LEAVE IT TO SANTA
Stories of People Failing to Slide Down the Chimney
No one knows exactly how Santa Claus does it, but we all have our theories about how the jolly man shimmies his way down millions of chimneys every Christmas Eve. Some claim the same magic that propels Santa’s reindeer across the globe helps him slide down the chimney, while others believe he uses advanced technology to become small enough to fit. Regardless of how the big man makes it work, one thing is obvious: He’s the only one who should be using a chimney as a door. Below are a few stories of people who thought otherwise. A young man was celebrating his friends’ birthday on the rooftop terrace of a London apartment building. After settling onto the edge of the chimney, the young man stood up, slipped into it, and became stuck. His friends thought he was playing a silly prank, and the man was “too proud” to admit he could not move, according to the story told to The Guardian. But then his friends didn’t notice when he slid another 7 feet down the chimney, leaving this young lad Ain’t No Party Like a Chimney Party
trapped for hours. Contorting his body to reach his cell phone, the young man finally contacted emergency services and was freed. Today, his friends make light of the dangerous situation, and he feels lucky to have lived through it.
‘I’ll Take My Steak Well-Done’
In 2014, emergency officials were called to Mount Ebenezer Roadhouse in Australia after employees heard cries for help from the walls of the establishment. The source of the pleas was found to be coming from the chimney, where officials found a man wedged inside. According to officials, the man was attempting to rob the restaurant by slithering down the chimney when he became trapped. Ninety minutes after emergency crews arrived on scene, the man was freed and treated for his injuries. While these stories all have happy endings, many stories of people climbing through chimneys do not. It’s actually very dangerous. Don’t be a wannabe Santa — avoid sliding down the chimney this holiday season.
HAVE A LAUGH!
CRANBERRY GINGERBREAD
An Extra-Sweet Take on a Christmas Classic
Inspired by Food & Wine Magazine
Gingerbread is a holiday classic of the very first order, but it’s often a construction material rather than a treat. This recipe, on the contrary, is purely for eating.
INGREDIENTS
• 1/2 cup canola oil, plus more for greasing • 3/4 cup unsulphured molasses • 3/4 cup packed light brown sugar • 2 large eggs • 1 tbsp finely grated peeled fresh ginger • 1 1/2 cups fresh cranberries, coarsely chopped
• 2 cups all-purpose flour • 2 tsp baking powder • 1/2 tsp baking soda • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon • 1/2 tsp ground cloves • 1/2 tsp kosher salt
DIRECTIONS 1. Heat oven to 350°F. 2. Grease a loaf pan with canola oil.
3. In a large mixing bowl, mix together 1/2 cup canola oil, molasses, brown sugar, eggs, ginger, and cranberries. In a separate bowl, sift and combine flour with baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and salt. Mix dry ingredients into wet ingredients until blended. 4. Scrape batter into loaf pan and bake for 50 minutes, until cake tester comes out clean. 5. Transfer to a rack to cool for 10 minutes. Remove from pan; cool completely before serving.
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