also need to ensure that you are in compliance with any provisions of any court-ordered parenting plans that may contain provisions regarding introduction of your children to new romantic partners. Start slowly. Your children may still be grieving the divorce, and you and your partner may have two very different lives you are now tasked with combining. So, don’t rush this process! Start your new stepfamily relationship in a neutral space — like a movie theater or pizza place — and just introduce your children, your partner, and their children to one another. Be upfront with the plans your partner and you have and let relationships naturally begin before responding. 3 TIPS FOR CREATING A HEALTHY STEPFAMILY
Don’t forget your old ways. Blending two families together is about compromise, but you shouldn’t give up on the lifestyle you and your children have created. If you have Friday movie nights, continue that tradition! Make special “date days,” where just you and your children spend time together. Or, consider combining a few traditions together. Who says you can’t have lasagna and ham on Christmas? Each family will be bringing their own habits, so create a space that’s open for all ideas, and you just might create new traditions! Starting your next chapter after a divorce is fraught with obstacles, but it doesn’t have to be treacherous. Our team can help you navigate this time through our family law expertise. For more details on this and our other legal services, please visit DouglassRunger.com.
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Protect Yourself After Divorce UPDATE YOUR ESTATE PLAN AFTER YOUR SPLIT IS FINAL Many components to nullifying a marriage can make the divorce process much longer than you would like it to be. However, there is one must-do step that will ensure you start this next chapter prepared and protected. You have to update your estate plan (or create one). Estate planning is one of the easiest ways to ensure you protect your family and your legacy, and divorce changes many of the plans you may have had in place.
Breakfast Sweet Potatoes
Here’s what you need to do when it comes to estate planning after the divorce is final.
Share the agreement. Once your ex-spouse and you agree to terms, simply share the document(s) with your estate planning attorney. As law experts, they will be able to determine your next steps to update your plans. This takes the guesswork out of this process for you. (For reference, we manage estate planning and divorce at Douglass & Runger, making this process that much easier.) Consider new key players. Your spouse was likely listed as the beneficiary for your assets, and they were also very likely given the power to make financial and medical decisions if you could not do so and had previously executed Durable Powers of Attorney. These beneficiary designations on your financial accounts should change immediately, and your Powers of Attorney should be updated as well, unless you and your ex have an agreement as part of your divorce indicating otherwise. When determining who you would nominate under any Power of Attorney to act on your behalf, be sure to consider people who are responsible and whom you trust. These could be neighbors, cousins, siblings, children, or even parents. Remember, it’s not about whom you like best; it’s about choosing someone you believe will do a good job. Reconsider plans for your wealth. When you are married, you share a lot of your wealth with your spouse. However, now that you’re divorced, you have the opportunity to share your wealth however you want! This is exciting. You can make a donation to your favorite charity, set up trusts for your children, or establish plans you didn’t think were possible when you were married. Divorce can be an opportunity! Whether you’re seeking help with your divorce or estate planning, Douglass & Runger’s experts can help. Call us today to learn more and visit DouglassRunger.com to explore all our legal services.
Inspired by AmbitiousKitchen.com
Finish the end of sweet potato season strong with this must- try breakfast recipe!
INGREDIENTS
• 2 medium sweet potatoes • 2 tbsp of your preferred nut butter
• 1 banana, sliced • 2 tsp chia seeds • Cinnamon and salt to taste
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat the oven to 375 F and cover a medium baking sheet with parchment paper or aluminum foil. 2. Poke holes in the sweet potatoes and bake on the prepared sheet for 45–60 minutes. 3. Once cooled, split the sweet potatoes down the middle and top with nut butter, banana, chia seeds, cinnamon, and salt. INSPIRATION “The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” –Voltaire
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1 Improve Your Mental Health This October 2 Is Maca Root Good for Your Health? 3 Steps to Better Stepfamilies 3 The No. 1 Thing You Must Do After Divorce: Estate Planning Breakfast Sweet Potatoes 4 3 Haunted Destinations to Visit This October Inside This Issue
Ghosts Across America 3 HAUNTED SPOTS EVERY GHOST BELIEVER WILL LOVE
October is one of the best months for travel in the U.S. With mild temperatures and gorgeous, colorful leaves everywhere, there’s no better time for a cross- country road trip. Add some Halloween flair to your October vacation with these three ghostly attractions. Visit the most haunted town in the U.S. —Waynesville, Ohio. Sure, New Orleans may have a spooky past, but it doesn’t compare to Waynesville. Many residents and visitors think this Ohio town is rife with ghosts. You may hear cries to “hurry up” at The Hammel House Inn, where many tunnels for the underground railroad came through, or you could see the apparition of a businessman from the 1800s who “never checked out.” Other sources report hauntings at the town’s historical society, Museum at the Friends Home, including a little girl who moves toys and sits on the porch. The society leans into the local fascination and hosts regular walking ghost tours and ghost hunting classes. Stay a while at Hotel Monte Vista in Flagstaff, Arizona. Guests at Hotel Monte Vista have often enjoyed long stays at the downtown Flagstaff, Arizona, hotel, but not everyone leaves. Constructed in 1927, the hotel is host to a number of reported ghosts. The most well-known is an elderly
woman who would spend hours rocking in the chair in her room. Today, her chair can be found moving on its own. Another popular visitor is the ghost of a bellboy who knocks on doors and announces that room service has arrived — only, no one’s there. Is there a monster in Pine Barrens, New Jersey? This one’s for those who love mysterious creatures. Pine Barrens is a mass of forested land that spreads across seven counties in New Jersey — and its most famous resident isn’t human. The Jersey Devil has a long, storied history and is said to be a combination of many animals: Its body is shaped like a kangaroo with wings. It has the head of a dog but the face of a horse. The creature is believed to have had a sickly start to life in 1735 and has stayed to haunt the forest’s inhabitants and even those who visit the area today.
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