NOTES with Jay Conner Success
JULY 2017
What’s the No. 1 reason people don’t take action? I encourage you to ask this question today, especially if you haven't raised any private money yet. If you’re honest with yourself, I bet the answer will always be that fear has entered the equation. Fear is the biggest roadblock most people have to overcome. We’re afraid of failure, or we’re afraid of rejection, or we might even be afraid of the unknown. I know I was nervous the first time I approached a potential lender. My first potential private lender was in my warm market, someone I knew from church. I didn’t even have my 16-minute CD recording to hand out yet. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to say or what the outcome would be, but I chose to act in spite of my fear. When you recognize fear is the reason you’re not taking action, the next thing you should do is ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” In the case of raising private money, the worst thing that can happen when you approach a potential lender is that you don’t get any money. I often remind people, you can’t lose what you don’t have. After I approached my first potential lender in church, I ended up getting $250,000. What would have happened if I had let fear keep me from acting? I would have got nothing. I usually teach people how to raise and attract private money. Today, I want to teach you how to overcome any fear that may be holding you back. There are four quotes that illustrate exactly what you need to achieve to overcome fear: “The most successful people learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.” This quote, spoken by Rick Harrison from the show “Pawn Stars” at a convention I attended some time ago, really resonated with me. When I spoke to my first private lender, I was nervous. When I gave my first presentation to real estate investors, I could barely sleep the Fear of Failure and Rejection How to Overcome the
night before. I was about to step out of my comfort zone, and that’s a scary thing. But in order to achieve the results I wanted, I needed to train myself to become a different person who felt comfortable doing these things. The idea of a comfort zone comes from what’s called a homeostatic impulse. This is what keeps our bodies at a consistent 98.6 degrees and what encourages us to follow what’s normal and familiar. But successful people aren’t normal! They regularly go out and do new things they aren’t comfortable with and start to look forward to getting out of their comfort zone. Allow yourself to do things that might make you feel uneasy. The opposite of fear is love. Your fear — your struggle — cannot exist when you feel love, particularly self-love and gratitude. When I speak on stage, I begin with affirmations. “I believe in myself. I believe in others. Others believe in me. I trust myself. I trust others. Others trust me. I attract millions in private money, and I have a millionaire mind.” I don’t just say these things. I believe them every day. You rise above the fear when you believe in yourself. “The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.”
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Dear Diary ... What do Thomas Jefferson, Charles Darwin, Winston Churchill, and Virginia Woolf all have in common? They all kept journals. In fact, many of history’s most celebrated figures journaled long before science connected journaling with personal growth and learning enhancement. However, traditional journaling isn’t for everyone. If you hit a wall every time you try to put pen to paper, or worry you’ll have to burn your journal when you’re done, there are other ways you, too, can enjoy the benefits of journaling.
How to Journal if You
Go Digital
Apps like Day One for iOS or Journey for Android are perfect for recording your thoughts quickly. Journaling apps are as easy as scrolling down social media, but they can be locked for your eyes only. Integrate written segments with photos to create entries you can reflect on from your phone, tablet, or computer. Record Quotes Quotes are special because they capture a profound feeling in just a few words. By recording some of your favorite quotes, you’re able to capture those feelings and reflect on why they resonate with you. Include quotes from historical figures, books, song lyrics, something you heard waiting in line at the coffee shop, or some of the “darndest things” your kids say. Collect Photos
The advent of camera phones made capturing life’s precious memories easy, but more often than not, those precious memories
‘Failing Forward’ John C. Maxwell’s Steps for Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones
Book Review:
• •
Thinking, “I am a failure.”
“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to … failure.”
Quitting.
Failing Forward: •
People often fail. Even the most successful people in history, from the Wright brothers and Amelia Earhart to Arnold Palmer and Sergio Zyman, have been failures at some point in their lives. So, what’s the difference between the failures of a celebrated writer like George Bernard Shaw and the failures of a writer who never published a single word? As John C. Maxwell can tell you, while the average person lets their failures knock them backward, successful people fail forward. In his book “Failing Forward: Steps for Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones,” Maxwell illustrates how positivity and growth can accompany any negative experience, if you’re willing to learn from it. According to Maxwell, people can either fail backward and learn nothing, or they can fail forward and gain new insight and experience. He challenges readers to determine how they approach failure by examining these traits. Failing Backward: • Blaming others for failure. • Repeating the same mistakes. • Blindly accepting tradition. • Expecting to fail continuously or to never fail again. • Limited by past mistakes.
Taking responsibility.
• • • • • •
Learning from past mistakes. Maintaining a positive attitude. Challenging outdated assumptions. Recognizing failure as part of the learning process.
Taking new risks.
Persevering.
It’s not hard to understand why someone who insists on failing backward will always find success out of reach. The act of failing itself is far less important than how we respond to our own failures. If you see yourself failing backward, don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t let this realization feel like another failure. In 15 steps, Maxwell teaches his readers how to go from fearing failure to embracing it and moving forward. I recommend this book to everyone because, let’s be honest here, every one of us has failed or will fail at something. And this is a good thing! As Maxwell points out, “If you're not failing, you're probably not really moving forward.” So, move forward — by first failing forward.
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Fear of Failure and Rejection How to Overcome the
on’t Like Journaling
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 1 Peter 5:7 … casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Isaiah 41:10 ‘Do not fear, for I amwith you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Have You Heard the Good News … As It Relates to “Overcoming Fear & Rejection” are trapped in old cellphones, desktop folders, or dusty social media feeds. If you’re a visual person, why not start printing out your favorite pictures? Try organizing old photo albums or resurrect the art of scrapbooking. If you need help getting pictures off your computer, Snapfish.com specializes in turning digital pictures into quality prints. Write Letters to Your Kids Framing journal entries as letters to children can help provide a starting point for you. Many parents journal like this with the intent of letting their kids one day read the letters, but that doesn’t have to be your end goal. Nor do you have to write to your kids. You can address your letters to your spouse, a close friend, your mother, or even a loved one who’s passed away. There are as many reasons to journal as there are options for alternative journaling. Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s something you’ll enjoy doing every day. Happy journaling!
Cover article continued ...
“You become what you think about most of the time.”
Another way of saying this is, “Your dominant aspirations and thoughts become your reality.” If I’m thinking about my fear — if I’m afraid I’m going to mess up a deal and lose someone’s money — that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Successful people have the discipline to keep their mind focused on only the things they desire. They don’t get distracted by their fears. In other words, everything that happens works its way from the inside out. This is the law of correspondence. We are responsible for everything that happens to us. If you’re shaking your head right now and thinking, “No way, Jay. There are things that have happened in my life that I didn’t do. Those weren’t my fault!” then you’re letting fear hold you back. We have to take responsibility and accept we’re in our present situation entirely because of our past actions. Here’s the good news, though: When you take responsibility for your actions, you can change your future at any time. What manifests in your future comes directly from your thoughts and actions right now. You experience joy, health, and real estate success by thinking about how you will achieve these things and not let yourself be dragged down by negative or contradictory thoughts that undermine your desires. The bottom line is, when you overcome your fear, you move in the direction of something that’s bigger and better. Today, I have 44 private lenders and millions of dollars in funding from those lenders because I took action and left fear behind. So, what are you going to do differently? What’s holding you back? What’s the fear you need to analyze? What action are you going to take now that you have feared in the past? “Focus equals manifestation.”
– Jay Conner
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Afraid of Failure and Rejection? page 1 How to Journal Without Journaling page 2 Book Review: “Failing Forward” page 2 The Good News page 3 Register Now for Jay's Real Estate Cash Flow Conference page 4
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