T E X A R K A N A M A G A Z I N E
No Shame Zoloft Game IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK COLUMN BY L IZ FL IPPO
I got lost in a hotel when I was a little girl. In reality, it was probably only a few minutes, but that time of being separated from my family stamped me with anxiety with which I’ll likely always struggle. The racing heart, the light-headedness, the feeling of complete helplessness and lack of control over what is happening... It can be terrifying. But I’ve been on medication for years now and let me tell you, there ain’t no shame in my Zoloft game. As my parents helped guide me through coping and counseling with anxiety, we learned early on that I felt comfort in always having a plan since the unknown was a trigger. For example, in elementary school, between Meet the Teacher and the first day of school, Momma would take me to the school, and we would practice sitting in my desk and going to the gym, the cafeteria, the restroom and every other possible scenario to make sure I felt comfortable with a plan. As an adult, I am still very much a planner. I have become pretty detail oriented, and I create plans and backup plans when I can. But I’ve also experienced plenty of times when my plans have not worked, and you know what? It’s been ok. It all worked out as it should. I look back at times when the unknown was terrifying, and I have both peace and gratitude that I was not in control—God had it all along. My husband and I lived in Northwest Arkansas for several years after we got married. He was in law enforcement, and I was the director of a non-profit preschool. We were young; we were only parents to a 90-pound Boxer, and his shift-work sleep schedule was changing every eight weeks. One night he woke me to tell me he could not feel his left arm, and he was seeing dots in his vision. He had given it some time to go away on its own without success, and my strong, worry-less husband was officially panicked. Like I do in most situations, especially medical, I called Daddy for advice and he told me to rush him to the nearest Emergency Room. Long story short, my husband had experienced a TIA stroke. We were so young! Health scares of this level are not supposed to happen. What were we going to do? Was he going to be ok? Can you even imagine the anxiety? Several months later, his neurologist said he would never be released back to full duty and through that, God opened doors for us to move back home. Looking back, I am so grateful the plans we had made did not come to fruition. My husband has remained in great health as he has built a solid career in commercial development, and we are back home with our village, the one we never dreamt we would need.
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