American Consequences - January 2020

keep hordes of Americans from rushing the border to get to somewhere offering better career opportunities, such as Guatemala. Of course, U.S. markets will crash. But after 11 years of bull, we’re prepared for some shit. And there will be plenty of opportunities to cash in quickly on buying blue-chip investments at poker ante prices due to the “Left-Turn Recession” of 2021 being the shortest on record. Because... A blink of an eye is about how long the Democrats’ control of government will last. Democrats can’t even control their own presidential nomination process. What’s the likelihood of them suddenly taking the wheel of their self-driving “Detestla” political machine as it ploughs through the crowded crosswalk of national governance? Once the Democrats have been elected, they’ll realize what the rest of us already know from watching their debates and campaigns – they all hate each other. They can’t agree on anything. The Democrats could stand outdoors during Hurricane Dorian and argue about whether it’s raining. Although, to be fair – since President Trump thought Hurricane Dorian struck Alabama “ Do you think anybody paid 92% of their income to the IRS in 1952 or 1953? Crafting tax laws is a notoriously loopy process. And the salient quality of loops is... loopholes.

Clark Kent, Lois Lane, and Jimmy Olsen will have their jobs back at the Daily Planet . (Superman is sick and tired of disguising himself as Rachel Maddow.) Meanwhile, in the House and Senate, Democrats will be raising taxes sky-high. This would scare the heck out of me – if I were a patsy, a dupe, a ripe suck, or born yesterday. In 1952 and 1953, the top federal income tax rate was 92%. Do you think anybody paid 92% of their income to the IRS in 1952 or 1953? Crafting tax laws is a notoriously loopy process. And the salient quality of loops is... loopholes. What the House and Senate will really be doing is making Christmas 2021 come on April 15 for tax accountants. Democrats, unable to fund their mad profusion of spending projects with tax dollars because they drew the Laffer Curve upside down, will need to print even more money than we’re printing already. (The U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing may have to resort to Xerox machines at FedEx Office Print & Ship Centers.) The value of the U.S. dollar will crash. But this, at least, will end our trade war with China. When a pair of chopsticks starts going for $39.95, China’s not going to be raking in a trade surplus from us. We’ll have to make our own iPhones, but the upside is that instead of being tapped by Xi Jinping they’ll be tapped by the NSA... This is more patriotic. Democratic devastation of the economy will solve the immigration crisis too. In fact, it’s Mexico that may have to build a wall – to

American Consequences

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