Volume 26, Issue 2
W is c onsin Ch ristian N e w s .c om
Pa g e 7
Try It God’s Way (Continued from Page 3)
And like everything else, we must seek the guidance of God’s Word as we navigate this short life we have in this earthly realm. Again, constant sanctification. Constantly seeking to know and do God’s will — and follow His plan. We can’t very well do that if we don’t even know His will or His plan. But if you study and under- stand God’s Word on a regular, daily basis it becomes very easy and crys- tal clear how we’re to live and how we’re to treat and interact with each other. So many today view their mar- riages as a curse rather than the greatest blessing in their lives. Men refer to their wives as “the old ball and chain.” A burden, ruining all the fun. Wives refer to their husbands as “my old man.” Undesirable, fat, lazy and boring. But once upon a time these two were deeply in love. All they could think about was each other. What in the world happened? “Self” happened, that’s what. The honeymoon quickly ended as each partner sought to fulfill their own de- sires, rather than serve one another as they did when they were “court- ing.” When you do that, the attrac- tion, love and desire you have for one another will obviously reverse itself and of course you’ll view your spouse as a burden, baggage, undesirable, fat, lazy and boring. So... how is that “serving yourself” stuff working out now? Don’t you see? The Bible is right again! Husbands, love your wives and give yourself up for her! Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord! It’s all right there! But what happens when one spouse is following Christ, becoming more spiritually mature and living their lives in faith, relying on God and revering Him, but the other is not? First of all, choose your mate wisely. I understand the infatuation and pas- sion you feel in the beginning. You may be a strong, faithful Christ-fol- lower, but your beloved may only be a “baby Christian” or may even only express a slight interest in the things of God, so that you’ll find them ac- ceptable. You’re so “in love,” you be- lieve this doesn’t really matter that much, because you think once you’re married, you’ll grow together in the Lord. That doesn’t always happen. In 2nd Corinthians 6, we’re warned to not be unequally yoked with unbe- lievers. This is especially important when it comes to marriage. When the honeymoon and the infatuation inevitably ends, you may find yourself in a life-long union with a person who thinks you’re crazy because of your deep faith and love for God. You may wait a lifetime for them to come to Christ, even when you’re leading by example and selflessly serving them, modeling a true Christ-follow- ing lifestyle for them.
You might have a deep desire to pray together, serve God together, follow His commandments together, but your spouse may have zero in- terest in any of those things. Scrip- ture tells us, however, that we’re to stay together. The only excuse for divorce anywhere in God’s Word is in the case of adultery, and this is a worst-case scenario and very griev- ous to God. In 1 Corinthians 7, we have this: “If any brother has an un- believing wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. Also, if any woman has an unbeliev- ing husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her hus- band. For the unbelieving husband is set apart for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart for God by the husband.” 1 Peter 3:7 says, “Husbands, like- wise, dwell with them with under- standing, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” These verses tell me that even if your spouse is an unbeliever, you should still — steadfastly and consistently — minister to them through servant leadership, because you’re heirs to- gether of the grace of life. You may not be able to pray together, but you must still pray for your unbelieving mate — and do so in faith that their hearts may be opened to the Lord. And men, give honor to your wife under all circumstances. If you don’t, Scripture warns that your prayers may be hindered. And again, when you pray, do so in faith. You may have been the perfect spouse, patient, kind, loving and serving your mate for decades, pray- ing for them to come to Christ and still you haven’t seen any fruit from your efforts. I understand this can be extremely frustrating. But if you’ve been faithful to plant the seed, if you’ve been faithful to water it and tend to it, then continue to petition God in prayer on your mate’s behalf. “And He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” That’s Philippians 1:6, and though it’s actually an encouragement from Paul and Timothy to the new believ- ers in Philippi, I believe it’s also ap- plicable in the case of an unbelieving spouse. Since you and your mate are no longer two but one flesh when you’re married, God’s promises are for both of you. But understand that the work of your spouse’s salvation is not yours to do. You are to plant the seed, water it, tend to it, serve it and pray for it. But it is God who will be doing the miracle — not you. Be encouraged though. I know of several examples where it literally took a lifetime together before an un- believing spouse came to Christ in repentance and true faith. Some-
times we get the blessing from God of being allowed to see the fruits of our labors. In other cases, the seeds we plant don’t bloom until after our time on this earth is up. Hang in there. Do your part. Continue on in faith and confidence in God. Don’t let the doubts of the enemy frustrate you, and don’t grow weary in well doing. In conclusion on this topic, many marriages today are in turmoil. Many couples are incredibly un- happy in their marriages. Some are unequally yoked. If you’re in a sit- uation like this, just know that it doesn’t need to be this way. There is hope. But you must do your part. Memories are a wonderful gift from God. They teach us to avoid dangers and mistakes we made when we didn’t know any better. But our memories can also be a blessing as we recall the deep love and connection we had with our spouses when we were “courting.” In your mind, go back to those days, and remember that love. Yes, it was a feeling then, an emo- tion. But as we progress together in life, “love” transforms from a mere superficial feeling to inten- tional actions. If you want that new- lywed “spark” back in a wounded and dying relationship, simply do what you did “way back when.” You pursued, you served, you gave, you overlooked imperfections and focused on the good things. Do this again. If you’re in what you consider a “bad marriage,” this can only help. Do so with good and Godly intentions and combine it with fervent prayer — praying with confidence and faith — and He will bless your efforts. Our lifetimes here are too short to waste time and expend energy on doing life the wrong way. God Him- self has laid out the plan for us in His Holy Word, the Bible. Study it, and you will find every answer you’re seeking. At the same time, realize that the enemy of our souls, Satan, has brainwashed entire so- cieties and cultures around the world with lies that are the exact op- posite of God’s perfect plan for us. It’s a spiritual battle we’re in. Satan attacks children and families relentlessly, but to do that, he first must get a foot in the door by at- tacking husbands and wives in their marriages. One of his most effec- tive tools is whispering in our ears that we “deserve better,” that we are “entitled” to whatever we want, that we should come first. Jesus said the opposite. He said we must be the servant of all, laying down our lives for our brothers and sisters in Christ, and especially within the covenant we made with our spouses in marriage. So, try it God’s way. Do the opposite of what
Satan has made popular through his clever marketing of self-indulgence. Romans 12:2, “And be not con- formed to this world: but be trans- formed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of
God.” Don’t just read that. Do it. You’ve seen where doing things your way has gotten you. Isn’t it time to try it God’s way? Email: Rob@WisconsinChristianNews.com Phone: (715) 486-8066
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