helpful, by comparing them to better- performing peers, you’re creating a performance-based culture in your home that will lead them to question their worth. Brené Brown, a shame and vulnerability researcher, explains in a HuffPost article, “Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.” Don’t let your fear of the unknown overwhelm you. You may not know it all (actually, you don’t), and what worked with one child may not work for another. Grow together. Parenting has its own learning curve. (Consider downloading Brown’s free Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto for the moments you, too, wrestle with the “never enough” fear.) Every Child Learns Differently—And That’s Not Just a Saying The Centre for Educational Neuroscience in London points to a study with over 71 proposed learning styles. You don’t need me to list out all the ways that different children learn better with visual, auditory, or kinesthetic (hands-on) styles. We all know some people have to see something, while others need to hear something before it clicks. And that doesn’t even begin to cover how our brains are wired uniquely and how our interests can affect how we learn. While yes, there are often “typical” benchmarks, early learning is uneven, nonlinear, and deeply individual when comparing kids across the board. Maybe it just takes a little bit longer for your kid to process what they’re learning, or perhaps their struggles may point to a learning disability. Regardless, instead of stressing, be curious and supportive of your child, equipping them with the tools they need to progress. Reclaim joy in your child’s learning, noticing progress without measuring it against others. Give yourself permission to enjoy where your child is right now. Love Your Child Where They Are, Not Where You Want Them to Be Reminder: your child is not behind, broken, or failing. You are not late to the game— you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. And in the moments where you feel overwhelmed by insecurities, take a moment to pause, breathe, and zoom out. The best thing you can do for your child is meet them with gentle, loving support for all of the ways they have grown. Will there be more spiraling moments in the future? Certainly. But learning is not a race, and neither is parenting. So take it one day at a time, and you’ll be amazed to see how far you’ll go.
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